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Carnosaur 3: Primal Species

1 rating: -3.0
A movie directed by Jonathan Winfrey

After a special Army task force is assigned to retrieve some mysterious cargo--whose contents are classified--they find the cargo is alive...and deadly. Yes, it's those flesh-eating, genetically rigged dinosaurs, back for a third course of screaming … see full wiki

Director: Jonathan Winfrey
Release Date: 1996
MPAA Rating: R
1 review about Carnosaur 3: Primal Species

Carnosaur 3: Primal Species - do I keep my promises or what?

  • Jan 1, 2002
Rating:
-3
Pros: I think this is the end

Cons: There is an extensive list

The Bottom Line: Nothing, nada, zip


The Oracle says: Terri J. Vaughn has a Bacon number of 2.
Terri J. Vaughn was in Black Scorpion II: Aftershock (1996) with David (I)
Harris
David (I) Harris was in Quicksilver (1986) with Kevin Bacon ****

I don't make em kids, I just watch em.

As promised, I watched the third and, hopefully, final segment of this abhorrent schlock known as Carnosaur. I have been rethinking my own theory about enumerating phase movies because this particular series of lame brained video does contain the same dinosaur (actually, I think they are Raptors) and Roger Corman is behind all three releases, and Rick Dean is still around. Of course he gets killed in every release, but he comes back in the next movie as a new person. Ah, Hollywood!

Surprise, surprise ..... , we aren't underground with this group of flesh munchers. The army is transporting the cryogenically preserved fellows from ‘here' to ‘there' (where they are going is never explained) and the vehicle gets hijacked by a group of terrorists that believe it is a load of uranium or some such, but they quickly learn the error of their ways.

First, I might mention that this attack took place in some deserted area, looking for all the world like the middle of the desert, but it is supposed to be Los Angeles. I've been to LA, it doesn't look like this. Second, letting lose a truckload of these guys in LA would bring about the largest group of police you have ever seen, but instead it is investigated by two lone policemen - and this only after a previous policeman is killed. Excuse me, but even in Ohio, when a fellow officer goes down, the other policemen swarm all over. But these are just my observations.

you know, the basic story is the same ..... only the names have been changed to protect the innocent. We have the basic alluring female, Dr. Hodges (Janet Dunn) that wants to save the darling reptiles, and the opposing forces lead this time by Rance (Scott Valentine) and his (cleaning throat) anti-terrorists squad.

One squad member is the infamous Rick Dean who is known as Polchek in this release and Monk in Carnosaur 2. He plays the same basic part - wise cracking, male chauvinist, dumb as a nail person. In both movies he gets not only eviscerated but also beheaded, yet here he was in #3. Of course, he was a different person, silly me.

the dinos always get lose ..... and someone comes along to save the day. This time swaggering Rance and lithesome Dr. Hodges, along with the crew, load the dinos up on a cargo ship and take them to sea in order to freeze them and sink the ship. Naturally the little buggers kill off the entire crew except for our two heros, who manage to blow up the ship and escape at the last possible moment by jumping into the ocean. With no life raft. With no radio to contact help. With no way to get back to shore. But at least they got away from the dinosaurs. Or did they?

meanwhile, back in LA ......

There are two points to make about this movie, and the series in general. The more movies that were made about these creatures, the less they showed the creatures. Perhaps even they realized that they were the worse excuse for dinosaurs that ever existed, especially since this came out the same time as that Jurassic thing. The bad thing about this idea, though, is we are now relying on the actors to carry off the movie.

Personally, if I had my druthers, I'd take the thing full of those miserable dinos because I know they aren't real and therefore aren't responsible for their actions in the movie. These live actors, and I use the term loosely, couldn't act their way out of a wet paper bag. Just my take.

Instead of getting better, the special effects are getting worse. The ripped and maimed bodies laying around looked every bit like showroom dummies. The dialogue gets progressively worse as they go along and more and more we see shades lf Aliens in the movie. Lighting is morose and camera action reminds me of home movies done bad.

It's been since 1996, I think we are free to assume that Corman has had his fill of this particular group of menacing actors, oops, I mean dinosaurs, and has moved on to other schlock. As they say, quantity my dears is no substitute for quality.

Written by Scott Sandin, director Jonathan Winfrey, producer Roger Corman. This is a New Horizons Home Video production, 81 minutes, objectionable for children.

Thanks,
Susi

****Compliments of: Department of Computer Science
School of Engineering, University of Virginia

I would like to invite you to a MOVIE write off, hosted by SurgRN911 in honor of her second Epinions anniversary. Somehow she has talked me into co-hosting this thing.

"Personally, I ignored my 2nd", I said groveling for attention - it's today, it's today, it's today .... oops, sorry, I digress.

Contact either Surg or I for details





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