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Black Hole

2 Ratings: 0.0
A movie

The residents of St. Louis are in for quite a nightmare as a science-experiment-gone-wrong yields a monster and a black hole capable of swallowing up whole regions. Packed with special effects, BLACK HOLE follows the tense, action-packed hours in which … see full wiki

Release Date: 2006
MPAA Rating: PG
1 review about Black Hole

The Black Hole - 2006

  • May 31, 2009
Pros: fairly short movie

Cons: overall - everything

The Bottom Line:
“Have you fallen in a black hole?
Somewhere there's a universe of missing stuff”
~Wells, Goffin, Dioguardi

It’s been a turbulent weekend; volcanoes, meteors, and now The Black Hole. Actually, the concept of a black hole is rather interesting and frightening at the same time. I figure, with all my new knowledge, if any of these disasters hit I’ll know just what to do. I’ll be the one looking like a deer in headlights…eek~

We are in the heart of the Midwest, St. Louis, Missouri, and at the Midwestern Quantum Research Laboratory. God save us all but the two people assigned to save the world this time around are Judd Nelson and Kristy Swanson. Could life get any more bleak? Sure, add an errant electrical surge at the aforementioned MQRL that rips a hole in some pipes, radiation leaks out, and, oh, yeah, a black hole develops.

Now I had always thought a black hole was basically a void much like a shark. All it does is eat and eat and never give back. This one, however, has a gift in the guise of an electrical entity that has the vague shape of a human. Well, who knew? Black holes can be benefactors. Of course, it’s not a nice entity because it is dancing all over town eating up all the electrical sources and zapping a few people along the way. Not nicely either.

Meanwhile, down in the bowels of the MQRL, the hole grows exponentially in time to the electric eating entity. Dang if this isn’t turning into a problem but … here they come to save the day … the black helicopters show up. I have two questions: 1) why do they always refer to their troops as ‘ladies’ when they want to whip them into shape? Obviously it is because even the military realizes women are the stronger being; and, 2) why do they think a gun will kill anything? Really, shoot electricity? What’s that going to do? Just pondering.

Of course, they [they being the military] decide the only solution is to drop a nuclear bomb on St. Louis. Damn, bit drastic isn’t it? Ever hear of Godzilla folks?

This was directed by Tibor Takacs; written by David Goodin. No awards, general rating M or 16+ on IMDB.

Judd Nelson, sporting the weirdest hairdo in history, is no, pardon the pun, rocket scientist here kids. His role is barely bearable and Kristy Swanson, ditto. David Selby took on the role of General Ryker, both friend and foe to Nelson in the movie. Special effects were incredibly bad, dialogue bad, overall everything was bad.

DVD extras include: 17 minute “Exploring the Black Hole” which offers behind the scenes interviews.



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