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  • May 11, 2012
The most impressive thing about The Love Guru is how much talent it managed to steal from The Daily Show. Samantha Bee, John Oliver, and Stephen Colbert all play small supporting roles in it. Good thing too, because Mike Myers was in dire need of help. He made a lot of exceptionally dumb mistakes in getting it onto the screen which a lot of other filmmakers really would have thought better of, up to and including his decision to play an Indian, Hindu guru. I realize that Hollywood progressivism and real progressivism are two very different creatures, and that most of the die-hard progressives in Hollywood are loudmouths looking for attention and kudos for self-righteous outrage. If they weren't, we'd probably have a lot more screenwriters, directors, producers, and even grips and set electricians who are women and minorities.

Even if Hinduism was portrayed accurately, it wouldn't do very much to rescue The Love Guru. The plot of the movie is basically Mike Myers doing for his favorite sports team what the people behind the Major League movies were trying to do for their favorite sports team: Get their ultimate sports fantasy onscreen, one in which their team relieves its army of heartbroken and tired fans by going all the way. The team for Myers is his beloved Toronto Maple Leafs. The Leafs are one of hockey's classic, storied teams. An Original Six team which was there at the founding of the NHL in 1917, the Leafs have won the Stanley Cup 13 times, more than any other team except one. But their most recent Stanley Cup victory was back in 1967 (to put that in perspective, NHL fans know that was the final year of the league being exclusive to the Original Six), and since then they haven't even been back to the Finals. They got to the Conference Finals twice, in 1993 when they lost a classic seven-game series to the Los Angeles Kings, and in 1999, when they were overmatched and subsequently crushed by the Buffalo Sabres in five games. Myers was born in 1963, so I imagine he's pretty upset with his team's recent performances at this point.

I went into detail because the two funniest jokes in the movie will otherwise not be apparent to anyone who isn't an NHL fan: First of all, the Leafs in The Love Guru are owned by Jessica Alba. She plays Jane Bullard, who inherited the team when her father died, and she's so hated that the painters at the Air Canada Centre had to paint a line on the floor leading into the arena showing her where the spectators can and can't see her. The funnier joke is that the Maple Leafs have a shot at winning the Stanley Cup. This whole movie, in fact, takes place during the Stanley Cup Finals, where the Leafs are facing the Los Angeles Kings. (The Kings, by the way, DO have a legitimate shot at the Cup this year. As of this writing, they've punched their ticket to the Western Conference Finals.)

The plot revolves more around the players than the teams. Star Leafs player Darren Roanoke is stressed out because his wife, Prudence, left him for Justin Timberlake. Okay, that old joke aside, Timberlake in The Love Guru plays the star goalie for the Kings, Jacques "Le Coq" Grande, and yes, "Coq" is pronounced the way it's spelled. (And Timberlake's performance is one of the major delights of the movie.) So Bullard, clearly lacking a halfway decent idea, goes to the famous Deepak Chopra wannabe Guru Maurice Pitka to get Darren and Prudence back together, a decision apparently guided more by Jane's schoolgirl crush on Pitka than any concern for Darren and Prudence, and with the Leafs' performance in the Finals coming in a distant third. By the way, when I say Pitka is a Chopra wannabe, I MEAN it. Pitka has designs on surpassing Chopra as the world's greatest self-help guru, which becomes a major plot point.

Throughout the movie, Myers winks at the audience. His way of winking is to break out in hysterical, maniacal laughter after doing something non-sequiter, as if to be cuing us in to the fact that hey, THAT was the joke! Some of the jokes work well, and Myers proved in the past that he has an impeccable sense of comedy and comic timing. Remember the first Austin Powers movie and the scene where Austin tries to play a CD on an old-fashioned record player? Or the scene where the enemy stands 20 feet away screaming "NOOOOO!!!!" as Austin's out-of-control steamroller slowly approaches him? Myers knows things like that are funny, but he goes cheap in The Love Guru. There are a handful of amusing gags: One is when the broadcasters of Hockey Night in Canada tell the viewers how Le Coq got his nickname: The line says they can't describe how he got that name on a family show. In the meantime, the scene cuts to a TV reporter doing a live interview and accidentally unleashing a vulgar word when Grande undresses in front of her. Another involves Verne Troyer flying across the ice and into the goal.

Still though, a lot of the humor in The Love Guru tries to be more madcap than anything. Myers mistakes intentionally doing something out of the ordinary for funny way too many times. One scene shows him trying to eat cotton candy and the candy getting all over his face and covering his beard.

