Long ago I realized that the biggest moments in one's life will cause the true colors of those around you to come out.
Some of the reactions and actions will surprise and delight you and solidify or create even stronger bonds. Others, sometimes those you have the greatest expectation for, will crush you with disappointment at their lack of support, empathy, effort or just plain selfish behavior.
This attitude is formed not from pessimism, as I'm extremely optimistic on life, but rather from living in a space of reality and realization that ultimately SOME family & friends - for whatever reason - will disappoint and that you don't truly know someone until you see how they respond to critical or life altering events.
Weddings. For all the joy they bring, there is inevitably disappointment from (some) bridesmaids, in-laws, family, groomsmen, even guests. I've never heard of a wedding without some drama like this.
Funerals - it is well documented that families are often ripped apart over the aftermath of the death of a loved one.
Babies. With all of the excitement of a new life coming into the world, there are often disappointments by those closest to you.
Those closest to you should be there for your big moments, not because you ask them to or they feel like they "have to" but because they wouldn't have it any other way. But, so often they forget how important it is, how you were there for them, and they just drop the ball.
As someone who is currently in the middle of family members dealing with weddings, funerals and new babies, I would say this. To those who are considering blowing off or not making your family member or close friend feel loved and special, put yourself in their shoes. How did it feel when people did those things to you? Do you remember how those people where there for your wedding, baby or loss? Shouldn't you try and rise to the occasion and reciprocate in some way the love and generosity?
The Monkey Blogger is big on Loyalty. I just wanted to put out into the ether that if you are one to expect much from others but do not feel the need to reciprocate the love, perhaps you should reconsider. Unfortunately, when it comes to major life events, once you really disappoint someone you can't undo it.
All the world would be well served by being a little more considerate when it really counts.