Godzilla movies rating scale: 3 out of possible 10 - running a close second to Godzilla vs Monster Zero. With that - on to the tale..............Featured in this release we have Godzilla, Megalon, Jet Jaguar, Gigan, a whiny little kid and all the inhabitants of Seatopia (you'll find out why later).
Godzilla is the usual Godzilla from Toho Studios, featuring his outstanding roar, his lousy trumpet music announcing his arrival, his sweet little dance, perky ears, beady eyes, bad breath and glowing spines. He has a new super power this time since his tail is now longer than it has been for several episodes. He can rear back on his tail like a Kangaroo and fly forward, thumping the opposing monster with his huge feet. Will his development ever end? He does a really cute backward run (stumbling, bumbling along) to gain his momentum before the rears back and launches himself.
Jet Jaguar is a robot designed by one of the heroes in the movie. In original form he is normal height (5-6 feet), but when he confronts Megalon and Gigan, he expands his powers and raises to about, oh I don't know, 200 feet tall. He is a nice day-glo orange with silver and blue trim, he has a silver metal head that resembles The Coneheads. His super powers, besides growing taller, include flying and shooting rays from his eyes. note: reported that Jet Jaguar resembles Japan's Ultraman so closely, there were a few copyright laws investigated. end note He is capable of speaking in sign language to Godzilla and is his partner in this episode.
Megalon is, ummmm, Jesus, I'm stuck here. Ok, take a fly head, add pinchers on the side of the head, add a mandible - rather a multi-mandibles - mouth, insert a drill bit in the top of the head, put the head on a metal beetle like body that is yellow and black spotted. You have the basics for Megalon. Then add his features - his arms appear to be encased in some type of metal housing and his hands/paws look like metal triangles. His body is armor covered as are his legs. In all, a terrible monster. He leaps like a frog as well as walks, his powers include the drill bit in his head (well, duh!), which also doubles as a unit that shoots out rays and fire, he can fly, he can also shoot firebombs out of his mouth. In all, a versatile monster.
Gigan is a horrid monster. He looks like a big metal bug with a shovel shaped head, a huge beak of a mouth, one large horn on top his head, one huge red eye, bat-like wings, huge silver hooks for hands and pinchers around his beak mouth. His powers include flight, rays that shoot from his eye, and (saving this for last) a circular saw that comes out of his tummy - not playing with you here, truth!
Seatopia - this group deserves special note. The Emperor of Seatopia (Robert Dunham) appears in a silver diaphanous toga like garment with some type of headband on and white TIGHTS (please), kneels (on one knee only of course) at the base of some statue and calls forth Megalon. His appearance alone should have made a monster attack him, geez, he is horrible! But wait, it gets worse - there are 6 sprites in silver bras and panties with a gauzy silver overdress thing and silver crowns, similar to the conehead thing again. They dance and weave around the base of the statue until the Emperor begins his speech then stand humbly by with hands folded with a look of awe on their faces.
Whiny kid - only mention him because he is the Japanese male equivalent to that irritating brat girl in the Pepsi commercials. There was no point in this movie that I didn't pray any or all of the monsters would grab him up, mangle his body and eat him alive, spitting his bones back into the ocean..
Did I mention a movie? The premise of the movie is the Seatopians are huffed because the nuclear testing has destroyed portions of their city (it is under water, hence their name), and their population is diminishing. To offset this problem, they are calling forth Megalon, their God, to destroy Tokyo and end the testing. In addition, I feel they are hoping to kidnap a few winsome ladies to further their species but this end of the story isn't fully developed except in my mind.
Meanwhile, on land, the hero has developed Jet Jaguar, a neat little robot, for reasons that are never disclosed either, but they are all good reasons, I'm sure. Jet Jaguar goes forth to fight Megalon. In another part of the world (Monster Island - God I love the Japanese!), Godzilla hears the pleas of the Japanese (apparently he has developed super hearing at some point) and comes to their rescue and joins forces with Jet Jaguar. Somewhere along the way, Gigan is called forth by Megalon, as well, and joins forces with him against the other two.
The effects.....we have special effects! Special effects are particularly good in this release. Not the monsters, please do not confuse the monsters with special effects! There are some decent explosion scenes and fire scenes, decent Tokyo destruction scenes. We don't visit Mt. Fuji this time (gasp) but destroy a really huge dam. Megalon really does a number on this dam. You get the gratuitous army attempt at blowing up the monsters again, but this time they don't bother trying that electricity thing since Godzilla is fighting for them.
At one point, when all four monsters are in heated battle, they get in a circle and do that dance - I think it is the Jewish wedding dance, or the Russian one, you know where they hold the handkerchief and dance sideways? Well, sans hanky, we have the same thing here - monsters doing the old two step - priceless! After Godzilla and Jet Jaguar dispatch Megalon and Gigan they turn to each other and high five' each other, nod heads, and stroll off into the sunset - awwww!
Moral of the story - people who live in paper houses shouldn't play with monsters!
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Susi Dawson (SusiDee34)
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