My God, What A Mess!

Here’s a sequence from the new Pirates of the Caribbean flick:

Penelope Cruz is Angelica, and Ian McShane is Blackbeard her father.  Johnny Depp is, of course, Jack Sparrow (there should be a captain in there somewhere.) They are searching for the Fountain of Youth.  Depp leads the way, but they come to a giant, uncrossable chasm.  For some unexplained reason, someone must jump into the chasm.  Cruz volunteers, but McShane says no – Depp must do it.  Depp balks, and McShane says, “jump, or I’ll shoot…her.”   Depp says “You wouldn’t shoot your own daughter, would you?”

So far so good (except for the whole unexplained chasm thing.)  But then McShane, instead of shooting or backing down, calls for his henchmen to bring him six guns, two of them loaded.  Depp must choose two guns that McShane will fire at Cruz, ostensibly so that her blood is on his hands, and not on her father’s.  The first gun is empty.  The second one isn’t.  Meanwhile, Cruz, who up to this point has been resourceful and determined and on nobody’s side but her own, just stands there and lets these men fire multiple weapons at her.  Eventually, she just rushes the chasm herself, probably because she’s dying to get this horribly long and convoluted scene over with already.

Read the rest of the review here.