So when Obi Wan said "He was a good friend" he COULDN'T have meant the guy in this movie.

My very first review here on Lunch was my ESSAY about this movie.  Lets cut to a more condensed hate of this blight on the Star Wars film series.  Please see that review "He was a good Friend" in the moviesucktastic community for more.

Years have passed between Phantom Menace and Anakin has grown and is being taught the Jedi arts.  Knowing how all powerful he is supposed to be coupled with Obi Wan keeping him on a short leash has made him angry and frustrated.  Anakin's love Padme is now a senator and has mysterious forces after her due to her political leanings.  Anakin needs to keep Padme safe and his hormones in line and Obi Wan needs to track the assassins.  Ugh, just typing this makes me ill.  If your really interested in wrapping your head around this, I'd suggest hitting up a rental outlet for more.

The story is a boring mess of convoluted politics, a cardboard romance that could rival Twilight in the awful/unbelieveable dept and too little action.  The acting is dull and the dialogue is wooden and utilitarian that lacks the flair of the older Star Wars movies.  I cannot think of one line that was memorable short of Anakins dislike of sand, and I only remember it cause it is so jaw droppingly, amazingly stupid.  None of the characters have ANY emotion and it really made me actually enjoy seeing the character Jar Jar since at LEAST he had a personality.  Yes folks, this movie made me enjoy Jar Jar.  We are scraping the bottom of Suck Mountain.

I was UNentertained.  NO scratch that.  I was BORED.  I was bored by flat and recycled action scenes I've seen in other better movies, I was ANNOYED by a pretty boy crying through the whole movie and a boring jerk in Obi Wan COMPLAINING about him the other.  The action is too spread out and the finale while nice, is way too little and to late.



This movie was certainly hyped with the level of toy and food tie ins and trailers, commercials and the fans talking about it.  This movie did NOT in any way meet what I was hoping it would meet.

This movie is as mainstream as it comes.  As far as Star Wars goes, it's as bad as it comes too.



I try to find a silver lining to any ugly bad cloud, even in things I hate.  I can't think of ANYTHING about this movie I liked.  Christopher Lee shows up too late with the final action scene to make a difference.  Samuel L Jackson is woefully miscast (an actor known for his loud crescendo and attitude in movies is supposed to play a restrained Jedi?) the actors have no charisma together and Jango Fett (daddy of the infamous Boba Fett from Empire Strikes Back and the Star Wars Holiday Special) is only here to try and sell us that this is a classic Star Wars, when it ISN'T.

NEGATIVE 5.  All the way.  When I say this movie is one of the most odious things I've seen, I'm not kidding.  If there was more action, less whining on Anakin's part or less time of him and Portman together I would enjoy it more but this movie's bad scenes run in excess and it's unbearable.  I used to cut the political scenes some slack since they at least showed up how the Star Wars galaxy works, but even now they're simply annoying.  Keep "the way things work" to Star Trek.  That goes double for the midichloreans.

I'm still a Star Wars fan but this movie just about scared me off the series for good.  Episode III may not have been great but at LEAST it was entertaining, had action that kept moving and DIDN'T remind me of other, BETTER movies I could be seeing and toned down this movies biggest failings.  It's EPIC FAILings.  Look there are other movies that are BAD, like Out For Justice-a Steven Seagal action crapfest or Date Movie one of stupid parody comedy pieces of junk.  But when Star Wars sets such a bar high and plummets to such a turgid low, it's more sad then anything when a movie like this is made.  Sadness must lead to the darkside.  That must make this the epitome of depressants.