Horror film released in 2004, directed by James Wan
Sylvia (Kristin Davis of SEX AND THE CITY) ditches her boyfriend at a bar located upon a long stretch of highway. A friendly trucker (Meat Loaf Aday) offers to help her with a ride to the next town. Sylvia soon discovers that the cargo being hauled is … see full wiki
I don't know what possesses me to watch bad movies. Maybe it is just sheer boredom. Maybe it is horror that good actors actually do these HORRIBLE movies even after they have established themselves as somewhat of a celebrity. I don't know.
Blacktop is the worst movie that I have seen since Teenage Caveman, and that's pretty bad. What is shocking is the fact that good actors are in the three principal roles of this film! Kristin Davis (Charlotte on Sex in the City) plays the only leading lady, Sylvia. David, Sylvia's boyfriend, is played by Lochlyn Munro (who has a list of impressive credits). And the villian is played by none other than Meat Loaf Aday.
See? All good actors. At least the casting directors, Elaine J. Huzzar and Coreen Mayrs, were on the ball. However, no one else was.
Like most movie plots, I'm sure this one looked terrific on paper. A young woman, Sylvia (Davis), and her boyfriend, David (Munro), get into an argument while on a road trip. Sylvia takes the oh-so-mature route and decides to try to hitch-hike back home. A deranged trucker, Jack (Meat Loaf), gives her the scariest ride of her life. He plays this game where David must prove that he is worthy of Sylvia and vice versa by stopping his truck before they get to the Turnpike. Sylvia tries to get away at various points and David gets too aggressive for Jack's liking, so they are given "penalties" for not playing by Jack's rules. The penalties are usually in the form of innocent people being killed.
Don't get me wrong. Meat Loaf, Munro and Davis are all great actors. Meat Loaf plays a terrific villain. But the dialogue is SO BAD!!! I mean, Nicholson wouldn't be able to pull this crap off. It was just plain painful. It was very short, almost Mamet-esque, at points. The phone conversations between Jack and David were ridiculous and completely unbelievable. And the dialogue between Sylvia and David are just plain cheesy.
Kristin Davis is a good actress, in my humble opinion. And she's really cute. But, she plays such the stereotypical female victim in this movie that it's sickening. At one point, for example, she is able to run away. What does she do? Climb some sort of water tower so that she could call her boyfriend. Of course, Jack catches her and gives her a penalty of her own (which I will not spoil, just in case you DO watch the movie.)
The majority of the movie takes place in Jack's truck. So, to be believable, the cinematography is quite bumpy. SO bumpy, in fact, that I found myself getting a wee bit carsick. It's too dark in some scenes and too bright in others. Time to go back to film school...
If you have HBO, you'll probably come across Blacktop sooner or later. It is after all, an HBO movie. This would have lasted one showing at the movie theater.
If you do come across Blacktop, keep on going. Really. It isn't worth your time. But, it does teach us a lesson: Don't accept rides from strangers. (Good grief.)
Video Occasion: None of the Above
Suitability For Children: Not suitable for Children of any age
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