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The state of being a friend; association as friends: to value a person's friendship

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Who Needs Friends?

  • Jul 11, 2009
  • by

There are people all through our lives who come along & inspire us in one way or another. Sometimes they are only in our lives for a brief period of time & often we find their visit is much like a vapor. Thye are here to day & gone tomorrow. If we are indeed fortunate, we may all find that one special friend whom we're stuck with for life. I don't know that I completely understand this mysterious yet hopefully joyful relationship process all that well per se but it intrigues me nevertheless.  

Life seems brief like a vapor itself. One day, you find yourself waking up & looking in the mirror only to ask how you've managed to get where you are today. Who is that face looking right back at you & would you recognize it as your own? Do you love what you see & can you find it within yourself to love this person in the mirror?  If you can find it within yourself to love who are you despite your character flaws & shortcomings, you are well on your way to loving someone else.

My ex sent me a forwarded text message back in the month of March which kinda sorta stuck with me. We had been separated for nearly two months already & basically our communication had been cut back severely. On the average, we might exchange a few text messages here or there in this digital place I commonly refer to as Hell or talk on some lonesome nights when all the world is fast asleep. I immediately wanted to delete the message as I literally am annoyed by chain letters or forwarded crap as a general rule of thumb. However, this one had a deeper meaning & I refer to quite often when I stop to think of all the wonderful people I've met in my life. 

PLEASE READ Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Forget about the one's who don't. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it. Friends are like balloons: once you let them go, you can't get them back. 

How strange yet wonderful is that?
I had to stop & re-evaluate many of old relationships as well as the current friendships that I would love to maintain. It's never an easy thing to let go of the past let alone re-visit certain periods of time in your life. Needless to say, I was fairly pleased at the way most things turned out & I couldn't really admit to having any regrets for the most part. Everyone I could remember in my life has served a grand purpose in my life & quite a few have inspired me greatly.  Obviously, there are some I miss more than others & some I probably wouldn't  want to see again for various reasons but they left their mark on me nonetheless. I can re-visit these memories with a various degree of fondness at anytime thankfully & I choose to take with me the good memories rather than dwell on the bad or the overly negative thoughts.

As for the friends in my life right now, they are here for reasons I acknowledge & I accept them for who they are. Being a friend means loving unconditionally irregardless of what fate may sometimes have in store for you or those you love. Stand by your friends & support them as they make their way through life or sort through their miscellaneous battles. Again, nobody ever said it would be easy sad to say but it will be worth it. Never take them for granted & delight in every single moment that you should have to spend with them for you never know when those moments could dwindle. Be thankful for the days of sheer happiness & try to put the horrid past behind you. If you have been wronged, learn to forgive & do your best to forget.

For the friends I have yet to meet, I embrace them with open arms. I am intrigued to know what makes you who you really are & what makes you tick. I look forward to taking the time in getting to know you & am delighted that we will meet each other one day on life's eclectic highway. I don't know whether you are just a kindred spirit or my soul mate but you look very much like a friend to me from this area in which I stand. Let me extend you my hand.
Who Needs Friends? Who Needs Friends? Who Needs Friends? Who Needs Friends?

