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Transformers: Dark of the Moon

A movie directed by Michael Bay

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Dark of the Moon

  • Jun 29, 2011
Rating:
-4
I don't believe Michael Bay has ever met a special effect he didn't like or an object he didn't want to blow up. For those fans of Michael Bay you are gonna get more of the same, maybe even a little darker than his attempts before. For those of you who are fans of non-stop action and that is all you need from a movie than by all means stop reading here and enjoy the film. I am not a Michael Bay fan and maybe that bias gets in the way, but good lord was this a dumb movie.

The film opens up with the audience discovering that the reason we went to the moon was to find Cybertronian technology before those damn Sputniks. With the back story out of the way we find ourselves cut back to present day with an up-skirt shot of Rosie Huntington-White. She represents the new beau in the movie since Megan Fox was replaced, and I can only imagine Rosie was cast due to her extensive acting past. Well she just so happens to be pretty easy on the eyes as well and Bay makes sure you get plenty of gratuitous shots of her throughout the movie.

After she finishes climbing the stairs in just a button down shirt we see that our hero Sam Witwicky is in a difficult situation again and despite saving the world twice still cannot find a job. Somehow despite having incredibly hot women at his feet and a talking car at his fingers he always opens the movie like a whiney little bitch, and this time he may be at his whiniest. Not only does Shia Lebeouf return as our leading man, but he is also accompanied by annoying miniature sidekicks again. This time they are not the semi-racist mini coopers from the second one, but rather they are even tinier, mostly pocket sized. While frustrating that Bay still felt he needed to include campy sidekicks in this movie, at least this time they aren’t as annoying.

Not all the actors in the movie are completely atrocious. In fact there are a lot of big names in bit parts that seem to be in on the joke and are completely okay with hamming it up and being a little extra ridiculous. John Turturro, Frances McDormand, John Malkovich, Ken Jeong, and a personal favorite Alan Tudyk all have some great moments in the movie and help bring some intended laughs to the screen.

There are plenty of laughable moments in the movie, mostly due to the writing of Ehren Kruger and the one liners delivered by the cast. Throughout the movie there were many cringe worthy moments that had many people laughing at what was transpiring on the screen. It was as if Kruger’ had just watched an action movie marathon and tried to hit as many cliché action movie lines as possible. Noticeable guffaws also came when, for no particular reason, Bay chose to just have his leading lady standing still, hair blowing in the wind while explosions are set in the background. You could almost see the smile I assume was on his face as he was shooting this scene.
 
If the writing wasn’t bad enough for you than maybe the music will be. Anytime they want to try and push the emotion to a new level they try and insert some emo-soft-rock. It is the same type of music you heard in the last movie, but it is still just as annoying if not just as cheesy as before.

Not only does he love his music selection but as mentioned before Michael Bay loves his special effects. If one is really cool, but there is a chance you may miss it, don’t worry. Chances are he’ll slow down the action so you can take in everything and be mesmerized by the things his CGI team can do. Most of the effects in the movie are pretty cool, the battles are great and somehow he is able to make these robots in disguise seems real. The moments that check you back into the theater and make you realize you are watching something on a screen are his attempts to use the 3D technology. Reportedly Bay originally has hesitant about using the technology as he believed it to just be a gimmick, that’s right even Michael Bay believes that 3D technology is cheesy. But when the studio said they were going to use it no matter what at least he attempted to control the situation. The scenes in question occur whenever Shia gets thrown towards the audience, and it seems to happen fairly often, the trade off of using the 3D image is usually a less clear image which is an immediate reality check. Hopefully one day they will stop with it entirely, until then though we are stuck with higher ticket prices for a less polished product.

These battle sequences take up a predominant portion of the movie. If you thought it took a long time to destroy Egypt, just imagine how long it would take to destroy a major U.S. city. I wish I had brought in my timer to let you know just how long the final battle takes place, but even Spielberg capped ‘Saving Private Ryan’ at 30 minutes for the opening battle, this finale runs much longer. I hope you don’t have anywhere to go, because to tell his story this movie runs at an impressive 2 hours and 37 minutes.

I rag on Bay a lot in this movie blaming him for a lot of his choices, and while all the criticism, positive or negative, deserves to be tossed his way because he is the director, I don’t hate him. His brand of film making is just not for me, I prefer things like story and writing and character development. While he prefers making the exact type of movie he wants to. And no matter what I or any other critic say chances are you are going to see this movie. Truth be told I’m just jealous of him, and all of the people out there that can sit back and really enjoy this movie, I am just not one of them. F

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June 30, 2011
liked your review a lot. We weren't crazy about the film either. Not a lot of bagels...Bay just doesn't know when to stop
 
June 29, 2011
I feared as much. The first one was alright fun, but the second was just so bad. Thanks for the warning!
 
June 29, 2011
What a shame-the first Transformers was great in my opinion, though the second one sucked--great review!!
 
