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Twilight (movie)

A 2008 film based on the Stephenie Meyer book of the same name, directed by Catherine Hardwicke

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To Catch a Vampire Predator

  • Apr 27, 2009
  • by
Rating:
-2
UPDATE Nov 24, 2009:  For more Twilight fun, check out my list, You might be a Stephenie Meyer Vampire if....

Before I begin, two caveats:

1) SPOILER ALERT:  This review contains spoilers... all over the place.  If you're a 13 year old girl and want to be surprised to find out the really pale super dreamy troubled teenager is actually a vampire... stop reading now.

2) I'm not a 13 year old girl, so  I may not be the target audience for this film.  I also have not read the book, so I'm reviewing this movie based solely on the movie...  I thought this was supposed to be like "Harry Potter" for Vampires, but it really felt like an episode of Vampire 90210.

So... Twilight is about two star-crossed lovers, Edward and Bella, who fall deeply in love with each other...   Bella is attracted to Edward because he ignores her and he is mopey -- Edward is intensely attracted to Bella because she smells really really good to eat (FYI... Edward is the vampire).  Once the two profess their love for one another, Edward reveals why he must stay out of the sunlight -- not because he would be burnt to ashes like most vampires, but because he glitters and sparkles in the sunlight.  So this particular brand of vampire's risk from exposure to direct sunlight is significantly lower than that of an Irish boy on spring break in Arizona.  Edward also reveals that although he looks 17 years of age, he is actually several hundred years old.  Does no one else find it a creepy that a several hundred year old man is pining after a 17 year old girl -- while he constantly reminds her that he could easily kill and eat her?  If you replaced Edward's Abercrombe and Fitch wardrobe with a "wife-beater" tank top and replaced "blood lust" for "could really go for a beer", you'd have the same movie on Lifetime about domestic abuse and women living in fear.

Anyway, all is going well until a trio of vampires from the other side of the tracks decide to crash in on Edward's family's Traditional Vampire Baseball Picnic and sniff out Bella in their midst.  I'm already bored of talking about the "plot" of this movie, so if you're still hanging in suspense, I've done a poor job conveying my opinion of this movie, so go get the movie and enjoy yourself.  There's quite a bit of foreshadowing to future plotlines including more vampire on vampire hate crimes,  vampires vs. warewolves, and how to make senior prom even better than junior prom.

If you're looking for a good vampire fix, I think you can avoid this movie.  You'll probably get more of a thrill from reading 'The Celery Stalks at Midnight -- The story of Bunnicula".

What did you think of this review?

Helpful
46
Thought-Provoking
9
Fun to Read
30
Well-Organized
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Post a Comment
November 19, 2009
Great review, very entertaining. Favorite line, "...because he ignores her and he is mopey..."
 
November 16, 2009
And Vampires apparently love baseball!!!
 
November 16, 2009
I saw this movie and I agree. Your review was very funny, but I know quite a few women in their thirties who love this movie and the books.
 
July 16, 2009
Hilarious. I wasn't planning on seeing this movie, but I might now just to laugh at it while thinking back on this review.
 
April 28, 2009
Vampire 90210 sounds like a good idea for a show...you should pitch it to fox
 
April 27, 2009
hilarious - and I couldn't agree more! = )
 
April 27, 2009
lol
 
April 27, 2009
Two points for the Bunnicula reference; two points for a great headline and two points for the Irish boy jab! However, the 13-year-old girl in me disagrees and will have to review this soon.
 
April 27, 2009
Ok. This was a funny review and love the reference to Lifetime.
 
April 27, 2009
great review... i just gave it a "fun to read" but i feel like we a higher rating scale for this... really off the charts man. Bunnicula... classic.
 
1 2 Next
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Quick Tip by . October 01, 2010
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review by . May 12, 2010
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posted in The Twilight Saga
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About the reviewer
Andrew ()
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I'm a technology early adopter. I thoroughly enjoy geeking out with the latest hardware, software and electronics. I probably have as much fun setting up, tweaking, and configuring systems as I do actually … more
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About this movie

Wiki


Twilight is a 2008 American romantic vampire film based on Stephenie Meyer's popular novel of the same name. Directed by Catherine Hardwicke, the film stars Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson. It is the first film in The Twilight Saga film series. This film focuses on the development of the relationship between Bella Swan (a teenage girl) and Edward Cullen (a vampire), and the subsequent efforts of Cullen and his family to keep Swan safe from a coven of evil vampires.

The project was in development for approximately three years at Paramount Pictures, during which time a screen adaptation that differed significantly from the novel was written. Summit Entertainment acquired the rights to the novel after three years of the project's stagnant development. Melissa Rosenberg wrote a new adaptation of the novel shortly before the 2007–2008 Writers Guild of America strike and sought to be faithful to the novel's storyline. Principal photography took 44 days, and completed on May 2, 2008; the film was primarily shot in Oregon.

Twilight was theatrically released on November 21, 2008, grossing over US$392 million worldwide. It was released on DVD March 21, 2009, and became the most purchased DVD of the year. The soundtrack was released on November 4, 2008. Following the film's success, New Moon and Eclipse, the next two novels in the series, were produced as films the following year.
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Details

Genre: Drama, Fantasy, Romance
Release Date: November 2008
MPAA Rating: PG-13
DVD Release Date: Summit Entertainment (October 27, 2009)
Runtime: 122 minutes
Studio: Summit Entertainment
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