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La Blue Girl

1 rating: -5.0
Erotic anime OVA from 1992-93
1 review about La Blue Girl

Make me want to clobber my younger self. 3%

  • Oct 17, 2011
Rating:
-5
Now with the title above, you may be thinking that I actually liked La Blue Girl in the past. Yes, I must confess that I actually liked this garbage in my early years as an anime fan, because of the fact that I was still fixated on the female anatomy, had terribly underdeveloped quality standards for the entertainment I watch, and haven't touched the female body yet, and had this weird fascination with animated pornography. Now that I've drastically grown up mentally and have had physical, intimate contact with the opposite sex (if it's meager), I want to go back in time so I could bludgeon the crap out of my younger self for actually liking this dog feces. I'll be flat-out honest here and say that going into the deepest recesses of my mind to remember LBG in order to properly review it wasn't pleasant at all.

STORY

The story for La Blue Girl is about a schoolgirl named Miko Mido, a ninja in training and one of the last remaining ninjas in the Miroku clan. She's under training from her grandmother to master ninja combat and "sex craft" (no, I didn't make that up). She practices "sex craft" to fight other ninjas, and along with enemy ninjas, she has to fight lots of tentacle monsters who want nothing more than to violate her and her friends.

LACK OF ORIGINALITY

Now after you digested the above story description, you're probably assuming that La Blue Girl is essentially a hentai knockoff of Devil Hunter Yokho. If so, you're correct, as both deal with young women being trained by their grandmothers to join the family in fighting monsters, except DHY is a fun and nostalgic piece of anime history (if not a masterpiece), while LBG is just painful to watch.

MATURE CONTENT AND TONAL INCONSISTENCY

I have to pair these two aspects together because they go hand-in-hand and perfectly illustrate how awful LBG is. With La Blue Girl being a hentai (pornographic anime), there's lots of sexual content in it that can be pretty brutal. There's lots of "naughty tenctacles" where you can see them penetrate girls' vaginas and mouths in plain view, plenty of male and female masturbation, some really weird stuff where Miko makes her "love button" grow into the shape and size of a penis to "combat" female ninjas, and some really sick, brutal stuff, particularly in this story-arc in OVAs 3 and 4 where many female ninjas are violated with a spiked-sex toy and killed. Aside from the sexual content, there's lots of bloody violence, but to be honest here, the way the gore looks in LBG makes the non-sexual violence look more fitting for an Itchy and Scratchy cartoon, so it's not really intimidating.

Now with all that said, La Blue Girl is plagued with one of the awful aspects of anime and hentai I loathe the most, tonal inconsistency. Yes, despite the fact that you see lots of female ninjas and schoolgirls being raped and sometimes killed in combat, you still see lots of cheap sexual gags and goofy, over-exaggerated facial expressions that totally kill whatever menacing vibe the mature content provided. In the same OVA where you see a bunch of tentacle monsters kidnap and rape and bunch of schoolgirls, you see Ninnin (Miko's ninja sidekick, who would look like a Jawa in a blue ninja outfit) peek up Miko's skirt then Miko goes berserk and punches him around with plenty of goofy faces and cartoony sound effects. You also see Ninnin do cheap sexual gags like peeking though a hole in the shower room in the girls' PE class, with him getting caught and Miko beating the snot out of him for it, followed by the girls grabbing each others' breasts before being taken away by a bunch of tentacle monsters. While I'm at it, who thought it was a brilliant idea to make Ninnin sound like Elmo from Sesame Street? All in all, while there's really nothing good in La Blue Girl to redeem it, it's this severe tonal whiplash that really brings it to the tremendously low rating I gave it.

It's sad that Wacky Deli and I Like Pink, which are cartoons made within Rocko's Modern Life and Ren and Stimpy (respectively), make absolutely no sense and are poorly-done visually speaking, but are much more hilarious than these "legitimate" attempts at comedy.

