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From the Studio That Brought You Rebecca Black...

  • Mar 28, 2011
If you caught the little gem that is Rebecca Black's Friday (and if you haven't yet, you've probably been using the internet wrong), you've likely wondered "who-in-the-what-in-the-HUH?", but wait... there's more.  Yes, there's more autotuning, fake backgrounds, questionably written lyrics, cheesy special effects, random spurts of Ebonics, and creepy older rapper goodness from where that came from.

You'd think that with these prepubescent and teenaged girls' parents shelling out $2000 a pop, Ark Studios would put a little more thought into their songs and maybe even throw in voices lessons when necessary.  But no.

From the studio that brought you such inspiration lyrics as Yesterday was Thursday (Thurday)/Today is Friday (Friday)/[...]/Tomorrow is Saturday/And Sunday comes afterward (actually, this sounds more like it was written for small children or ESL students to learn the most important days of the week), I present to you, Ark Studio's other gems.

(Tosh.0 was right -- songwriting isn't for everyone.)
1
Alana Lee -
Cute video, but it's not a good sign when you can't tell which has more autotuning -- this, or Rebecca Black's Friday.  Creepy, much older, random rapper makes another appearance, rapping "Oh, wouldn't you help me with my grades?"


2
Britt Rutter-Without Your Love (Official Video)
This video's kind of hard to follow.  There are lots of shots of her laptop, including catching her boyfriend cheating on her on webcam, her making a humiliating video of him drooling in his sleep as revenge, and then officially ending their relationship via website FaceSpace.  Yes, FaceSpace.  Without fail, the rapper makes another appearance to some pretty nifty special effects.


3
CJ Fam - Ordinary Pop Star (Official Video)
This video and lyrics behind this song are just about as ridiculous as this little diva's curls.  Instead of running away from the prying eyes of TMZ cameras, she's running away from TMI.  The rapper makes a double appearance in here as a talent agent and an assistant figure, but surprisingly, does not rap.


4
Abby Victor-Crush On You (Official Video)
Not only are the scenes incredibly repetitive -- it's just the girl singing in the the mic for half the song -- but the lyrics are, too, I don't know why (4x)/I can feel (3x)/it, i have a crush on you. And off all the scenes with the random, older rapper, this has got to be the most awkward -- it's amid a teenage pillow fight.


5
Danika
This girl has a great voice and can actually sing.  Too bad that the creative folks at Ark couldn't put in even one single real background though.  And when the obligatory rapper scene comes on, they really bring out the big guns in terms of cheesy special effects.


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March 31, 2011
I'm all for studios representing young artists, however, this is kind of sick. Between the autotune, the questionable choices in lyrics or just the generally fake attitude this isn't the way to help these kids. It will simply give the internet essentially more food for the trolls, granted I did make fun of Rebecca Black as well as everyone else. To me this is the same thing as those karaoke machines, it may be fun to sing a song you have no buisness singing, just don't be surprised when people laugh when you show them
March 31, 2011
I'm all for that, too, except this is different... It's not showcasing innate talent; it's forging talent, and not very well either... Thanks for reading, Ian!
 
March 29, 2011
Ha Ha this is so hillarious, poor ignorant teenagers put through the machine in the hope that something magical comes out, those geniuses at Ark should make a Pop Star App so all of us at home can join in because that's what the world needs, more badly written Pop songs.
March 29, 2011
Hmmmm, that's an interesting idea -- an app! Yeah, I can't help but think what these teenagers will think of these videos when they're older!
 
March 28, 2011
sweet. I need to watch the vids at home though, they don't work so well on my work computer... :(
March 29, 2011
That blows! Well, prepare to be amused when you get home ;P
 
March 28, 2011
that britt rutter song is painful to my ears...Danika actually isn't a bad singer. She just can't dance so well and needs to work on that - that and she needs to hire a better a song writer.
March 28, 2011
A new choreographer, producer, director and songwriter might do the trick ;)
 
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devora ()
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When I'm not Lunching, I'm a jeweler, and an all around, self-proclaimed web geek. My passions include social media, the interweb, technology, writing, yoga, fitness, photography, jewelry, fashion, … more
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