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Hammerhead

1 rating: -1.0
A movie directed by Michael Oblowitz

Director Michael Oblowitz's HAMMERHEAD is a horror movie reminiscent of Renny Harlin's DEEP BLUE SEA and Peter Benchley's THE BEAST. Here, a scientist creates a monster after undertaking some stem cell research. Believing that fusing the … see full wiki

Director: Michael Oblowitz
Release Date: 2004
MPAA Rating: Unrated
1 review about Hammerhead

Hammerhead: Shark Frenzy - 2005

  • Sep 6, 2009
Rating:
-1
Pros: Hunter Tylo/wet tee shirt, that's all I'm saying

Cons: it boggles the mind

The Bottom Line: No actual sharks were use to procreate with humans in this movie

Hammerhead: Shark Frenzy was brought to you by Shriek Productions which seem hellbent for leather to out do Asylum for tacky and tasteless movies. I’ll just start out with this concept: they [‘they’ being mad scientists once again] are trying to get a shark to procreate with a human. ‘Nuf said.

No, you didn’t read it wrong … they wanted a shark and human to have a celestial union and hope the offspring would save the world. Now the theory is pretty good, they are using stem cell research and the idea was that the end result would justify the means. Just tell that to the women [no mention where these women came from] that were treated to this love making debacle and then the delivery of a shark/man baby. It simply wasn’t a pretty sight, but I’ve jumped ahead in the story so let me go back to the rather inglorious beginning.

As with all movies of this type, [ shark feeding movies] we have the buff couple having a romantic sail near an uncharted island. Naturally they jump in for a swim, naturally they become shark food. Never mentioned again and the only reason, at least I think, they must have been in the movie is because they either [a] wrote the script, [b] are backing the film, or [c] are related by blood or marriage to someone in power dealing with the film. And why is the island always uncharted?

We flash next to some bio-chem or the like pharmaceutical lab and a hot, tasty dish in skin tight clothes talking on the phone. She bears a likeness to Janine Turner but this babe is Hunter Tylo and dripping sex from every pore of her body. But she is ‘all professional’ too, and I don’t mean “A Pro” but business wise. That is until the head of the IT department sloughs into her office. There to repair her broken computer or something - right - and plants a wet one right on her mouth. Looking at these two together you are immediately struck with the thought “You can’t help who you fall in love with”.

Mr. IT is Tom Reed, played by William Forsythe. He is a pudgy little guy and we later discover [during their perils on the island] that he has manboobs and done-lap disease. After a bunch of mindless rambling which I kinda blocked out, we find the lithe biologist played by Hunter, manboobs Forsythe, and the dowdy company president played by Arthur Roberts and a couple of other people that I’m not sure who the frig they were but one was Roberts overblown girlfriend, about 30 years his junior and leaning a little more to the “Pro” side of life, all hopping on a plane and heading for self-same uncharted island owned by their former colleague, Dr. Demento … sorry, Dr. King, played gloriously and with much camp by Jeffrey Combs.

Prior to arriving at the island tension sets in between manboobs and biologist when it is disclosed she was formerly engaged to Paul, son of Dr. King, who apparently died of kidney failure/cancer/ something. Hence, Dr. Demento’s trip into stem cell research … blah, blah, blah….

Of course, what they don’t know is Paul is still alive, if you can call it that, in the guise of Sharkboy, or Hammerhead if you wish. I will mention Hammerhead was played by Antony Argirov. Another thing I’d like to bring up, when did sharks start growling? Just curious. I’ve noticed it lately in several movies.

Now this movie was hit with an R rating for violence. You never see the actual shark attacks. Hell, you never see the actual shark. You do see some blood floating in the water or spilled on land [did I mention he can live on land, compliments of his human DNA] and body parts floating or laying about, but no actual shark footage per se. There is a lot of shooting and bombing because apparently Dr. Demento has an endless supply of army folks available and weapons. Not that they are very accomplished because Manboobs and Biologist [very enticing in a wet teeshirt I might add] seem rather proficient for desk types when it comes to fighting. In fact, Manboobs turns into Rambo and biologist turns into Sarah Connor from Terminator.

Well, one could go on forever about the quality of this movie and script. Or not. It was written by Kenneth M. Badish and Boaz Davidson, apparently after an extremely drug induced weekend. Directed by Michael Oblowitz. No awards. I know, you’re shocked. But not as shocked as you’d be had you actually sat through the movie and later question … WHY?

Thanks,
Susi

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