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Supergator

1 rating: -3.0
A movie directed by Brian Clyde

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Director: Brian Clyde
Release Date: 2007
MPAA Rating: Unrated
1 review about Supergator

Supergator - 2007

  • Mar 18, 2009
Rating:
-3
Pros: beautiful scenery and beautiful babes

Cons: the entire movie

The Bottom Line:
“I had a red raw steak can't find it anywhere
He looked at me and said,
What the hell do_I_care? come_on
Every other day I got a gator on my lawn”
~Tom_Petty

It’s been a while since I’ve joined company with Roger Corman but, unfortunately, we meet up once again with his simplistic Supergator. Stupidity like this takes me back to my Carnosaur days, with no love lost, believe me. Apparently, from what I’ve read, Corman wanted to do a sequel to his bomb, Dinocroc, but was met with disapproval. So he simply changes the name, using a gator instead of a croc, and gets his movie out there anyway. Shoulda stayed on the cutting room floor.

I will give it one thing, filmed entirely in Kauai, Hawaii, it is one beautiful look. And, in keeping with true creature features, we have our fair share of buffed babes in teeny bikinis [also thanks to Hawaiian weather] but no nudity and only underlying sexual overtones, no heavy breathing scenes … in fact, believe it or not, not really even a guy/gal situation in the entire movie. Now that’s rare for a creature feature.

Without further ado I give you Supergator

We have two competing stories here, the impending eruption of a volcano and the supergator that has escaped the lab. With two stories, we have two sets of hunters: first we have Scott and his minions, a group of volcanologists [I kept looking for Mr. Spock], and Kim and her croc hunter. Just let me scooty boot this information up front.

Scott is played by Brad Johnson in this movie. At 48, in real life, he ain’t a bad look. I wouldn’t kick him out or anything. Kim is played by Kelly McGillis who, at 50 in real life, girlfriend … WTF happened to you? Look at Tom Cruise and look at Kelly McGillis. Damn. They WERE in the same movie, right? Honey, I wouldn’t let you put your boots under my daddy’s bed and he accepted all boots. It’s been a long, hard, road for Kelly is all I’m saying. And, mind you, it wasn’t makeup. Back to the story.

So Scott drags along his TA, Ryan, a horndog if there ever was one, meeting up with Alexandra, the head volcanist for the area. He gets a surprise when Carla, a former student and now a reporter for the Times, joins the group. As part of an expedition to read the volcano and access an eruption time, this group seems to know little more than how to expel words that have no meaning outside the volcanic group. I might also comment on the fact that most of them are attired completely wrong for an expedition of this type.

On the other side of the mountain, Kim meets up with her croc hunter, a rather devilishly creature known as Jake Kilpatrick. He’s a wizened old fart, looking ever so much like Tommy Lee Jones until he opens his mouth and then all you can think of is Quint from Jaws fame. He tries to be Quint but falls a little short. Of course he is astounded as Kim tells him about the gator they will be chasing that was cloned from an extinct dinosaur gator creature’s jawbone and joined with a present day gator. In other words, we are bio-engineering once again to our detriment.

Oh, and did I mention the secluded island is hosting a supercalafragislistic luau? That there will be thousands in attendance with no way off the island? Just one more cliché in a swamp of cliches.

However, offsetting all this ridiculous scientific stuff you are treated to a plethora of bouncing babes in bitty bikinis with IQ’s much smaller than their breasts. Oh, and there is a photographer trying to channel one of Bronson Pichot’s characters with a highly stupid accent and characteristics.

Then there is the gator.

Give me a little playdoh and 15 minutes and I’ll build you that gator. The CGI work was deplorable. When he made a kill, or hit, it was like they exploded one of those paintball thingies. And the blood was a ridiculous shade of bright, brilliant, red. They reused the kill scenes over and over again. He never actually devoured any of his kills, simply chomping and leaving them. He ran on his tiptoes, no lie. Well, the very fact that he ran … never mind. Add the fact that he could fly. Well, nuf said about the lousy gator.

Acting was at an all time low with no believable characters at all. You didn’t care if anyone made it off the island except the gator, frankly. The cast included: Brad Johnson as Scott, Kelly [what the hell happened to you?] McGillis as Kim, Bianca Lawson as Carla, Mary Alexandra Stiefvater as Alexandra, Josh Keyy as Ryan and John Colton as Jake. Oh, and Holly Weber as the pink clad bikini babe that runs forever in the forest.

Directed by Brian Clyde. Awards? You gotta be kidding. Rating not listed but I’ve gotta give it a heavy R for gore, violence, drinking, drug references, and stupidity. Insipid music by Damon Ebner. It was so bad IMDB didn’t bother to list goofs, their data base probably isn’t large enough.

Thanks,
Susi

You can thank Millinocket for adding this to the database so you could read this

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