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The Outlaw Bible of American Poetry

1 rating: -3.0
A book

Rounding up the poets least likely to show up on the banks of mainstream verse, this anthology makes the case that America's most exciting and freethinking poetry is being written outside of the confines of the academy and the genteel bookstore. Some … see full wiki

Tags: Books, Poetry
Genre: Poetry
Publisher: Basic Books
Date Published: October 26, 1999
1 review about The Outlaw Bible of American Poetry

A Guide to the Mating Calls of the Great American Jackass

  • Jun 20, 2001
Rating:
-3
Pros: Has plenty of spare paper to make fires

Cons: The writing on the paper

The Bottom Line: I wouldn't be caught dead in the same bookstore as a copy of this book.

I used to love poetry. Creative verses about knights, dragons, magic ponies, fairies, pokemon and other things that you might find in Tolkien or Harry Potter. And what really impressed me about the verses was that they rhymed! It was all very creative and clever.

But that was all back in the good old days, when I was just a kid reading kiddie poems. As time went on, I got older and started to read more adult poems, and the more adult poems I read, the more I longed for kiddie poems. Because 99.9% of the crap that passes for poetry these days is not very creative, nor does it rhyme. It all seems to be written by a bunch of tortured jackasses who are all too lazy to go out and find a real job and seem bent on torturing everyone around them. You know the stereotype: Pencil mustashe and goatee, sunglasses, cigarette, beret, and a pair of bongos in one hand while onstage speaking songs left over from the grunge era:
"I'm in so much pain"
(raps his bongos twice)
"I hate myself"
(raps his bongos again)
"How can I escape all this pain?"
(rap, rap)

Well, to all those REAL poets dedicated to fighting that stereotype, the publication of the Outlaw Bible of American Poetry has set your fight back ten years. It contains nothing but the above self-loathing jackasses senslessly rambling on about how they hate themselves within it's 685 pages. It's all very depressing, too. The amount of life in this book is summed up in one passage from Joe Brainard's poem, Death:
What is death? Death is IT.
Every poem in this book revolves around this theme in one way or another. They're all perfect suicide notes.

Since this book contains a lot of death, I feel obligated to mention that some of the work in here is done by the great overated, undertalented jackasses like Janis Joplin, James Dean and Tupac Shakur, who predicts his own death in his verse by saying:
I will die before my time because I already feel the shadow's depth
So if there's a single reason in Hell to buy this thing, it's just so you can confirm the fact that people who are famous for other things make lousy poets.

Other than that, there is no reason to buy this book because it is crap, the material in it is crap, and the contributors were probably crap who wrote poetry for the sole purpose of getting laid by women far hotter than any of them deserved. It's a waste of paper, money and time. If, by any chance, the still living contributors really are depressed, do the world a favor and just kill yourselves right now so we don't have to put up with any more of your so-called poetry.

Recommended:
No

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