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Langoliers

1 rating: -3.0
A movie directed by Tom Holland

Ten passengers on a red-eye flight from L.A. to Boston fall hopelessly out of sync with their own time. Based on the novella from "Four Past Midnight" by Stephen King.

Director: Tom Holland
Release Date: 1995
MPAA Rating: PG-13
1 review about Langoliers

Langoliers~Ya could feed Bosnia........

  • Dec 18, 2000
Rating:
-3
Pros: Pinchot

Cons: ..........

Turkeys, turkeys everywhere and not a fork to be had. An admitted Kinghead, I give each of his epics a fair shot. Sometimes two fair shots - now, where is my canon?

The Turkey aka Let's feed a third world country

Ah, the Langoliers, those Pac-Man induced look alikes. Ah,,,,the really poor acting, the really bad script, the really bad directing. Ah,,,,will it ever end?

Hop on a plane from L.A. (San Fran? somewhere in CA) and head for Boston, but don't fall asleep ~ or rather, do. Sleeping, you stand a chance of staying alive. This group wakes to find everyone else on the plane gone.

Amidst a good deal of controversy they land in Bangor, Maine, to find everyone gone there as well. In truth, no one is "gone", they are just in a time warp, moving at a different speed than the sleeping survivors.

While on the ground in Maine the truth comes out, courtesy of blind passenger Kate Maberly, who delves into the twisted mind of fellow passenger Bronson Pinchot. Pinchot, in a fit of rage stabs her (she doesn't die by the way) and then kills another passenger, uh, the pilot BTW. In the background is the constant sound of the Langoliers ~ probably the only good thing about the movie, other than Pinchot ~ heralding their approach.

The decision is made to get back into the plane, return to CA and perhaps pass through the same black hole so all will be well. Of course, in order to do this, everyone must go to sleep again, except the pilot ~ a newly adopted position by mob hitman Mark Lindsay Chapman ~ seeing as how we have lost the original pilot, David Morse, to Pinchot's maniacal ways.

Thoroughly disgusted with Pinchot, the passengers board without him and the last we see of him is when he becomes dinner to the voracious Langoliers. Kudos!

OK, do they land safely? Do they find CA the way they left it? Do the ever munching Langoliers catch up with their little piece of sky? Does Mark Chapman live to tell the tale? Are they still flying aimlessly to this day? Does anyone care??????

The Passengers, The Crew and The Langoliers

The Langoliers:
those evil time munchers. So far removed from true science fiction mumbo-jumbo as to be funny. As opposed to greats like the Alien dude, flying Godzilla, and even the irrepressible ghosts in Ghostbusters, the Langoliers su@k huge wind. Their only redeeming quality is their sound and the suspense of NOT seeing them. Once seen you say "I spent 3 hours waiting for THIS?!?!?"......pfffttt!!!

Kate Maberly: this little girl does the best she can with what she's given. She does play the part of a blind girl quite well though, even if she is a little spooky with her powers.

Patricia Wetting: plays her usual Lifetime TV for Women role. Nothing spectacular yet nothing offensive ~ blah might be the correct term.

Dean Stockwell: attempts his usual good guy to the rescue ~ flat.

Mark Lindsay Chapman: hit man with a heart? aren't we pushing it here? ~ bland.

King: his usual cameo, can't always find him but he is always there somewhere, but the show really belongs to -

Bronson Pinchot: vampid, eyes rolling deliriously in his head, campy, cocky, cartoonish and oh, so evil.

In all I believe the actors did the best they could with this boorish script by Tom Holland (who also directed) - Hell, the novella wasn't even all that good in the first place - but, Lordy, did it HAVE to last 3 hours?

You can feel Hollywood aching to adapt King to the screen but I am hard pressed to bring to mind a single movie, other than Green Mile, that has done King justice. He is the master of the adjective, no one else can describe a scene as thoroughly as he, but you cannot condense his work into two hours or even a mini-series. Why is that I wonder? Is he so bizarre that even the most accomplished actor cannot convey his words or is he so bizarre that they don't want to?

fini <insert muted golf clap here>



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