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Really, really bad.

  • Apr 2, 2010
Rating:
-3
There is this to be said about 20th Century Fox's latest family-friendly offering: it is watchable. It is watchable in the sense that you can sit there and look at it, though you'll likely hate yourself afterwords.

The movie stars Dwayne Johnson, finally free of the title "The Rock". Also, as this movie proves, free of the ability to pick good screenplays. He plays Derek Thompson, a minor league, former NHL, hockey player in Michigan. He's known as the Tooth Fairy because he frequently knocks out people's teeth in his games, much to the amusement of the crowd (side note: the NHL needs to crack down hard on the violence at hockey games. I like hockey, but I like the game, not the fights. They don't put up with this crap in the European leagues).

It's also worth noting that we only see this tooth-removal process once, which is for the best. I noticed four things during the scene where we see it. Those were a: the tooth looked like it had been carefully extracted, rather than a broken, bloody thing, b: it was a molar, c: the screenplay refers to it as an incisor, and d: when we see the mouth of the person who lost it, it was clearly a canine. Apparently the director paid close attention to Michael Bay's Second Rule of Filmmaking; Continuity is for losers.

He's dating a lovely, one-dimensional woman played by Ashley Judd. She has a cute six-year-old daughter and a sulky thirteen-year-old son who doesn't like Derek. No prizes for guessing if they bond and become good friends by the end of the movie.

Derek makes the mistake of almost spilling the beans about the "real" Tooth Fairy to the girl by saying the Tooth Fairy doesn't exist. Later that night, he gets a summons to appear for duty as a Tooth Fairy, which gives us the chance to see Dwayne Johnson in a tutu. I have a feeling this was a major part of the pitch to the studio.

In Fairly Land, he meets the head fairy (Julie Andrews), a fairy version of Bond's Q (Billy Crystal), and his trainer played by Stephen Merchant, best known for playing Darren Lamb, the worst agent in the world, in Extras. Throughout the movie I kept picturing him trying to get Andy Millman to be in the movie. Anyhow, Derek goes through fairy training and then gets sent out on a series of tooth-recovery missions, each less entertaining than the previous.

This movie is bad. It takes an idea that might make for an amusing five-minute SNL sketch ("Man built like the Rock thinks he's the Tooth Fairy, dresses as such and invades people's houses"), and turns it into an endurance competition for the audience. There is no creativity, no intelligence and nothing entertaining in the movie.

Oh, there's a couple moments where I laughed (Billy Crystal bringing Julie Andrews a tray of snacks and saying, "Here's a few of your favorite things"), and some where I smiled faintly (Dwayne Johnson going mano a mano with Stephen Merchant), and Ryan Sheckler, who plays an up-and-coming hockey player was attractive enough that I'd like to see him both those ways, but for the most part I was grumbling and checking my watch.

The movie plays like a checklist of family and sports movie cliches. Does the would-be stepson bond with Derek? Is there a musical training montage? Does our hero learn life lessons about the value of thinking like a child? Will Derek be able to make a goal during the big game?

I'm at a loss as to why this movie was made. The premise is awful, the execution is even worse. Dwayne Johnson was once positioned to be the next Schwarzenegger, and to an extent he's living up to that. The problem is that instead of doing great action movies like Predator and the Terminator films, he's skipped ahead to the Junior and Kindergarten Cop phase of his career. This is not a wise move.

Then there's the really crappy lesson that this movie offers, which is that you should hold onto your dreams, even the most unrealistic, and that you should be more like a child, and cling to your beliefs in things like fairies. Children should never grow up and never learn about the real world, but should be children as long as possible, thus forgetting that the real goal of being a child is to become an adult.

There is good material to be had in a story involving the Tooth Fairy. Terry Prachett managed it quite nicely in the wonderful novel Hogfather and it's companion, the less-than-wonderful movie, Hogfather. There we see a similar Tooth Fairy franchise, but we also get a more imaginative idea for where the Tooth Fairy lives, why she collects the teeth and who she really is.

If you're looking for something to entertain young kids, this might get the job done. For anyone past, say, eight, it won't.

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More Tooth Fairy (2010 movie) reviews
Quick Tip by . December 28, 2010
posted in Movie Hype
Caption
I've always had a fondness for seeing guys with big "guns" make fun of themselves. Dwayne Johnson "The Rock" does a very good job in accomplishing this. "the Tooth Fairy" is Johnson's 2nd comedic film after "The Game Plan". The film has great comedic moments (I laughed seeing Johnson dressed up in silky baby blue) but somehow it loses its momentum by the third act as the film becomes too stereotypical of films like this. Ashley Judd makes …
review by . August 03, 2010
posted in Movie Hype
It is all about expectations; I expected this to be one of the worst movies ever. Turns out, it isn't really that bad. The Rock (yes I know he doesn't like being called that anymore) is mostly believable as a hockey player turned tooth fairy. There is some silly slapstick humor in this film, that is well meaning.     Derek Thompson (Dwayne The Rock Johnson) is a down and out minor league hockey player that is nicknamed "The Tooth Fairy." He's an enforcer and knocked out a few …
review by . July 01, 2010
posted in Movie Hype
Dwayne 'the Rock' Johnson dressed up as a fairy has got to be one of the more ridiculous images in recent movie history. That's just one of the things that makes Tooth Fairy hilarious. The movie is filled with witty (and sometimes corny) humor. The plot and character development also feel pretty natural. Indeed, even though the plot device of a boyfriend trying to win the love of his girlfriend's children has been used far too many times, it didn't feel stale.     Meanwhile, …
review by . July 01, 2010
posted in Movie Hype
Dwayne 'the Rock' Johnson dressed up as a fairy has got to be one of the more ridiculous images in recent movie history. That's just one of the things that makes Tooth Fairy hilarious. The movie is filled with witty (and sometimes corny) humor. The plot and character development also feel pretty natural. Indeed, even though the plot device of a boyfriend trying to win the love of his girlfriend's children has been used far too many times, it didn't feel stale.     Meanwhile, …
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C R Swanson ()
Ranked #25
   I'm an aspiring writer and reviewer. I run a blog, I'm working on a novel and spend my free time reading and playing video games. I also spend waaaaay too much time and money on movies. … more
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Wiki

Dreams and "what ifs" have no place in the life of hockey player Derek Thompson (Dwayne Johnson). As a major league player who's been moved down to the minor leagues following an injury, Derek thrives on negative attention, is ruthlessly pragmatic, and doesn't think twice about crushing the hopes and dreams of even his youngest fans. His poor attitude spills over into his personal life when he almost convinces his girlfriend's young daughter Tess (Destiny Whitlock) that the tooth fairy doesn't exist. As if the potential end to his relationship with girlfriend Carly (Ashley Judd) wasn't bad enough, Derek's actions inexplicably result in a nighttime summons from the "Department of Dissemination of Disbelief." Transformed into a tutu-wearing fairy with wings and whisked away to a fairy world, Derek assumes that his fanciful journey--and his sentencing by the head fairy (Julie Andrews) to a two-week stint as a tooth fairy--is just a bad dream. When his pager starts buzzing and wings sprout from his back at inopportune times, he realizes that his sentence is for real, yet he continues to deny the possibility that dreams and imagination have value. Derek's disbelief makes him an extremely inept fairy, but with the help of fellow fairy Tracy (Stephen Merchant) and some bonding time spent with Tess and her brother Randy (Chase Ellison), he begins to glimpse the importance of dreams and imagination and even manages to rediscover some of ...
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Details

DVD Release Date: May 4, 2010
Runtime: 120 minutes
Studio: 20th Century Fox

First to Review

"Really, really bad."
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