You may be familiar with this wonderful joke: What do light beer and having sex in a rowboat have in common? Answer: They're both fucking close to water. Miller Lite comes already having all three strikes against it: One, it's one of the giant, faceless signature brands from a country not known for mass-producing good beer. Shows what we get for living in a country founded by a bunch of damn puritans. Two: It's Miller. Three: It's a light beer. And when Miller advertises its famous "triple-hops-brewed," I'm almost certain that what they mean is they washed the hops down three times and soaked out all the flavor, because this shit really is close to water.