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October 10, 2011
EXCELLENT man, well done indeed. That message was really good as was your entire write up.
October 12, 2011
Thanks as always for being a loyal reader. I hope you will continue to find enjoyment or enlightenment if at all possible in my writings. Glad to know you here on lunch.
October 06, 2011
Well conveyed !
October 12, 2011
Thank you so much for reading. I'm glad you liked it!!
October 12, 2011
Keep writing.
January 27, 2010
Excellent thoughts, and ideas I also forgive and forget.
February 05, 2010
I'm glad you stopped by to read my work. Thank you for leaving the compliments. Hoping to see you around. Cheers! ;-)
October 14, 2009
Hey, I think u're way too young to think life is a vapor! 2 months of not talking to an ex is nothing really, they come and go, ex-es I mean. So, don't worry about it, NEXT!!! :-) As for friends, I'm blessed with many who have been here with me for decades. And it doesn't happened just by chance. YOU need to work at keeping them close. Not the other way round. And it's not just one special friend... one? that's pathetic! ;-) Friends are not like balloon! Not at all. Plus, you accept them as they are but that doesn't mean loving them unconditionally. I mean some people does need a kick in the b... but they are still friends and it's a good friend who will tell you where you err and still accept you but that doesn't mean unconditionally and there is no way in life you can love another person unconditionally, unless it's your kids, I think. I may be wrong, ofc. :-) Best of luck to keeping those friends who mean much to you! It's a two way street, remember that!
October 14, 2009
Hey there Sharrie! Thnx for the words of wisdom. I should know by now that relationships are over no sooner than they begin. People can good-bye before they have barely even introduced themselves. I don't always see the world as a vapor per se but life does go by very quickly. It's hard to believe that I'll be 35 next month as the years go by very fast after 30 or so they say. I think unconditional love is possible but it's definitely work as you mentioned. It's easier to love a family member unconditionally I suppose than a friend but I believe there could be some exceptions to that. Consider yourself very blessed for the friends you've made over the decades & I'm wishing you all the best. Friends & family make life worthwhile.
October 14, 2009
Let me give you something Richard Bach gave me years ago: "Don't be dismayed at good-byes, A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends."
October 14, 2009
I love that! Thank you so much for sharing this. I have read some of Richard Bach but it's been awhile. I used to have a hardback copy of Jonathan Livingston Seagull.
October 14, 2009
Great! I didn't know that many people who read Richard Bach. It was an American who introduced him to me. Then again, that friend has somewhat said goodbye and because of this paragraph I'm sure we'll meet again one fine day :-)
October 14, 2009
Yeah, I've not read a lot of Bach unfortunately so I'm completely versed per se but I have enjoyed what I've read. I do hope you meet this friend again one day. This was very uplifting to me. ;-)
August 26, 2009

Let me address something, whilst we're on this subject.  PRE-DISCLAIMER..  Pardon me if this sounds like a rant.  Just a(nother) random thought...brought you live from the Zekester. 

One thing that has both amused and confused me about "networking" sites is this rather popular sentiment that "friend collecting" is something horrendous

So where did you [all] get these funny notions of "friend collecting"? Though it puzzles me, it bothers me not. I simply collect friends because people, for reasons not clear to me, send me friend requests. I have more than 700 (on Facebook, GDC) and 400 (on MySpace) right now that I've yet to sort through. But I'll tell you now, I'm going to accept each one of them! I have no reason not to. I don't know these folks, but if they're anything like cenobite7 or devora (my two choices for nicest, coolest people on the site), then bring it on! 

Many of the people who request to be my friend never contact me. (Mind you, most of my "friends" on Facebook are high school friends, acquaintances, and other-taxa "actual" friends).  Having addressed the aforementioned, I don't always contact them either, although I've made a habit of thanking them for the friend request. It doesn't bother me that they don't contact me, as I'd rather them write when they want rather than out of some sense of requirement. Beats me as to why they want to add me, but it does no harm. Neither is it in any way a nuisance. Who's to say they aren't really nice guys who aren't very good at conversation or think they'll bother or bore me. Maybe they have no interest in conversation and just like something of the personality in my photos. That's cool with me. After all, the photos are up to be enjoyed by friends and strangers alike.

I think people should do what they want. If you want no more than 20 friends, deny to your heart's content! If you want 3000, get those cute/prepster shots up! If you don't care, don't care. If you do, then care away. What, I reckon I don't follow is this..  the people who want to add you on instant-messengers and never say anything.  Sound oxymoronic?!  Lemme clarify..  Being a "virtual friend" on a site is quite a difference whence juxtaposed to the "IM buddies" who I/you would actually have [intermittant] conversation with.

