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The Tourist

A 2010 film starring Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie.

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A Mediocre Vacation

  • Dec 11, 2010
Written by Florian Henckel von Donnersmark, Christopher McQuarrie and Jullian Fellowes
Directed by Florian Henckel von Donnersmark
Starring Johnny Depp, Angelina Jolie, Paul Bettany and Timothy Dalton
Frank Tupelo: You’re ravenous
Elise Clifton-Ward: Do you mean ravishing?
Frank: Yes, I do.
Elise: You’re ravenous
Some poor sap of a math teacher from Wisconsin is sitting on a train en route to Venice from Paris when it happens.  A devastatingly beautiful woman enters his car and spots the empty seat in front of him.  Her gaze throws him completely off balance and from the moment she sits down, he doesn’t stand a chance.  Who is she? Why would she sit with him when she could sit with any man she wanted? You just know that by the time they get off the train, their lives will be desperately intertwined.  This is how Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie, two of today’s biggest stars, meet in German director, Florian Henckel von Donnersmark’s first American foray, THE TOURIST.  It’s all so old Hollywood but sadly it’s also all so transparently so.
Sometimes star power can have a blinding effect.  The wattage can burn so bright that you don’t necessarily see how distracting it is from the actual film.  And with stars as big as Depp and Jolie in your picture, it isn’t surprising that von Donnersmark, the man behind Oscar winner, THE LIVES OF OTHERS, didn’t notice that they were not necessarily the best choices for their roles.  Depp, with his beautiful hair and instinctual charm, is anything but a believable sap.  Still, that charm inevitably saves him from coming off farcical and his decidedly anti-Bourne jaunt across shackled rooftops is certainly amusing.  Meanwhile, Jolie seems to have been directed to walk around like a fembot of sorts, cold and false, from her perfect walk to her supposedly British accent.  They are stars for a reason though and before long, the impossibly pretty people in the pretty foreign place lull you into comfortable and classical state of intrigue.
The setup for THE TOURIST is straight out of a Hitchcock movie.  All the elements of a tantalizing mystery are there but all the goods are given away upfront so there is nothing left to guess at.  Of course, seeing as how we don’t live in classical Hollywood, modern necessities like twists and surprises must occur and they are neither twisted nor surprising but at least they aren’t insulting.  And so like a real tourist on a mediocre vacation that promised to be so gorgeous in the brochure, the stay is acceptable, at times even enjoyable, but we are happy to know we are going home when the credits roll.

Thanks for reading.
LUNCH rating is out of 10.

