You know. Zombies are funny creatures. They walk about for nothing; they have no purpose other than to feast on the living and possibly create new zombies with each bite. But ever since "Night of the Living Dead", and perhaps even before that, they have been both funny and sometimes frightening to watch walk our streets. "The Return of the Living Dead Part II" is not a zombie movie. It isn't even a horror movie. Hell, it's funny; but it's not even a comedy. There's something wrong here; something very wrong indeed, and I think it is that this movie stinks of its foul odor.
There wasn't anything worth liking. Whether the film's hilarity was intentional or not is not for me to say. It didn't feel like intentional camp to me; and I know what that feels like. Why am I always seeking shit like this out? I mean, I gave it a chance because I felt that the previous film, "Return of the Living Dead", was kind of clever. I gave it what it deserved; and I'll do the same for the ridiculously bad sequel. It's so bad that I almost want to run out and buy it so that I can expose those who I care about to its awfulness. Who knows? It might be fun for parties.
Some small children are playing near a cemetery when they accidentally let loose the very toxic gas that was present in the first movie. If you remember correctly, when released in the air, this "toxic gas" could wake the dead from their seemingly eternal slumber, reborn as what we call "zombies". This happens again; oh yes it does. And believe me, that's all there is to it.
The zombies walk the streets, there are a few central characters (some of which remind me of the characters from the original; this must have been intentional), and you better believe the story doesn't do much beyond that. In fact, "The Return of the Living Dead Part II" is a bore aside from its many scenes of dialogue; which are all, appropriately, hilarious. So maybe the word "boring" can't be applied without be sounding as ridiculous as the movie.
I can't deny that I was entertained, but man, this was still bad as hell. When your gore scenes aren't even enough to entertain; hell, when you don't even HAVE enough gore scenes for your movie to feel like a good entry for its genre, then you are in a lot of trouble. There's an audience, a sort of cult audience that might like the film for its corniness; I can't say I'm not in there somewhere.
"Part II" is ugly both visually and intellectually. It arrives with insanely lame dialogue and a lack of focus. It's being billed as a horror-comedy, but there's a difference between forced campy-humor and truly campy-humor. This certainly feels forced; very, very much so.
As one of the worst horror films I've ever seen to not be a revolting, despicable, artistically devoid exploitation picture that makes me want to run for the nearest door and keep on running, "The Return of the Living Dead Part II" might deserve some solid recognition. I'd watch it again if only to laugh, but I'll tell you this; for the most part, it's pretty unwatchable. That is unless you are with friends; you are drunk, stoned, high, on hallucinogenic drugs; whatever floats your damn boat. There are many ways to (possibly) enjoy a movie as horrible as this one, and I can't list all of them. Maybe you can just watch if for yourself and see. Or maybe you can avoid it and save yourself some time. Why filth like this is ever released, I'll never know; and thankfully...I don't want to know.
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