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Independent Film by Tommy Wiseau

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There will never be a worse film made than this

  • Oct 19, 2010
Rating:
-5
Based upon my generally optimistic state, I tend to believe that human ingenuity guarantees that the best car hasn't built yet, and the best novel has yet to be written. But I can guarantee you this: whether it's a hundred or a thousand years in the future, nobody will ever make a film worse than this one. Seriously.

Ladies and Gentleman of the jury, exhibit A:



I was actually shocked - SHOCKED - to find this had a 33% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. When I say shocked, I mean I was lucky I was sat in a chair without wheels. Nothing about the movie could be any worse - exhibit B:



I mean, who needs Syd Field or Blake Snyder when you have writer/director/actor Tommy Wiseu? His "hi doggie" line makes M Night look like the love-child of Mark Twain and William Shakespeare. This is singly the worst scene in movie-making history, bumbled by hideously painful dialog and two 'actors' who get out-acted by a dog and walk all over each others' lines.

I can't decide if my favorite part is when she says "oh hi Jonny I didn't know it was you", like you're not going to notice the long-haired odd-looking guy because he has sunglasses, or the final passing shot "you're my favorite customer". If I owned the flower shop and he was my favorite customer, I'd burn it down and check into wherever Lindsay Lohan's living these days.

But's let not get ahead of ourselves - zoom to the 35 second mark in Exhibit C:



"I definitely have breast cancer" is delivered so tastelessly that it defies any sort of rational explanation. I've had people tell me they have a cold with more emotion. 

Who is Tommy Wiseau?

Inevitably, in all our lives we reach a point where we're all facing the same nagging question. Tommy Wiseau is like the cinematic Carlos the Jackal, whose influence on the downright awful is so profound that even Wikipedia's editors gave up on the quest for quality. Check out these quotes from his page:

"Wiseau grew up in New Orleans,[4] and lived in France "a long time ago".[5] He moved back and forth between the United States and Europe throughout his life, and at some point moved to San Francisco, where he was employed at a hospital."

Wiseau has said that he has been influenced by James Dean,[7] Marlon Brando,[7] Elizabeth Taylor,[8] Tennessee Williams,[8] The Guns of Navarone,[7] and Citizen Kane.[7][8]


Hmmm. The really surprising part, apart from the fact that none of the people mentioned above sued for slander, is that the The Room cost $6 million.

Wait! How much?!



In case you were wondering, this is what one million dollars looks like. So imagine a green pile six times as big being turned in a brown pile of something completely different.

Calling The Room "bad" is like calling a man on fire "warm". There are porn movies with significantly higher production values. Hell, there are more entertaining home videos created when someone left the camcorder on by accident. 

Basically, I hate telling people when they have no talent, but in this case I feel we need to reach out to Tommy Wiseau and tell him for the good of humanity. I mean we should literally get a federal injunction preventing him from making anything at all ever again. Even sandwiches or a cake.

He's some more:



I haven't felt this icky watching sex scenes - and there are a lot of them in The Room - since the water scene in Showgirls. They should quit trying to persuade teens to practice abstinence and show them this movie instead - celibacy rates would shoot through the roof.

It's the sort of film that makes me want to throw away my DVD collection and put a golf club through my TV. It has such a negative effect on the world's creative body of work that it actually makes any creative endeavor look pointless. 

On the upside, when the sun eventually burns out or the universe implodes, it should ensure that every copy of this movie gets destroyed.

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October 17, 2011
I agree that it's terrible, however, it's entertainment value adds some likability to the film, opposed to many exploitation films which is badly shot violence, gore and profanity. August Underground Mordum for example is a solid 2hrs of cry and swearing, so to The Room's merit, it has a story and attempts characters.
 
October 28, 2010
Hah, thanks for that riveting review! I love reading passionate reviews, especially when they're super negative or super positive, =]
October 28, 2010
Thanks for the feedback! I enjoy writing the negative ones though it's usually hard to find anything nearly this bad.
 
October 23, 2010
No, how do you REALLY feel about it? This is one of the funniest pans of a flick that I've read in a long time. Now I'll have to go back and actually review the evidence.

AAAARRRGGGHHH!!!!! I couldn't do it! I can't go on! After watching one clip I have to agree that this is some of the worst writing and acting I've ever seen and I am a fan of low budget horror flix where those things are the norm. You are absolutely right--this may very well be THE WORST MOVIE EVER MADE. I can't even make myself look at the other clips.
October 23, 2010
Here's the kicker: THIS MOVIE COST MORE THAN RESERVOIR DOGS. It would be one thing if a bunch of amateurs threw this together with some Scotch Tape and $20, but they spent $6 million. Holy hell! I've never seen even the worst of low budget horror be as awful as this. Argh!
October 23, 2010
Tell me about it! Maurice Devereaux made END OF THE LINE for much less than one million and that was Canadian dollars! You have to wonder what idiot would give this guy that kind of money.
October 24, 2010
Yeah, exactly. And it's actually getting cheaper all the time for would-be filmmakers, so price is no excuse for a totally shite product.
 
October 22, 2010
I've only heard of Tommy Wiseau via his issues with thatguywiththeglasses.com and HOLY B@(($ just that first clip was friggen TERRIBLE! Could this be anymore of a clown shoes movie?
October 22, 2010
I left this feeling two thing: (1) there was no order in the universe and (2) it must be easy to raise six million bucks!
 
October 22, 2010
Very entertaining review! I know you said it is real bad, for some reason I am curious because it is so bad! LOL! Thanks!
October 22, 2010
Thanks! I'm sure this has made it's money back because there are curious voyeurs like you and me who just have to see it.
 
October 21, 2010
It's amazing how uncomfortable it is to watch them throw the football around. And it seems to be such a critical theme throughout the movie...
October 21, 2010
Lol. It's one of the dozen or so devices they have to waste screen time, but it's strangely creepy. And they're so bad at it.
 
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More The Room reviews
review by . March 11, 2009
If you've yet to see The Room, do yourself a favor and rent it asap.  Terrible acting, non-linear story, bad lighting and unbearable dialouge.  There may be worse movies, but not ones that are pretending to be legit. This clip really tells the whole dismal tale of The Room.     
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Wiki

The Room (2003) is an independent film written, produced, and directed and executive produced by Tommy Wiseau. It is the melodramatic story of a love triangle between a man, his fiancée, and his best friend. The principle cast includes Wiseau, Juliette Danielle, Greg Sestero, Philip Haldiman, Carolyn Minnott, and Robyn Paris. Without any studio support, Wiseau spent over $6 million on production and marketing for the film. After a brief run in Los Angeles, the film went on to develop a cult following in the city, because of its perceived unintentional humor. It continues to have popular monthly midnight screenings. Wiseau promotes the film as a black comedy and insists that the "unintentional" humor is intentional, although audience members generally doubt this.

Many people who watch The Room immediately respond to how unintentionally funny it appears to be. According to many Room fans, the quality of the writing, acting, cinematography, set design, and editing all indicate that the film is a vanity piece gone awry – and to the extent of hilarity
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Tags

Movies, Comedy Movies, Indie, Dark Comedy, Black Comedy, Cult, Indie Films, Cult Following, Tommy Wiseau

Details

Genre: Comedy
Release Date: June 27, 2003
MPAA Rating: R
DVD Release Date: December 17, 2005
Runtime: 99 minutes
Studio: Wiseau-Films
First to Review

"So bad it's good"
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