Top Ten Movie Ghosts of All Time

Samara is the the Charles Bronson of bad-ass in the afterlife. Living in a well, she likes nothing more than Pina Coladas, walks in the rain, and horrifically executing anyone who watches her art house tape. And when it's all said and done, you might try to understand her or help her, but it's not going to stop her crawling out of your TV. Time to sell the TV.





See the full review, "Leaking TVs, horses freaking out: just another day in the life of Samara".

Adam: What are your qualifications?

Betelgeuse: Ah. Well... I attended Juilliard... I'm a graduate of the Harvard business school. I travel quite extensively. I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I've seen the EXORCIST ABOUT A HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SEVEN TIMES, AND IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT... NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT YOU'RE TALKING TO A DEAD GUY... NOW WHAT DO YOU THINK? You think I'm qualified?

I think that about says it all.

Patrick Swayze was the sort of guy you'd like to have a beer with. Prior to Ghost, nobody had considered pottery sexy - apparently the sales of the spinny clay things went through the roof. His unsettled spirit returns to save Demi Moore from this man's haircut:

Kayako is right up there with Samara for taking no crap from anyone and getting on with the inevitable, endless brutal killings. In fact, instead of the Alien vs Predator and Freddy vs Jason movies, I'd like to see Kayako vs Samara (and throw in Robocop for good measure).

The Grudge reminds us all never to visit any house in Japan without checking that no scary Asian girl was murdered at some point in the past. Instead of street numbers in Japan, they could just paint the bodycount on the front door.

Kayako can appear any time, invariably does, and has a death-rattle calling card that would make a great Halloween ringtone.

With so many ghosts to choose from, Ghostbusters is a veritable smorgasbord of the undead. Despite a choice between Zool, the lady in the library and the skeleton cab driver, I'm picking the ghost who would demolish that smorgasbord and leave you holding the check: Slimer.

Apart from the fact that Bruce doesn't think it's suspicious that nobody in the world will talk to him apart from Macaulay Mark II, we've gotta love his Help The Kid psychobabble approach instead of wearing sheets and rattling chains. Proof that there are billable hours in the afterlife, this was M Night's most fully-rounded character (which ain't saying a lot).

I still contend that The Shining is the scariest movie ever made. Packed with iconic visuals, genuinely frightening moments and a growing sense of dread, the hotel ghosts are alarming enough to make Holiday Inn Express look like a great choice. Redrum!

Is he a ghost? Who knows but drinking a vat of Starbucks never looked like such a good idea. Trapped in soggy stairs, or inside a waterbed - or being diced with his Swiss-army knife mitten motif: Freddy guarantees his victims a grisly demise all because eventually even a quadruple espresso wears off.

Wow, recent Spanish horror movies have really packed a punch. The ghosts in The Others are nearly as scary as the ones in The Orphanage, but I don't want to spoil the surprise if you haven't seen either film. Time to call in TAPS from Ghosthunters!