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Seven Minutes in Heaven

2 Ratings: 0.5
A movie directed by Linda Feferman

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Tags: Movies
Director: Linda Feferman
Genre: Comedy, Drama
Release Date: 1985.5.9
MPAA Rating: PG-13
1 review about Seven Minutes in Heaven

Yet it feels like three hours...

  • Oct 30, 2011
Rating:
-4
Like the more bombastic and obnoxious Three O'Clock High two years following, this sub-Hughesian piffle pioneered the now-dominant trend of comedic teen dramas bereft of engaging characters or plot twists. As emotive as a lumberyard, Jennifer Connelly plays a frigid student credulously obsessed with mainstream sociopolitical phenomena; by contrast, Maddie Corman (looking for all the world like one of the Currie sisters afflicted with Down syndrome) portrays her oversexed dingbat best friend. Both of them somehow tolerate the mutual friendship of Byron Thames, as perhaps the single most annoying figure in the history of cinema: a gutless, aggravating, terminally insecure beta male who apparently exists only to intrude perpetually. While Connelly hesitantly shuffles to first base with a philandering creep (Alan Boyce), Corman stupidly obsesses over a blithe baseball player (Billy Wirth) whose automotive fling couldn't be less sexy. Ultimately, nothing happens - character development is both minimal and predictable, and the film ends very much as it began.

Not merely an incompetent director (substandard performances aside, a boom mike once drops to cameo), Linda Feferman also proves herself as aimless as insipid a screenwriter. Ignore this garbage; it's Pretty in Pink sans compelling characterizations and  good story.

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October 31, 2011
LOL! entertaining write up...
October 31, 2011
Thanks. I suffered for nearly ninety minutes so that others might be briefly, mildly amused. Faith, this movie is horrid.
 
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