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My Bloody Valentine

1981 film directed by George Milhalka

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A bloody boring time.

  • Dec 24, 2011
Rating:
-3
*1/2 out of ****

If my idea of fun consisted of corny dialogue, choppy plotting, and mediocre editing; then "My Bloody Valentine" would be a personal favorite in the field of simple-minded, guilty entertainment. Too bad my idea of fun almost never includes any of those three things; I can let all logic go and have a good time with certain films if there is enough craft, but like most 80's slasher flicks that use their axes and machetes rather than their brains; the intent is not exactly to give the educated or morally respectable an engaging flick. The aim was without-a-doubt to provide something brainless, witless, and completely unoriginal. Well, look at that; they succeeded.

Since it's a slasher picture, it must have a villain in the form of a serial killer or some such psychopath. In this case, he/she is Harry Warden; infamous in the mining town of Valentine Bluffs (located somewhere in Canada). Warden found himself trapped underground in a mine on the job when two of his co-workers weren't. He was stuck there for a few good days without food and without much good air to breath; he survived by eating his co-workers, an act which eventually lead to madness.

He spent a year in a mental institution and then escaped; murdering and eventually ripping out the hearts of victims who were not on his "good side", thus creating his legend. Some years later, the town is holding a Valentine's Day Party; something that, by legend, they are apparently forbidden to do. But the local young men and women are not so aware of the consequences that the said morbid tale might have on them; especially when Warden is still on the loose and hungry for blood.

And so he starts the killing; and leaves nothing to suspense. "My Bloody Valentine" begins and ends with an on-going string of murders, some of which include: death by laundry machine, death by boiling pan of hot water, and countless deaths by pick-axe, which happens to be our friend Harry Warden's weapon of choice. The film follows the slasher flick formula rather strictly; with Warden serving his purpose of being a rampart killing machine, as appropriately promised - and his victims providing the bloodshed and primal rage of the villain. If you're a fan of the genre and don't mind some major flaws; you might just enjoy this one. A lot of genre fans certainly appear to.

My problem with "My Bloody Valentine" is not that it's generic (which it is); it's that there is no room left for surprises. The film lives off its own formula; from the predictable characters to the cheesy acting, all the way to the desolation that is felt when a horror film lacks genuine horror. Provided, the predictability of the story and just about everything else could certainly mean a wild, fun-filled ride for some; but I'm just not feeling it, at all. I wanted to enjoy myself, but the problems were, to say the least, excessively unavoidable.

I've certainly seen worse slasher films; and I've seen better ones. My favorites include "Halloween" and "Black Christmas"; the first one which I love for its protagonist (who is not as dumb as most women in slasher pictures) and its scare factor, and the other which I admire for its ability to embrace the corny, stereotypical characters ("Black Christmas" was about a sorority house filled with "sisters" who were being hunted down one-by-one by a discreet madman who made obscene phone-calls). This one might have made my list if it had been, oh you know, interesting. But is there really anything interesting about a movie when all its got going for it as high points are a good cinematographer, a good setting, and some pretty whacky kill scenes? Not to me there isn't.

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January 08, 2012
Annusya and I are enjoying festive horror flicks during their subject holidays of late: a thousandth viewing of Halloween, one pleasantly satisfactory Black Christmas and an amusing, embarrassed giggle at New Year's Evil. This title is next on our schedule, and that I barely remember it certainly doesn't recommend it any more than your review, but I'm hoping it'll yield more fun for me than it did for you. Nonetheless, thank you for another warning!

That the popularity of Kevin Shields' noise-rock outfit far surpassed and outlasted that of its namesake (as well as most of their buzzfucking/shoegazing contemporaries) is no small source of pleasure to he, Butcher, Ciosoig, et al.!
 
December 25, 2011
I guess you and cenobite7 are on opposite sides of the fence on this one.
 
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More My Bloody Valentine reviews
review by . May 19, 2009
Falling In Love All Over Again
I must be going through some kind of lovesick phase lately but it's a really good feeling when you think about it. It's kind of like re-living an old forgotten love affair only even better. Much better. Well, let's hope for the best here....I've been following the blogs online for the re-release of MY BLOODY VALENTINE on DVD for awhile now & it would seem that hardcore fans like myself are finally getting what we really wanted all along. Hey, what's the world coming to if you can't get what …
review by . April 23, 2009
My Bloody Valentine takes place in a small coal mining town.  But this towm has a nasty little secret that happened on Valentine's Day.  A deranged sweethearts' killer ruined this minor holiday for a generation.  Years later, the youngster decide to hold a celebration but the local authorities put a kibosh on the party.  Hey, let's go party down in the mine and see if an old boogeyman comes back to stalk us!    An eighties slasher …
About the reviewer
Ryan J. Marshall ()
Ranked #3
It's very likely that the only kind of reviews I'll ever post here are movie reviews. I'm very passionate about film; and at this point, it pretty much controls my life. Film gives us a purpose; … more
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Wiki

My Bloody Valentine is a 1981 Canadian slasher film released in the wake of the popularity of the slasher genre that had overtaken the 1970s. Considered an example of the low-budget cult films reminiscent of popular slasher films such as Halloween (1978) and Friday the 13th (1980), the movie was filmed on location in Sydney Mines, Nova Scotia Canada.

The movie is infamous for having had 9 minutes cut by the MPAA due to the amount of violence and gore. Though co-producer Dunning confirmed that the excised footage still existed, attempts to release it proved difficult as Paramount Pictures refused to offer an uncut version. Lionsgate subsequently secured DVD rights to the film (as well as several other Paramount features) and released the uncut version on January 13, 2009.

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