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Miner's Massacre (2003)

1 rating: -1.0
A movie directed by John Carl Buechler
1 review about Miner's Massacre (2003)

There's Gold (And Gore) In Them Thar Hills!

  • Jun 23, 2006
You know you've made it in cheesy B-cinema whenever your flick gets picked up by the SciFi channel. "Miner's Massacre" is one of those chosen few. SciFi flicks are of two kinds: 1)decent flicks with small budgets and even smaller stars or 2)just flat out awful. "Miner's Massacre" falls into this second group. It's the tale of a bunch of nubile twentysomethings who head off into the mountains to seek out an old mine that's full of gold. Of course, by finding the gold they unleash the fury of Jeremiah Stone, claim jumper, rapist, cannibal, and all-around nasty dude. He's awakened from his evil slumber whenever the brother of one of the main characters finds his stash and sends half of a map to his sister to let her know that there is in fact gold in them thar hills. When the sister arrives, with boyfriend and others in tow, the hackin' and slashin' kicks off big time.

I have to admit that there are some pretty decents kills in this flick. The miner is actually a pretty mean looking fellow and the actor who portrays him does a decent job in the role. The special effects aren't that shabby either.

The main complaint I have with this film is that the actors in it are just horrible. There's a geeky dude named Axl, who loses his girlfriend right at the beginning of this flick when she sees him holding hands with a local named Eve. Sure, Eve's pretty, but she has a horrible "redneck" accent that completely destroys her character. The rest of the gang are typical of films such as these. They all overact, wear skimpy clothes, and seem to abandon all sense of logic in making decisions.

Of course, there are the token cameos by little known or forgotten actors such as Jeff Conaway, Karen Black, and character actor Martin Kove.

If you decide to watch this flick, be prepared to get a typical hacker B-flick with only minimal repeat viewing potential. As stated before, the mad miner is a really cool idea and he has some wonderful kills, but it's just not enough to save this snoozer.

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