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WHY CAN'T WE GIVE ZERO STARS????

  • May 22, 2003
  • by
Rating:
-5
Just a dreadful movie in virtually every conceivable way.

The setup: Many years ago, in the town of Darkness Falls (yeah, right, a town is going to name itself THAT!!!), a rich, kindly elderly woman gave money to children who came to her with their missing teeth...earned nickname "Tooth Fairy." Later, woman is horribly disfigured in a fire, and is seldom seen, and if she is, she's wearing a porcelain mask. When some kids go missing, the Tooth Fairy is blamed and promptly lynched by the town, who, as the ultimate humiliation, also tear off her mask, exposing her horrible injuried for the world to see. Later, the children are found safe and sound, but by then, she has cursed the children of Darkness Falls. If, when she comes to collect their last tooth, a child sees the Tooth Fairy, they will be killed, unless they always stay in the light. She hates that light, see.

Oh my. But even if one accepts the silliness of this device, perhaps we'll get some decent chills along the way? Well, no. We first meet our lead character, whose name I don't remember a mere hour after enduring the movie, when he manages to see the Tooth Fairy as a child. His mother is killed and he is blamed (for NO good reason) and taken to an asylum, where he spends some amount of years hiding in the light and having a hard time sleeping...you'd think you might get used to sleeping with some lights on, but what do I know?

Years later, another boy is in the same situation, only this time, his much older sister (who happens to be the lead characters' long-ago sweetheart) drags our lead character back to Darkness Falls to "help" her troubled younger brother. Naturally, no one believes these two sufferers of the tooth fairy curse, but everywhere they go, the tooth fairy swoops down and takes another victim.

The movie is PG-13, so the killings are pretty tame, and pretty much the same. Tooth Fairy can sorta fly, so she usually drops on her victim and then up into the air with them she goes. Naturally it's always dark when she does this, so we don't see any of it very clearly. But no one cares anyway.

At one point in the movie, we meet our adult male lead, now living far away from Darkness Falls, and we see that he's got drawings all over his wall of a porcelain faced figure. When he sees that the little boy has also drawn a similar figure, he apparently decides to make it his life's mission to save the boy. What is it in horror movies that the hero so often draws sketches of the "horrible" thing they've seen. If I saw something horrible, I wouldn't be able to sketch it...can't draw worth a hill of beans. Or maybe being scared would make me artistic? Or maybe only artistic people get scared? This is such a cliche, and in this film, if falls even flatter than usual.

Mostly the movie involves every one running around, trying to stay in light and shooting guns at her...to no effect. Nearly everyone dies and we, the viewer, are unable to muster up even one ounce of concern or caring. The movie generates not one smidgen of tension. And there is no humor, either...it takes itself VERY seriously. Everyone involved in the movie: director, screenwriter, actors (all unknown to me), cinematograher, editor, scorer have NO business in show business!!!

(The only worse horror I have seen is FEAR DOT COM, which is equally incompetent, but I hate even more because some of the cast members are actually good actors (usually) and because the movie is so ICKY.) DARNESS FALLS is a GREAT way to fall asleep early. Avoid it at all costs!!!!

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More Darkness Falls (Special Editio... reviews
review by . October 23, 2012
posted in Movie Hype
THE TOOTH FAIRY LOOKS COOL
   Trailer         DARKNESS FALLS       The thing about this film is that it had a wonderfully great idea; this could have been a classic. Unfortunately for viewers the filmmakers didn't execute it right; I guess we have to take what we get. With that being said 2 exec. Producers, 3 writers, 4 producers, & 1 director later we have this attempt at a mainstream film. Not to say it doesn't have its moments. I was very pleased …
Quick Tip by . October 23, 2012
posted in Movie Hype
The thing about this film is that it had a wonderfully great idea; this could have been a classic. Unfortunately for viewers the filmmakers didn't execute it right; I guess we have to take what we get. With that being said 2 exec. Producers, 3 writers, 4 producers, & 1 director later we have this attempt at a mainstream film. Not to say it doesn't have its moments.
review by . September 07, 2007
The un-scariest movie I have ever seen! It's about the tooth fairy! It's a bad movie about a stupid story involving the tooth fairy. Seriously, who is afraid of the tooth fairy?!! This is worse than "Boogeyman".
review by . October 08, 2003
posted in Movie Hype
"Darkness Falls" is the type of movie that flies in under the radar and hits you with some nice surprises. It's kinda spooky, kinda scary and kinda silly all at once. First of all, it relies on the fact that we all know about the tooth fairy. Then it takes that fact, whips it into a frenzy and turns the sweet ol' tooth fairy into one wicked you know what. The story falls before you like an old fashioned horror flick that relies more on camera angles, suspenseful music and the "potential" for danger. …
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I've got my own site, www.afilmcritic.com, on which I'm posting my reviews. I am 46 years old, married 25 years, two kids (23 & 18) and currently work in accounting/finance. I spent 15 years … more
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Wiki

Humanity's fear of the dark providesDarkness Fallswith some anxiety and fuels some jolts of fear from things popping out of nowhere. A kindly woman, who used to give children gold coins in exchange for their lost baby teeth, was hanged for a murder she didn't commit; in her last moments she laid a curse on the town (which has the unlikely name of Darkness Falls). So over the years the ghost of this woman has murdered various children because they saw her when she came to collect their teeth. In the present day, a boy who evaded her clutches returns to town as an adult in order to help the young brother of his childhood sweetheart--and from there this incoherent, inane movie is one long chase sequence without a glimmer of imagination or intelligence.--Bret Fetzer
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DVD Release Date: September 2, 2003
Runtime: 86 minutes
Studio: Sony Pictures

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