Kicks Just Keep Gettin' Harder to Find

JCVD is just what all the other reviews claim, it's a tour de force for Jean-Claude Van Damme The Actor. If you're renting this expecting anything at all in the way of action then you are going to be extremely disappointed because apart from the opening scene which turns out to be a scene from a movie he is supposedly filming, there is a total of two kicks, an elbow, and maybe a punch. I think that perhaps as Van Damme nears 50 he's realized that his career as an action star is living on borrowed time and that this film might serve as his calling card to the world of serious film-makers, at least in Europe. And it definitely does that in a most impressive fashion. With the making of this film the Muscles from Brussels proves himself to be undoubtedly the most talented thespian of all kwailo martial artists, and probably most Asian martial artists as well. Here he presents himself as amiable though world weary, down trodden, and scrambling to hold together the last vestiges of his fading career, and he does so very convincingly. It's been said that the most difficult thing for an actor to play is himself. If that's the case then Van Damme deserves an Oscar.

The film's plot concerns itself with Van Damme who has just returned to his native Belgium after a series of disasters in his life including but not limited to; a divorce from his latest wife which results in a nasty custody battle over his daughter who is embarrassed to be related to him and wants nothing to do with him, an agent who avoids him like the plague, mounting legal fees and tax problems which resulted in his credit cards being cancelled, and worst of all losing parts to the corpulent Steven Seagal. But things are about to get much worse. In an attempt to get some money to pay a cab driver JCVD walks into a post office/bank and becomes involved in a robbery. The robbers decide to take advantage of his presence (since the police immediately assume that Van Damme has snapped and is committing the robbery himself) and they use him to talk with the police negotiator on the telephone.  And the entire nation goes wild, or at least the locals go wild, and a large cheering crowd quickly gathers. If you want to know more you'll have to see it yourself.