August 26, 2009
Zekester, you bring up a great deal of interesting points here on your comment. May I ask you a question? This is so well-thought & well put together that I'm wondering why you didn't just write a micro review or a review for the whole topic of friendship. I'm being completely honest here when I say there is a lot of validity in this so-called rant of yours & your perspective on virtual friendship does make a great read. Not to mention entertaining overview of what so many of us have accepted nowadays as just commonplace. Thank you again by the way for addressing the subject & for your kindest comments. :-)~
July 12, 2009
Beautiful write up. I am speechless. (sniff sniff) I am extremely lucky to have the few friends I have, and I do NOW know how to recognize the relationships worth keeping. Keep it real, buddy!
July 14, 2009
I'm glad you enjoyed this review. The ex and I are talking a bit on the phone these days & it's not the easiest thing in the world to text or just talk with someone you can't be with. It's not always in black and white as far as what you should say or do in every given situation but I feel that you try to hold on tight even when aren't certain.
July 18, 2009
yeh, me and my ex also text and talk occasionally. We're still friends, and I guess I just want to get my copy of "cannibal holocaust" back...LOL!
July 20, 2009
That kinda sucks! So she took it out of spite or was she a diehard fan? Sorry bro. If you were in the area or I was visiting CA, we could watch this one. I have the Grindhouse double disc & used to have an import of this which either was stolen or somehow misplaced. I love that film. Funny that! I love some of most extreme films ever made but am actually one of the most kind creatures one would ever hope to meet. Life is curious, isn't it?
July 21, 2009
yeh, she took out of spite. It's ok, I managed to buy the new version. The Grndhouse double disc sounds real good but you lost it too? You know why kind people like extreme films...because we can appreciate them more!
July 21, 2009
No, I still have my Grindhouse version but I can't seem to find the import I bought back in 2004 which has been missing for like forever. Yeah, you are one of the few people in the world that I cna truly relate to when it comes to extreme cinema & that's pretty awesome. My ex stole Fast & The Furious but I was never much of a fan for this anywho so I could've cared less.
July 12, 2009
Awwwww, this review warms my heart :) And that chain letter that you posted is really thought-provoking, too.  I've lost too many people in my young life either through tragic events or just pure stupidity to take anyone for granted.  I'm just living and learning.

Great review.  Thanks for making me think about all this stuff  :)
July 14, 2009
Thanks again as always!!! I wasn't always sure I was making the right decisions in life or even giving every opportunity in life a chance to manifest. I am taking things more seriously these days for teh most part & re-evaluating a lot of relationships which faltered. I may not be able to piece every lost friendship back together necessarily but I do hope I can move forward with confidence & not make the same mistakes over again. I'm delighted you enjoyed the review & I hope it helps you. I'm still learning & I sincerely hope that I'm not taking things in my life for granted as nothing is trivial to me anymore.
July 11, 2009
I just loved your piece. Isn't it great to be able to write about subjects like this? Keep up the good work!
July 11, 2009
Thank you!!! I really enjoyed your piece as well & am grateful that you added this data point for us here to share. I had a good time putting together this piece & it means a lot to me that you loved it. Cheers!!
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I don't know about you but over the years I have found that it is getting increasingly difficult to maintain friendships.  We are all so darn busy!   There are so many obligations and distractions in our daily lives that sometimes we can forget those who are dearest to us.   I have decided that this is simply unacceptable.  From now on I am going to make my friends a bigger priority in my life.  This isn't rocket science.  I will take the time …
Quick Tip by . May 23, 2011
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"Your friends will know you better in the first minute you meet than your acquaintances will know you in a thousand years." ~ Richard Bach ~     
Quick Tip by . October 06, 2009
I couldn't be without my friends. Love these great Lunch reviews on friendship!
About the reviewer
Brian ()
I've spent years trying to make others happy & not really focusing on what's most important in my own life. Having said that, my own health & security are paramount so now I'm more … more
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Friendship is the cooperative and supportive relationship between people. In this sense, the term connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, affection, and respect along with a degree of rendering service to friends in times of need or crisis. Friends will welcome each other's company and exhibit loyalty towards each other, often to the point of altruism. Their tastes will usually be similar and may converge, and they will share enjoyable activities. They will also engage in mutually helping behavior, such as the exchange of advice and the sharing of hardship. A friend is someone who may often demonstrate reciprocating and reflective behaviors. Yet for some, the practical execution of friendship is little more than the trust that someone will not harm them.

How to Nurture a Friendship

A friend is someone who cherishes the special moments and memories of
life with another person. A friend is a trustworthy companion.

Friendship is a relationship which takes time to build. There are many
steps and stages to achieving a true friendship. However, one can think
building a friendship is like planting a garden.

For many people, planting a garden represents, devotion and
leisure. It takes patience to grow a garden, frustrations and
hardships are also involved in the process. Firstly the seed is
planted. The seed builds the foundation of a strong and stable
plant. It has to be taken care of and watered daily. Then the
shoots start sprouting, the ...
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