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December 13, 2010
Awesome review, Joseph! I saw the previews for it and you describe their meeting beautifully. Thanks for sharing!
December 16, 2010
Thanks! I appreciate that very much. It's a beautiful film but it's also such a big waste of everyone's time.
December 12, 2010
Good review!! Sad to see ratings low on a Depp movie though -- LOL
December 16, 2010
Depp can make the wrong choice once in a while.
December 16, 2010
True -- but at least he's adventurous with his choices I guess!! LOL
More The Tourist (2010 movie) reviews
review by . December 12, 2010
posted in Movie Hype
Beautiful People In A Beautiful Place Doing Beautiful Things...
Crime capers or in this case a scheme to “Catch a Thief”. Those who are familiar with Hitchcock’s beloved film know that it wasn’t one of the best Hitchcock movies (God, I punched so many holes in its narrative that it won’t be able to stand up at all) but it was enjoyed primarily because of the lead performers who were Cary Grant and Grace Kelly. Well, director Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck’s “The Tourist” is a remake of the 2005 French movie “Anthony …
review by . December 24, 2010
This movie was aggressively mediocre, pretty much nothing but a star vehicle for Johnny and Angelina. For those who don't know what a star vehicle is, it's a movie that has nothing going for it other than the celebrity of one or two leading actors. If two different actors were cast in the roles of Frank and Elise, then this movie would be worse than 0%. That being said, it wasn't a good movie, not even close.      I like Johnny Depp and Paul Bettany, but I cannot …
review by . November 19, 2010
posted in Movie Hype
For those of you who know me even a little, you are aware I adore Johnny Depp and I despise Angelina Jolie.  The movie itself, based on what I have read, sounds like it could be pretty well action-packed, but why in the hell did they have to put Depp with HER?  Sorry if I have insulted Jolie fans, but I just do not like her; never have, never will.      I will admit she looks good in the trailer and in photos; I am not blind after all.  Depp looks hotter than hell …
review by . July 14, 2011
posted in Movie Hype
Angelina Jolie is the girlfriend of a mysterious man who is wanted by both Interpol and some very bad Mafia guys (led by the guy who played Victor Maitland in Beverly Hills Cop). While she is having her breakfast at an outdoor cafe, a letter is delivered to her. The letter is from her boyfriend who tells her to go to the train station to a train going to Italy and try to meet a stranger that is the same height and build as he is. This will make Interpol think the stranger is her boyfriend and throw …
review by . February 25, 2011
posted in Movie Hype
After I kissed YOU!
Who’d have guessed what a lunch with a stranger whom one met on the Intercity train could turn into? Other than the promise of romance and adventure, right? Well, sometimes being too optimistic can be treacherous…       In The Tourist, as a tourist what would one look for? Venice, one of the most romantic cities in the world if not the most romantic, is a great place to visit and since I had been there almost 2 decades ago, this brings back a lot of fond memories. …
review by . December 13, 2010
posted in Movie Hype
Angelina Jolie’s appearance in “The Tourist” may someday set records for sheer photogenic appeal. She plays one of the most glamorous undercover agents ever to grace the silver screen; her wardrobe, her makeup, and her hair are all immaculate, and for some strange reason, they stay that way all 103 minutes of the film. Even when her character is roughed up by an odious mobster near the end, she still looks as if she has been prepped for a “Vanity Fair” photo shoot. …
review by . December 13, 2010
posted in Movie Hype
For some reason with so much star power and Oscar winners working on the script I somehow expected more from this movie. But now it seems the reason this movie was signed on by so many was for a paid vacation to Venice. Not to say I blame them, but I would hesitate before I indulge their fantasies, unless of course you want to get away a little yourself.      This is a classic tale of a female temptress and a bumbling hero. Angelina Jolie fills the role, and every part of her …
review by . June 05, 2011
posted in Movie Hype
12A - 103mins - Action/Drama/Romance - 10th December 2010      Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie, star in this action romance as Frank and Elise. Whilst on a vacation to Italy to recover from a broken heart, Frank a maths teacher, is minding his own business on a train when Elsie sits opposite him. They strike up a bond and Frank thinks its his lucky day when he runs into her later. Unfortunately for him, this is not a chance encounter but rather a scheme by Elise to use him …
review by . December 22, 2010
posted in Movie Hype
   The Tourist? Maybe The Borefest! This movie is nowhere near being disappointing it just suck from start to finish. First of all, the story is full of cliches and bad lines. The characters could not make something remarkable thanks to the bad development. The dialogue in this film is not just poor but lame and forced. The pacing is also something that enrages the viewer. It really gets dull and boring. Too many scenes having nothing important to show but only pretty faces and long (could …
review by . March 15, 2011
What would you do if the beautiful Angelina Jolie approached you "randomly" on a train while you are in a foreign country? Probably double check to make sure it wasn't the Octo-Mom trying for another 15 minutes of fame for playing out a scene from Jolie's last flick. The Tourist is one of those films you wish you hadn't seem no matter how many reasons there were telling you to go. Yes it looked like it had potential of being something great. Yes it is a collaboration between …
About the reviewer
Joseph Belanger ()
Ranked #8
Hello Lunchers. I am a thirty-something guy making his way in Toronto. I am a banker by day and a film critic the rest of the time. Sensitive, sharp and sarcastic are just a few words that start with … more
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About this movie


The Tourist is a 2010 thriller film directed by Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck, starring Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp. It is a remake of the 2005 French film Anthony Zimmer.

Director: Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck
Writer: Julian Fellowes
Studio: Columbia Pictures
Cast: Johnny Depp, Angelina Jolie, Paul Bettany

Release: December 10, 2010
Poster art for "The Tourist"
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Genre: Thriller
Release Date: December 10, 2010
Screen Writer: Julian Fellowes
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