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Click: The Magic of Instant Connections

1 rating: 5.0
A book by Ori Brafman

A psychological investigation of the forces behind what makes us click with certain people, or become fully immersed in whatever activity or situation we're involved in. These kinds of peak experiences, when our senses are completely focused on the … see full wiki

Author: Ori Brafman
Genre: Business & Investing, Health, Mind & Body
Publisher: Crown Business
1 review about Click: The Magic of Instant Connections

How and why people become fully engaged with the world around them...or they don't

  • Aug 3, 2010
Rating:
+5
As indicated in their earlier book, Sway, the Brothers Brafman are fascinated by the fact that, in all manner of relationships, some people have far greater influence than do others. In this (their latest) book, they focus on "clicking" that "can be defined as an immediate, deep, and meaningful connection with another person or with the world around us...Clicking can be equally deep and meaningful between future friends and can strike in the most unlikely of places." They refer to these interactions as "magical moments" and as their extensive research suggests, those who experienced the moments by simply recalling them, "even years later, produced nearly identical levels of passion and intensity as the original experience."

The Brafmans identify and then examine (devoting a separate chapter to each) what they call "click accelerators": Vulnerability, Proximity Resonance, Similarity, and Safe Place. "At its core, each of the accelerators we've discussed works to break down that invisible barrier all of us have when walking down a crowded street or meeting a new person. Vulnerability helps to allow others into our lives while laying bare who we are. Physical proximity - even if we're not aware of it - encourages us to see the people around us as individuals rather than strangers. Physical closeness fosters emotional closeness. Resonance - connecting with those around us - encourages us to share that experience. In turn we start seeing others in a different light. And similarity helps to foster or facilitate a connection between two people, as relative strangers are seen as part of our in-group." With regard to Safe Place, as the Brafmans explain, there are changes that can help to create a healthier work environment and thereby improve morale, support a closer-knit workforce, increase active and productive engagement, and sustain a sense of solidarity, especially during an especially severe crisis.

The material provided in Chapter 7 was of special interest to me. The Brafmans share several real-world examples of people ("naturals") who are much better at forming quick-set intimacy. They are easy to connect with, to trust, to confide in, and seem to have a genuine interest in us. We feel special, appreciated, and respected. Certain people are "high self-monitors" with whom it is easy to click because they "modulate their behavior"" and adjust to each situation but without being fraudulent. In fact, "they are actually just as genuine and principled as everyone else...[and] their actions and behavior do not seem to be strategic." They gravitate toward a social or business network and thrive on social connections. My own take is that these "naturals" all possess highly-developed emotional intelligence in combination with an intuitive sense of how to interact with others with genuine enthusiasm and sincere appreciation.

Although the Brafmans characterize them as "naturals," they offer eight "key aspects of clicking" that will help each reader to increase and significantly improve the nature and extent of their own "instant connections" that will invest most (if not all) relationships and encounters with a "magic" they may otherwise lack.

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