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Conan the Destroyer (1984 film)

15 Ratings: 2.3
The 1984 sequel of the original Conan film starring Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Following CONAN THE BARBARIAN, Arnold Schwarzenegger returns as Robert E. Howard's warrior hero in action director Richard Fleischer's CONAN THE DESTROYER. First seen praying at a shrine, Conan and his sidekick, Malak (Tracey Walter), are inveigled … see full wiki

Director: Richard Fleischer
Genre: Sci-Fi, Fantasy
Release Date: 1984
MPAA Rating: PG
1 review about Conan the Destroyer (1984 film)

Ah the good ole days...

  • Oct 25, 2007
Pros: Fun!

Cons: I might be one of the few that thinks so.

The Bottom Line: If you’re looking for the same seriousness as Conan the Barbarian, sorry, but you’ll have to look elsewhere.

Plot Details: This opinion reveals minor details about the movie's plot.

I’ve had this movie for the longest time – it’s still hanging out in its original VHS style. Haha. I should go get the DVD I guess. Anyway, I was going to review Willow, and might do that next, but for right now, as I’ve been wanting to see this movie and it’s at home (I’m at college), I’ll settle for reviewing it. …Especially since I think it deserves a positive viewpoint.

Now a note before I really begin - I’ve never read the books so I can’t compare like some might. I have seen Conan the Barbarian, which was the first movie made, and though I admit it was good, I’ve always been a tad bit bored with it. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the story and all it has to offer, but it’s never been ranked up there as one of my favorites…maybe it was the pacing, I don’t know, but let’s move on now that I’ve rambled.

The Story:
As the sequel to Conan the Barbarian, the story starts up with Conan (Arnold Schwarzenegger) still mourning (or simply remembering) the woman he loved, Valeria. Apparently he has a little follower now, Malak, who is one of those thieves that just can’t keep his hands off shiny things. The two are minding their own business when a group of soldiers attack – though they seem bent on simply capturing the duo instead of killing them.

Conan then meets Queen Taramis. She informs him that if he helps her with something special, she will bring Valeria back to life. Sounds good, doesn’t it? Conan think so too, so he and Malak return to her palace where they learn they are to help a young girl, Princess Jehnna, find and return the Horn of Dagoth so that they might awaken the Dreaming God (and good times will be had by all).

On their travels they meet up with a few friends, a few odd people, and of course, some definite enemies. Before long Conan finds out there are a few catches to this little quest, and a lot isn’t as it seems.

My Thoughts?
I love this movie, I won’t lie. I’m one of the few out there who enjoys it. Here’s why.

Old school special effects are still awesome. I get tired of computer graphics all the time just for the simple fact that I know something has been computer generated. Where’s the fun in that? I like make up and prosthetics and suits and elaborate sets (like Taramis’s castle – unless that’s a real place somewhere). Besides, this was made in 1984 so try and remember what they had to work with. I’m 22 and I still like a lot of it over some of the computer generated stuff I’ve seen. What does that tell you?

Some of the dialogue. I know, I’ll admit that sometimes it’s corny, but it serves to amuse. Zula’s take on how to get a man is particularly interesting. I’m not looking for amazingly moving dialogue here – this isn’t Lord of the Rings. It’s an hour and forty minutes of action and adventure; I don’t think the writers were aiming for an Oscar. Oscars are overrated anyways.

There are a lot out there who think this movie totally sucks. Why? I think it’s a bit because they like the first movie better, and they’re taking this too seriously. I don’t, haha. Not at all. I look at this movie for its fun factor – it makes for a good diversion. Yes, I do enjoy a lot of the ideas behind it, such as the Dagoth god, the wizard fights, and that crazy monster in the ice fortress (sounds crazy already doesn’t it?). I don’t look for something to totally wow me – for the most part movies are for entertainment, and this entertains me. Even some of the things they come across I don’t think are so out of the question – after all, a man who can turn into a snake in the first movie? Hmm…

But in the end, you can make the decision for yourself whether or not to take a look see. Other reviews aren’t as, um, well, you can read them on your own, haha. I’ll leave you with a brief actor list and a few fun facts:

Zula ....Grace Jones - remember A View to a Kill? Yeah, she’s just as crazy in this movie, if not more so.
Bombaata .... Wilt Chamberlain – haha, yes, the basketball player!
Akiro 'The Wizard' .... Mako - YAY! He’s in Memoirs of a Geisha!
Malak .... Tracey Walter - who knew this little dude would go on with such a productive career? Too bad he got shot by the Joker in Batman. “Bob…gun.”
Queen Taramis .... Sarah Douglas – if you’ve ever watched Stargate SG-1 you might have seen her as a Toc’ra in a couple episodes (can you belive my mom pointed this out??)
Princess Jehnna .... Olivia d'Abo – she does some voice acting; happened to be the voice of Jane in the animated Tarzan series.
Pat Roach .... Man Ape/Toth-Amon – apparently was the Celtic Cheiftan in Robin Hood: Prince of Theives…that dude was crazy.
André the Giant .... Dagoth – I so never knew this until today!



Video Occasion: Better than Watching TV

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