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A Nice Place to Live But I Wouldn't Want to Visit There

  • Jul 25, 2009
THE COTTAGE is a great place to live but I certainly wouldn't want to visit because, as the villagers warn, strangers don't do very well around there. This film is a perfect example of how to make a horror film: take 1 part droll British humor, add 2 bumbling criminals, blend in 1 foul mouthed kidnap victim, pour in several gallons of bodily fluids (preferably red), and then hack, slash, rip, rend, slice and dice with everything from knives to rakes, shovels,and pick-axes until you think you've seen all the viscera there is to see--and then add that nice little surprise twist at the end. That's what I call entertainment!

The plot involves streetwise David (played by Andy Serkis) and his milquetoast brother Peter (Reece Shearsmith) who when we meet them at the titular location are in the process of unloading a young woman they have just kidnapped for purposes of ransom. She is not happy. And she let's them know it at every opportunity. This girl has a mouth on her that sewer's would envy. And she's vicious too as Peter's, well, peter finds out the hard way  on several occasions.  What starts out as a none too simple kidnapping quickly escalates into a comedy of terrors as the girl's stepfather learns of their location and sends hit men after them. Unfortunately for the hit men  find out that there are worse things out and about than them!

In a mere 91 minutes of unrated glee and gore, writer/director Paul Andrew Williams has fashioned an entertaining and rather original film that embraces several different genres as it rushes giddily towards its climax. This is not what I would normally think of as my kind of film were I reading a synopsis of it somewhere, but when all is said and done THE COTTAGE turned out to be just what I was looking for.
Highly recommended. Very nearly a 5.
A Nice Place to Live But I Wouldn't Want to Visit There A Nice Place to Live But I Wouldn't Want to Visit There A Nice Place to Live But I Wouldn't Want to Visit There A Nice Place to Live But I Wouldn't Want to Visit There A Nice Place to Live But I Wouldn't Want to Visit There A Nice Place to Live But I Wouldn't Want to Visit There

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December 24, 2010
I loved this one
July 30, 2009
This was a pretty entertaining flick. I was actually a tad surprised at how much I liked it as well. Great review!
July 30, 2009
I would have thought this was a natural for you.
July 30, 2009
I thought the film was definitely watchable & it had some very funny moments but somehow it lacks something even though I do really like it. I think 4 stars is a very fair rating though all things considered.
July 30, 2009
It's not a 5 star flick to me either, but 4 stars is nothing to sneeze at and its well worth watching. For me a 4 star film may be well worth owning, although I don't see me ever buying this one. If someone gave me a copy I'd probably watch it again and then trade it in at the used dvd store down the street.
July 30, 2009
I had found a used copy at one of the local stores in my hometown for under $5. I did exactly as you mentioned. I watched it once or maybe twice and then sold it. Thankfully, I didn't really lose much money. It would've prolly cost about that much to rent it from Blockbuster. I didn't see myself watching it over & over either.
July 30, 2009
July 26, 2009
Happy to be the first one here! nice review, Karen. I have had this in my list for awhile now. A friend of mine said that this was one great horror film, and your review verifies his comments. I will have to bump this up in my queve...
July 26, 2009
Its pretty good and for me to say that really means something since its the type of flick that usually leaves me cold. Its sort of like SHAUN OF THE DEAD meets WOLF CREEK.
More The Cottage reviews
review by . July 24, 2010
posted in Movie Hype
      THE COTTAGE      This is absolutely one of the funniest movies I have seen in a while mainly because of the humor mixed with the gore. That is one of the best combos of all time and I wish more films like this were being made. This is a really fun flick that I am sure any one who watches it would enjoy; so far every one I know liked it. Looking at the case you would think this is a straight horror movie but this is more so a comedy more than any thing …
Quick Tip by . September 22, 2010
posted in Movie Hype
Even if you aren't a fan of hack 'em up flix ( and normally I'm not) THE COTTAGE is something special. It's a comedy of course, most films I recommend tend to be comedies, but it's not the zany splat schtick comedy we've become accoustomed to in the past couple of decades. It's a quiteter, more decidedly British type of humor. But don't take that to mean that the film skimps when it comes time to dole out the torture because it doesn't. Its protagonists suffer …
Quick Tip by . May 01, 2010
posted in Movie Hype
If you want a good gory time, then this is the movie for you! Truly great cringe inducing comedic horror.
About the reviewer
karen ()
Ranked #17
I am the poster child for inertia. Where ever I am is where I plan to stay FOREVER.   So much so in fact that it took me decades to understand the punchline about why   the chicken … more
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