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More Transformers: Dark of the Moon reviews
review by . July 01, 2011
posted in Movie Hype
Too Much Excessive, Inane Issues Hamper The Potential Gritty Appeal of The Robot Fights...
Allow me to re-elaborate how I felt about the first two films in the “Transformers” saga directed by Michael Bay and co-produced by Steven Spielberg. I know that the films were never faithful to the cartoon series nor to the 80’s comic books, but we have to remember that those two installments were made to promote a toy line from Hasbro and so all three films have the label “based on the Hasbro toys“ and this trilogy of films were made to sell more toys. The first …
review by . June 29, 2011
posted in Movie Hype
There is something to admire about Michael Bay.  He makes the movies he wants to make and doesn't care what the critics or anyone else thinks.  He knows exactly what his fans want and always manages to deliver on that front.  There is something quite admirable about a man who wants to simply sit back and make senseless movies.  That's actually not an insult, it's a compliment.  That doesn't mean I like Michael Bay movies, but it does mean that I have no big …
review by . July 08, 2011
posted in Movie Hype
As the Transformers movies went on, they got better and better each time for one reason, the humans got pushed to the background and we got to see more Transformers, more action and more excitement.  The first movie took it's damn time getting the Transformers out there with only glimpses of them here and there before a great action finale.  The second one, while maligned by many for many good reasons of too much comic relief, creaky story telling and broad racial stereotypes at least …
review by . June 29, 2011
posted in Movie Hype
   Dark of the Moon was one of the most anticipated summer movies because it announced the closing, the ending, the final venture of this human and alien robots story. The last movie was pretty much acknowledged as a total catastrophe by the critics and cinephiles around the globe even though it scored highly at the box-office (like that really matters when judging quality). It was built on pure non-sense defining the point-less action movies of this generation. However, everyone turned …
review by . June 30, 2011
posted in Movie Hype
Star Rating:         Why are they still making these movies? If you even think of coming back at me with, “Because they make money,” you no longer have permission to read my reviews. Even escapist movies that require no thought and have no message to send deserve good characters and decent dialogue, and they should at the very least be entertaining. Is that really so hard? For Michael Bay and his crew, especially his screenwriters, the answer is apparently …
review by . June 29, 2011
posted in Movie Hype
Transformers-Dark Of The Moon' 'Two Jews On Film' Are On Different Planets With This One (Video)
   By Joan Alperin Schwartz      'Transformers - Dark Of The Moon' presented in 3D is directed by Michael Bay.      First, I'll start with the good stuff.  And yes, there is 'good stuff'.  In fact, I think this is the best 'Transformers' of the series...which may or may not be saying much...depending on how you felt about the other two.      Here it goes...In no particular order...What I liked …
review by . June 29, 2011
posted in Picktainment
First off I should preface this by confessing that I am a big transformers fan: 1) I blame my brother for introducing me to the cartoon series at a young age and 2) I blame Michael Bay for making it look so badass to be a transforming robot.  I mean, let’s be honest here, Bay has created three films for a franchise that can now continue to grow by showing younger generations that “old” cartoons make for some pretty cool stories (and toys).      Granted, …
review by . July 05, 2011
posted in Movie Hype
15 - 157mins - Action/Adventure/Sci-Fi - 29th June 2011   Our summer of sequels continues with the Transformers returning to the big screen with their third outing. After the rather disappointing Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen I have to say that my hopes were not particularly high for this one.    Dark of the Moon is set several years after the second movie where Sam (Shia LaBeouf) is struggling to get a job and return his life to normal and yet this still hasn't stopped …
review by . July 02, 2011
posted in Movie Hype
Like a Lullaby, kinda.
TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON   Written by Ehren Kruger   Directed by Michael Bay   Starring Shia LaBeouf, Josh Duhamel, John Turturro, Frances McDormand, Patrick Dempsey and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley       Simmons: Years from now, they’re going to ask, “Where were you when they took over the planet?” We’re going to say, “We just stood by and watched.”       Before today, I would …
review by . July 07, 2011
posted in Movie Hype
Its the 1986 movie meets Revenge of the fallen.
A few months after Revenge of the Fallen hit theaters numerous rumors started to pop up about the third film in the franchise. One of the most prominent of them being that the Decepticon Unicron was going to be the featured antagonist. Although it was just a rumor it still got me super excited about this film. Even though i eventually found out Unicron wasn't going to be in the film the trailers and the supposed invasion of earth story line filled that gap.      Transformers …
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Transformers: Dark of the Moon is the third and final film in the Transformers film series, directed by Michael Bay and produced by Steven Spielberg. It is the sequel to Transformers and Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen and is scheduled for release on July 1, 2011, in Real D 3D, regular 2D theaters and IMAX.[1]

Shia LaBeouf, Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson and John Turturro are set to reprise their starring roles, with Peter Cullen returning as the voice of Optimus Prime. Ehren Kruger, who collaborated in the writing of the second film, was said to be again involved in the writing. Despite having initially been confirmed for the film,[2] and with the film already into principal photography, it was announced that Megan Fox would not be reprising her role from the previous two films. With Fox's character Mikaela being dropped, Sam was assigned a new love interest, who will be played by English model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. Also, Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman, having written the first two films, will not return for the third installment in the series,[3] which Orci had earlier somewhat anticipated, fearing the duo would "risk getting stale".[4] Bay has stated this would be his last installment in the series.[5]
 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transformers:_Dark_of_the_Moon
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Details

Director: Michael Bay
Genre: Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi
Release Date: 1 July 2011 (USA)
Screen Writer: Ehren Kruger
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