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Machete

A 2010 film directed by Robert Rodriguez and Ethan Maniquis.

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¡NINGUNA DELICADEZA EN ABSOLUTO!!!!

  • Sep 6, 2010
Rating:
+5

As this movie starts, you know subtlety is not it's strong point if a point at all.  Danny Trejo and some sidekick are cops who are being warned not to go after a kidnapped girl in a drug lord's house.  Trejo ignores this command by crushing the radio with his hand.  Going full speed in some decepit looking sedan, and heres where this movie shows off that deficency in subtlety.  Storming the house by ramming the car through the front, three guards with automatic rifles pepper the car with lead, the car kills the guards but the guards kill turn the sidekick into bloody swiss cheese-but thats not the outragous part, Trejo-known as Machete proceeds to kill and behead with said blade more guards inculding the HAND of a guard and uses a revolver with chopped off hand attached to shoot more guards but THAT isn't the outrageous part, spins like a cyclone and beheads MORE guards in bloody fashion but NO still not the outrageous part, he then casually walks in on a nude and nubile hostage but THEN the outrageous part comes, the girl gets a call on her cell phone.

"But if shes nude, where was she keeping the cell ph...............................oh."

Indeed.  You just saw bloody shooting, beheadings and violence and it's THAT scene that stunned me.
This movie is great.

Machete is for sure on par with The Expendables for most awesome movie of the summer.  NO I didn't say the best movie or most dramatic movie or movie that you need 3 braincells to figure things out and then award Oscar noms to, I said most awesome movie.  From head to toe Machete has Robert Rodriguez's talents to the hilt and using movie tough guy Danny Trejo as the lead in this movie about corrupt senators, illegal immigration and boatloads of action with plenty of foxy girls like Jessica Alba and Michelle Rodriguez kicking butt in action scenes along with Lindsay Lohan as a slutty daughter of a senator's aide who spends most of her time getting wasted and acting like a slattern.  I'm sure theres a joke to be made there.

Entertained?  YES!  If you like your action fast and gory then this is your movie.  If you want love and romance, high drama and high emotion then you are in the wrong movie friend.  Action, fast furious and take no prisoners.  As sure as Danny Trejo's face looks like a worn catcher's mitt and whose breath reaks of hard booze by the end of this movie after all that goes down, YES this movie is action and is you like that I'm sure you will be entertained.

This movie, as soon as I saw a commerical for it, I knew what it was, what it would have and that I was going to see it.  I walked out of the theater happy knowing it didn't rob me or lie to me since it was exactly what it said on the tin.

This movie is out now and with a big name director and cast that includes Robert DeNiro and Jessica Alba, you can be sure it will stay mainstream.

This is a +5 for me.  I wanted action it gave me action.  It didn't try and sneak things in under the table and while you can make points about the Mexican Illeagal Immigration issue and drug trafficking, the point characters make is that the there is a law, but those laws are set up by the failed system that failed the people and before you go making a point out of that, just remember that the final shoot out includes a gang of bubba redneck Americans in camo and Humvees facing down a fleet of Mexican day laborers in low riders complete with gaudy sparkle paint jobs and armed with weedwhackers and hoes.  SUBTLE!!

At 66, Danny Trejo rocked this movie and tole me how many other great movies he could have helmed had he been the star.  Machete will be back and I will be back to see him in theatres saying "Hi Machete!"

Unless of course I was Jessica Alba, then it's "Match - et - AY."
 

¡NINGUNA DELICADEZA EN ABSOLUTO!!!!

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October 10, 2010
Another great review and I agree, 5 very fun stars. I loved Seagal in this one.
October 10, 2010
Seagal has been AWOL from major motion pictures for 8 years and he comes back in his first bad guy role. Crazy.
 
September 08, 2010
Man, I keep hearing about that... *ahem* cell phone scene.  This movie sounds totally rad.  Thanks for sharing, John!
September 08, 2010
I never heard of the scene till I saw it. Course the movie was only out for 3 days when I saw it. If you like over the top nonsense action, this movie is it. I almost put this in the Awesome community.
 
September 07, 2010
Oh, yeah! Love your line about the cell phone LOL! This was real fun and quite interesting as to how Rodriguez made Trejo the lead and surrounded him with fabulous looking women! Nice review! You actually liked this more than I did, and I liked it a lot... ;)
September 07, 2010
Oh yeah, 2010 is shaping up to be the movie of over the top action movies. Sure theres Inception, and sadly there is Twilight but The Expendables and Machete rule and remind me of good action in a day thats gone but with these films keeping the pilot light lit. I hope I got the proper butchering of Jessica Alba's pronunciation of "Machete" correct too.
 
