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Dark Floors

1 rating: -4.0
A movie directed by Pete Riski
1 review about Dark Floors

Goddamn monsters in them damn dark floors....

  • Apr 29, 2011
Rating:
-4
* out of ****

Horror films are such delicate things. They must be handled by capable filmmakers, and they must either be entertaining, scary, or beautiful. "Dark Floors", however, is a horror film in which only one word applies: ugly. Here's a movie that qualifies as one of the two worst kinds of horror movies, the first being "remake", and the second being "a horror movie that builds, builds, builds and manages to do absolutely nothing". Luckily, only the second one really applies.

Guy and his autistic little girl get stuck in a Mental Hospital with some other random people. Everyone else is dead, yet they're not alone. Guy tries to be hero, and gets pissed whenever someone else, from the group, attempts to steal his torch. Enter supernatural monsters, and I think you've got yourself a horror movie. The plot moves along as the director probably thought it should, although it's all build-up until the climax. The build-up isn't interesting, and I came very close to turning this thing off. And then I figured, there must be some payoff. Boy, was I wrong.

This film sins by not explaining too much. It's good when a horror film makes you use your imagination, but you can't imagine story-telling. I kept asking myself strange questions, one of them being: Why are these reptilian/demon monster-things wearing what looks like a radical "chain"? If you WANT to ask unnecessary questions that will never be answered, then maybe "Dark Floors" is for you. However, it's fairly insulting to me; as it is not poorly made, necessarily, just poorly written, acted, and conceived. This is what they mean when they say "Direct-to-video" in a very negative sense. No kidding; this is pretty bad. It's dumb, ugly, and fails to satisfy on any given level. Simply put, not scary, not entertaining, and worst of all; not at all fun. This film has officially sinned as only most modern horror films can.

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