I received a phone call shortly after 8.00am on Monday 23rd April, saying your Mum would be arriving that day, apparently between the hours of 2-4pm - but I had been burnt by this kind of Mum delivery delivery before.
Skeptical or not, I had to arrange for someone to be in to take collection of her as I was at work, the digital advertising wont sell itself (at least not for a few more years anyway).
At 3:52pm my Wife called to say that she had indeed received your Mum, she had signed the necessary paperwork and left her in the garage for me. She now had to collect our child who by this time would have been waiting outside the school gates - vulnerable, alone and wet for the lions share of an hour.
Obviously I was excited in anticipation of unwrapping your Mum, so my journey home seemed to take twice as long as usual. I photographed three sleeping strangers on route including a well dressed elderly lady who most certainly 'still had it going on'.
On arrival I poured myself a cool drink and with some trepidation entered the garage to find a large box twitching next to my unused mountain bike.
I unpacked the extremely well wrapped Mum and using the fairly clear instructions assembled her, as with all these things there were a few parts left over - I made the assumption these were just spares.
I have sampled my fair share of Mum's over the years, and as with all Mum's yours does have her faults (we will come on to those later) - however on balance after the first couple of hours of putting her through her paces I was pleased with your Mum. I found her to be small, manageable and accommodating to my needs.
If I could make changes (and you know what they say about old dogs and new tricks) I would give her softer hands, her years of bricklaying and general labouring have been tough on her hands, and to be honest while I wouldn't question her personal hygiene she is not the most fragrant of ladies that have been delivered to me.
Overall, I would certainly recommend your Mum to others, siting her tolerance and sense of humour as her most appealing qualities. Very few women of her age have been able to deal with the 'pillowcase thing' and hold meaningful conversation about youth culture.
She is most definitely 'down with the kids'.
Overall it would be fair to say I was pleased with your Mum - *** three stars some funny bits.