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Lair of the White Worm

1 rating: 3.0
A movie directed by Ken Russell

In a remote corner of England's lavish Peak District, a mysterious skull is unearthed. But even more mysterious is the snakelike Lady Sylvia who steals the skull, then engages in erotic worship of her pagan god, The White Worm, who hungers for the taste … see full wiki

Director: Ken Russell
Release Date: 1988
MPAA Rating: R
1 review about Lair of the White Worm

Lair of the White Worm ~ naked ladies & big snakes

  • Dec 11, 2000
Rating:
+3
Pros: A strangely erotic movie, for those that enjoy naked painted ladies and huge white people eating snakes (don't fear unless you are a scantily clad virgin though)

Cons: Kinda bizarre

While this speaks of the worm, I think it is more a huge snake in question - and an ugly dude at that! Based in Scotland, we have an archaeologist digging in the backyard of the B&B where he is staying and remarkably finding a huge skull just a few feet under the ground - bosh! Add to that the local lord, played by Hugh Grant, whose ancestors purportedly offed the worm centuries ago - bosh! Oddly enough, this B&B is constructed over the site of a convent that was destroyed during the Roman occupation, leaving all occupants killed, perhaps haunting the grounds - bosh!

The B&B is run by two little ladies, Eve (predictable name) played by Catherine Oxenberg, and Mary (duh!) played by Sammi Davis. Their parents mysteriously disappeared on the "way home from the pub one night, just like they was swallowed up by the Earth". Eve is the paramour of Grant and supposedly a vestal virgin, so you know what is gonna happen to her. Mary, however, though appearing younger, seems to be the somewhat town tart, you know she will be safe!

Enter the mysterious stranger - sultry, sensual and scintillating Lady Sylvia Marsh (Amanda Donohoe) who returns to her property and all Hell breaks loose. Seems the lovely Lady Marsh has a venomous attitude and applies her trade quite well!

Hell, I didn't know what to expect when I started this movie. With a name like this, anything is possible, yet instead of ‘horror' I found it more in the ‘whorer' category. I had to check a couple of times to make sure the Cohen brothers weren't involved as there was possibly every phallic symbol possible in this release.

One time, in a dream sequence, Grant is on an airplane and Donohue and Oxenberg are the stewardesses in oh so revealing outfits, when they suddenly get into a ‘cat fight'. Grant, tied in his airline seat (this was a private jet of course) is holding a pen in his hands and every time you get a shot of the girls rolling about on the floor, the pen rises a few meters until it is fully ‘erect', centered over his ... ummmm .... you get the idea! This is just one of the many phallic innuendos that director Ken Russell inserts (oops!).

Surprisingly, this movie carries only an "R" rating, which I find amazing considering the nudity (Donohue in green body paint - goodness!), near nudity (Oxenberg in white virginal panties and bra suspended over the creatures lair - tantalizing!) , rape and murders of the nuns (guess they decided this was OK, since it was a dream sequence).

Often I found the movie to be somewhat interesting but for the most part I found it more laughable than scary, and certainly more laughable than interesting (except for that Donohue scene in the body paint - very interesting). Donohue played the part of a snake very badly, she had no natural movements in time to the music often seeming quite forced but oh, my goodness, she was hot, hot, hot in that black lace panties and bra and black leather thigh high boots! She did evil proud, I will give her that.

Hugh Grant was like 16 in this movie (kidding) and his performance showed it. His accent was so thick I couldn't always understand what he was saying but that didn't really matter because he often really had nothing notable to say. He was just along for ‘pretty' to offset the boorish, somewhat scruffy appearance of Peter Capaid, who plays the archaeologist and the burgeoning love interest to Mary.

This was actually adapted by Ken Russell (writer/director/producer) from a novel by Bram Stoker, who was also responsible for Dracula, but this was much more offbeat than Dracula every thought of being. I might even recommend you watch this movie, why not? There is enough fun and enough sex to keep everyone interested! A perfect monster movie!



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