[waking up after sharing the same bed on the motel] Neal: Del... Why did you kiss my ear? Del: Why are you holding my hand? Neal: [frowns] Where's your other hand? Del: Between two pillows... Neal: Those aren't pillows!
Clark Griswald: Ed, this is not the car I ordered. I distinctly ordered the Antartic Blue Super Sports Wagon with C.B. and optional rally fun pack. Ed, the car salesman: You didn't order the Metallic Pea?
Randy: Meatloaf, meatloaf, double beatloaf. I HATE meatloaf" Mother: Randy, how do the little piggies go? Randy: [oinks like a pig] Mother: That's right. Oink, oink! Now show me how the piggies eat. [points to his plate] Mother: This is your trough. Show me how the piggies eat. Be a good boy. Show mommy how the piggies eat. Randy: [plunges face into mashed potatoes, oinks, eats, and laughs] Mother: [laughs] Mommy's little piggie!
Lili Von Shtupp: Tell me, schatze, is it twue what they say about the way you people are... gifted? [sound of zipper opening] Lili Von Shtupp: Oh, it's twue. It's twue. It's twue, it's twue! Lili Von Shtupp: Would you like another schnitzengruben? Bart: No, thank you. Fifteen is my limit on schnitzengruben. Lili Von Shtupp: Well, then how about a little... [whispers in his ear] Bart: Baby, please! I am not from Havana. Lili Von Shtupp: Will I... see you again? Bart: Well, it all depends on how much vitamin E I can get my hands on.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Igor, help me with the bags. Igor: [Imitating Groucho Marx] Soitenly. You take the blonde, I'll take the one in the turban. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: I was talking about the luggage.
Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: What are they saying? Dr. Conrad: They are just saying 'murmur, murmur, murmur.' Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: You mean it's just sort of a general murmur? Dr. Conrad: Yeah. Murmur. Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: Oh. [to the crowd] Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr: You may *murmur* all you like. Crowd: [distinctly] Murmur, murmur, murmur, murmur, murmur.
[Sitting at the dinner table. Freddy as Ruprecht The Money Boy] Freddy Benson: Excuse me. May I go to the bathroom first? Lawrence Jamieson: Of course you may. Freddy Benson: [after a pause, and with relief] Thank you.