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More Machete reviews
review by . September 05, 2010
posted in Movie Hype
MACHETE Kills and Kills Again...But Machete Doesn't
Those who remember the “Grindhouse Double-feature” in 2007 directed by Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez may remember the fake trailer called “Machete”. Well, what began as a mere gimmick has been adapted to a full-length motion picture and may be the film that makes 66 year-old Danny Trejo into a new star. Rodriguez’s latest film isn’t pretentious, it is a tribute to the ‘grind house films’ in the 70’s with loads of action, violence and …
review by . April 16, 2011
posted in Movie Hype
*** out of ****     Born of a fake trailer and made by the original craftsman, Robert Rodriguez's "Machete" has finally, and recently, released. Before you start reading my two cents on this thing, let me tell you this: read all kinds of reviews for this movie. Some will like it; some will love it; and some will just plain despise it. This is a tasteless, violent, and potentially offensive film that may come off as racist and stereotypical to some, but then again, both things …
review by . September 02, 2010
posted in Movie Hype
Machete Review
   So I managed to watch this for free at an advanced screening (and get lucky seats at the back of the theater. After a few promo giveaways and the film starts... You will probably not blink a single minute of the film...      Here's a backstory to Machete. If you watched Grindhouse and saw the fake trailer, you probably didn't realize that it was gonna be a real movie. Well it is and it follows that similarity from the trailer.      Basically, …
review by . September 05, 2010
posted in Movie Hype
In 2007 when Grindhouse was released there was a mock trailer for a film called Machete that played.  Apparently Robert Rodriguez liked the idea so much he decided to make it a full blown movie.  This is exactly what you're getting.  If you saw Grindhouse in 2007 (all four of you) then you should know what you're getting.  The movie is crazy violent.  It's over-the-top... it's wholly implausible and makes about as much sense as a mouse eating an elephant.  …
review by . September 27, 2010
posted in Movie Hype
   There was a film last year that I appreciated quite a bit that was even nominated for an Oscar for Best Picture, Quentin Tarantino’s Inglourious Basterds, which didn’t quite make fun of the action genre in the same way Robert Rodriquez’s Machete does, but in the same way both films incorporate a tone in the violence, a sheer thrill and recklessness of what blade is going where, who’s firing what gun, and what 66 year old former prisoner is riding an explosion …
review by . September 04, 2010
posted in Movie Hype
There's no question that Robert Rodriguez's MACHETE is a lot of "guilty pleasure" fun. There's a visceral pleasure to be had from a guy as outstandingly scary looking as Danny Trejo wielding a machete and severing heads and limbs, disemboweling bad guys and general leaving a trail of carnage in his wake.     All of these things were promised in the fake trailer for MACHETE which was presented prior to the start of GRINDHOUSE, the wonderfully crazy experience crafted by Rodriguez …
review by . October 10, 2010
posted in Movie Hype
I KNOW I AM LATE WITH THIS BUT.......
      MACHETE      As any one who knows me can tell you I am a huge Quentin Tarantino fan and a huge Robert Rodriguez fan, so naturally I love their work. This film being another Grindhouse type film especially since it was based on a trailer for that film is really fun. Any one who does not like violence, naked women, and violence should stay away. Also add in that I am a huge Steven Seagal fan and that this film was filmed here in Austin Texas, you know …
review by . September 30, 2010
posted in Movie Hype
Having seen Grindhouse, I remember seeing a funny trailer for a movie called Machete.  I am not sure how the actual movie came about: whether this was an actual trailer or Rodriguez decided to make it due to positive comments on the trailer.  Anyway, I had been trying to find time to see this and I just saw it today in an empty theater.  I could not understand why since this film is one of the best action films I have seen in a long time!      …
Quick Tip by . February 09, 2011
posted in Movie Hype
No one makes a sleazy, fun, action-packed grindhouse homage quite like Robert Rodriguez and this film is perhaps his best film since "Desperado". Certainly not for the queasy or for people concerned with political correctness, "Machete" delivers on explosive action, edgy humor, some cheap thrills, and lots of gore. This is the kind of film that if taken seriously could be considered not only as offensive due to its exploitative depictions of violence and sex, but it comes off …
Quick Tip by . January 09, 2011
I give MACHETE a single star, and that's mostly b/c I can enjoy a quality B flick as much as the next cinophile. Mostly, I thought the film needed a few more weeks at the writer's desk before they put it before the cameras; clearly, it was a rushed production hoping to capitalize on the political arguments regarding legal and illegal immigration, and there's nothing wrong with that. After the first 20 minutes (or so), the film finally settles into its over-the-top farcical tone, and, from that point …
About the reviewer
John Nelson ()
Ranked #5
Born in Wausau Wisconsin. Move at an early age to Ventura California and lived for 8 years. Growing up in a big city landscape didn't prepare me for my next move: Archbold Ohio with a population of … more
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Wiki

Machete is a 2010 action horror film, directed by Robert Rodriguez and Ethan Maniquis. The film stars Danny Trejo in his first lead role as the title character. The film also stars Michelle Rodriguez, Cheech Marin, Lindsay Lohan, Don Johnson, Jessica Alba, Steven Seagal, Robert DeNiro, Jeff Fahey, and Cheryl Chin. The film is an expansion of a fake trailer Rodriguez directed for the 2007 film Grindhouse and centers around the character of Machete Cortez, who previously appeared as the uncle of the protagonists in the Spy Kids films. Filmed in autumn 2009, the film was released in the United States on September 3, 2010 by 20th Century Fox.
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Details

Genre: Action, Crime
Release Date: September 3, 2010
MPAA Rating: R
Screen Writer: Robert Rodriguez
Studio: 20th Century Fox, Overnight Productions, Hyde Park Entertainment, Troublemaker Studios
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