One of the very worst remakes I've ever seen. Not to mention, the dumbest monster movie I've seen in some time and that includes those horrible direct-to-video releases. Roland Emmerich isn't popular with intellectual film fans for a reason, folks!
Quite likely the worst film made for children that I've ever seen. Nothing spells family togetherness like gangsters, dog shit, and (literal) emasculation, right? Witness the deterioration of intelligence and good taste right here.
Overly long, overly expensive, overly bloated with stars, and overly mind-numbing. Quite possibly one of the most overrated films I've seen and easily one of the dumbest. Even the presence of a great cast couldn't save this alien movie from falling into the "films I'd never watch again" category.
Another extremely dumb, and somewhat offensive, remake. This one stars post-funny Adam Sandler and post-theft Winona Ryder. Not only do all the attempts at humor fall flat, but so does the love story and the supposed moral message.
Another offensive and stupid children's film. This time we still have all of the sexual innuendo and potty humor that one might expect, but add in a great cast, all of which should be ashamed of this film, and the end result is a film that I'd like to erase from my memory and the planet alike.
Obviously, you can't expect much from a film that's based on a video game, but this was an insult to fans of the game series as well as to fans of movies. Angelina Jolie may have a hot body, but this film left me cold as a corpse. Not only was there no real story or characterization, but the entire plot made about as much sense as a screen door on a submarine.
Totally and absolutely unoriginal. Far too derivative of films like "Star Wars" and books like "The Prydain Chronicles", this film fell into unbearable badness in the first cliched ten minutes. As a fantasy fan, this movie (and the book upon which it's based) is so redundant that it seems pointless to include it here, except that I'd like to warn others of the general lameness. Note to Rachel Weisz: Don't do the sequel, it's beneath you!
Thankfully, Spielberg decided not to direct this third film in the JP trilogy as it was even worst than the second. What went wrong? Well, there's the cheesy dialogue, the general repetitiveness of the story, the silly special effects (yes, those were pink and purple dinosaurs), and let's not forget that awful dream sequence with the talking velociraptor. Still, this film is watchable, which is more than I can say for many of the others on this list.
The first two films were hilarious and exciting, but this one somehow completely missed the target. Bad jokes, unoriginal action sequences, and a truly bizarre development with the bleoved Jack Sparrow character make this Johnny Depp's worst movie since "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory". And since when does leaving out vital information about a film's ending actually benefit the audience?
It's true, I could have added the entire series to this list and this was easily the best of the series, but that ain't saying much since it still makes me want to become an amnesiac after viewing it. If only the memory of this film would go as fast as the cars in it!