CHARACTERS

Toshio Maeda, the creator of La Blue Girl, loathes any notion of creativity, and that's included with the characters he creates. Of course, Miko has to be a clumsy schoolgirl and so many of the other female characters that populate the screen have to be schoolgirls as well, because that's what sells. Yaku and Fubuki, two other female ninjas who will eventually befriend Miko, are just as uninteresting. Yaku's only real noticeable traits are her large bust size and her better luck with getting laid than Miko, and Fubuki's only real noticeable traits are her small bust size and her extremely competitive nature.

APPEARANCE

With La Blue Girl being a hentai OVA made in 1992-93, it shows. The animation and artwork is pretty awful in some instances, while it's very mediocre most of the time. You get plenty of recycled cels, moving still images, and just really awful-looking imagery. The monsters in this look totally pathetic, in that they don't look scary at all and look like quick drawings done by a little kid, except that the monster illustrations done by the kid are more acceptable because that kid is just a little kid, but this is the combined effort of many adults. Also, in OVAs 5 and 6, Maeda rips of things from Paul Verhoeven's two best action movies, Robocop and Total Recall. He does this by making Fubuki's monster form have three breasts, undoubtedly influenced by the mutant prostitute from Total Recall. Also, given that cyborgs were all the rage in the early 90's, Maeda had to cash in on that as well by making most of the villains cyborgs, and it doesn't help that the head cyborg looks like a bad Robocop knockoff. I personally don't think the color scheme is appropriate for hentai, as it's mainly variations of pink, blue, and violet; which would be more fitting for an anime geared for young girls like Sailor Moon, but not for something for adult males.

BAD STORYTELLING

La Blue Girl has some pretty awful storytelling, as certain loose ends in the story arcs don't get resolved. For example, Miko's grandmother gets killed by a member of a rival ninja clan (I think the clan is named the Suzuka), but you don't see Miko try to plan out killing the guy or finding out more about it. Also, in the second OVA, two members of the Suzuka clan are introduced (forgot their names), and when you think they'll be of any significance later on, you never see or hear from them after that OVA ends.

FINAL WORD

La Blue Girl is one of the best known and popular hentai titles out there, and I truly think that if one wants to dive into the medium, that they avoid this one like a swarm of tranny hookers in Detroit infected with AIDS, because this contains all the worst aspects of it, and Maeda wouldn't improve at all later on, as all the awful things LBG would be known for would carry on in that other hentai abomination Twin Angels and some other LBG spinoffs and revivals.

Strangely enough, I collected 11 of the 12 La Blue Girl comics printed by Bare Bear Press (a branch of the now defunct Central Park Media) back in the day, which while still nothing great, is far better than the hentai OVA it's based off of because it had better artwork, more developed characters, more coherent storytelling, and the people in charge actually took the project seriously. If you HAVE to have something with the La Blue Girl name in it, those comics should be it (I don't know if there's a collected edition of such comics).

I say if you want to watch hentai, do avoid La Blue Girl and check out these much more worthwhile titles.

Cool Devices Vol 1, 2, and 4
Bible Black (including its spinoffs, New Testament and Only)
Last Train to Gropesville
Chains of Lust
School of Masochists
Bondage 101
Spy of Darkness
Alien from the Darkness

La Blue Girl is an abomination to both the erotic and animated worlds.

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October 23, 2011
This was....well....pretty bold for its time. Yet I heard in Asia, this was pretty common. I have to admit I own the set, (Though I haven't seen it again since then). I liked this a tad better than "Overfiend" I think, but they're just so filled with raunchy scenes and the story was....well...just there as an excuse to get to the raunchiness LOL! Have you seen the live action version of this?
October 23, 2011
I haven't seen the live-action version of this, and I really have no ambition to do so...unless if it's something entertaining to watch while you're really drunk.
October 24, 2011
LOL! I saw the live-action trilogy after I went bar-hopping so I guess that is why I liked it.
 
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