I think Grande's nickname sums up a lot of The Love Guru. Throughout, Myers carries the attitude that he's getting laughs from twelve-year-old boys who are in the stage of life where they think the vulgar terms for sex organs are funny. The Love Guru makes up Indian names by combining the words in common phrases (Guru Tugginmypudha) that have vulgar meanings. There's plenty of bathroom humor, the kind the later Austin Powers movies devolved into, and the climactic scene involves a pair of elephants humping. Myers went as far as to avoid brining in Ron MacLean and Don Cherry, the real-life presenters of Hockey Night in Canada, instead having Jim Gaffigan and Stephen Colbert play fictional presenters. Colbert's character is a drunk on the verge of a relapse, while Gaffigan just shouts a lot.

The plot finds excuses to keep on going through jokes. Therefore, we get a lot of things like Pitka having to take a shortcut from his usual method in order to get Darren and Prudence back together in time to play the last game of the Finals, and oh yeah, Alba falling in love with Myers. Gotta have that, I guess. There's some crap about a chastity belt.

My hometown of Buffalo, New York lives and breathes hockey. The greater area is the hometown of nine players who are currently in the NHL, which is more than anyplace else in the United States. Patrick Kane, the star right wing for the Chicago Blackhawks who scored the Stanley Cup-winning goal in 2010, is a Buffalo native. So when Myers decided to make Darren Roanoke a Buffalo native, I appreciated the shout-out, especially coming as it did from a Leafs fan. (Sabres/Leafs is a major area sports rivalry.) And Myers plays a surprisingly catchy sitar version of Steve Miller's "The Joker," so at least The Love Guru has those going for it.

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May 13, 2012
heh. In a way, I am glad I have only seen bits and parts of this. Sounds like it gets its momentum from a lot of crap LOL
More The Love Guru reviews
Quick Tip by . February 12, 2011
posted in Movie Hype
This movie was just about the funniest dumb movie ive seen in a while. Mike meyers is funny as ever (as long as you can ignore the small parts where austin powers takes over) and justin timberlake is outright hilarious! I didnt even realize that it was him at first but once i did it made it all the better.
review by . June 20, 2008
posted in Movie Hype
Forget about Mike Myers for a minute. Let's begin with Ben Kingsley, the Oscar winning actor who actually appears in "The Love Guru"; he plays a cross-eyed spiritual advisor from India, and his name is not a double entendre so much as it's a blatant sexual reference smushed into a single word. The sight of this man is hilarious, and yet I didn't want to laugh because I know that Kingsley has made so many better choices than this film. What possessed him to act in a film this …
review by . September 02, 2008
Plot [Don't blink]: The world's second-rated spiritual advisor is hired to de-stress a professional ice hockey player.     This movie had me in stitches [after I got injured in the stampede for the exit] and will most certainly go down in history [as one of the worst movies ever made]     Jam packed with humor from start to finish [potty, crotch, midget, crude, one-liners] it is undoubtedly the work of a comedic genius [who has crossed the line to madness …
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Nicholas Croston ()
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Hi! I'm here in part to plug my writing and let everyone know that I'm trying to take my work commercial.      Now, what about me? Well, obviously I like to write. I'm … more
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About this movie


Mike Myers, creator of Wayne's World and Austin Powers, adds another character to his arsenal of comic personae. With his thick beard, curly mustachios, and easy-to-remember aphorisms, Guru Pitka (Myers) has built a reputation as love advisor par excellence--but he's still just America's #2 guru, after Deepak Chopra. Finally an opportunity comes his way: If he can heal the rift between a star hockey player (Romany Marco,Weeds) and his wife (Meagan Good, Stomp the Yard), he can appear on Oprah. But when he meets the hockey team's comely owner (Jessica Alba), Pitka realizes he must solve his own love problems as well. Myers can't resist a good bodily functions joke--unfortunately, he can't resist a bad one either, so The Love Guruis crammed top to bottom with jokes about urine, feces, sex, genitalia--lots and lots about male genitalia--along with many, many gags about Canada, drugs, elephants, inspirational catchphrases, and little people (Vern "Mini-Me" Troyer takes the brunt of these). But theAustin Powersmovies were pretty much the same sort of lowbrow comedy grab-bag; though the ratio of good to bad might be weaker here, a good handful of bits offer solid laughs, including some mock-Bollywood musical numbers. Also featuring pop star Justin Timberlake (as a preposterously well-endowed French-Canadian), Ben Kingsley (as Pitka's cross-eyed mentor), Stephen Colbert (as a drug-addled sports announcer), as ...
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Genre: Comedy
Release Date: June 20, 2008
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Screen Writer: Mike Myers, Graham Gordy
Runtime: 1hr 27min
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