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Requiem For A Vampire

2 Ratings: 1.0
A movie directed by Jean Rollin

REQUIEM FOR A VAMPIRE begins with two beautiful women in clown costumes fleeing an unknown assailant in a car on a country road. After a shootout, and a brush with premature burial, the girls seek shelter in a spooky castle. After they share an erotic … see full wiki

Director: Jean Rollin
Release Date: 1971
MPAA Rating: R
1 review about Requiem For A Vampire

Vierges et vampires (1971) Virgin Vampires? Please! Give me a break

  • Jan 4, 2003
Pros: not a single one of them was a pro

Cons: possibly since they were shooting at the police

The Bottom Line: ..

YES, I’m telling the whole dang story if I have the stomach for it. This movie was released in 1971 and no one has had the nads to review it yet so I really don’t think I’m bursting anyone’s bubble here, now am I?

No seriously, this was how I heralded in 2003, cozy on the sofa, popcorn, and virgin vampires. This movie has it all - young high school girls as virgin lesbian lovers, clowns, car chases, decomposing corpses, vampires, rape, naked bodies, lots of bare breasts, fully exposed female genitalia, bondage, and least I forget, stupidity. That would be with a capital “S”.

The opening scene is never explained - two cars barreling down the country roads [with cows no less], one car obviously contains police of some sort and the other? Some driver dude and two clowns. Two female clowns in the most outlandish costumes I’ve seen, one shooting at the police car through the busted rear window. These would be our virgin lesbian lovers - sigh - but we don’t know that yet.

The driver gets shot but remarkably they manage to escape the police by turning down a dirt road. The police are right behind them but apparently they don’t notice the plume of dirt and dust billowing in the air? He begins one of the absolute worst death scenes I’ve seen enacted which culminates in the clowns dowsing him and the car in gasoline and setting it ablaze.

Short time out
Not only is the death scene just deplorable, but as they dowse him with gasoline he flinches - twice. Now he has been dead for quite a period of time because they drove to another location. If he was going to react this way, why the living Hell did the camera man do a close up? And after seeing him flinch, why didn’t they edit that out or make him redo the scene? I’m sorry, it’s stuff like this that just rankles my last raw nerve.
Time out over and back to the stunning movie

After walking for like forever, they come upon a motorcycle they have stashed away. Don’t ya think they would have burnt the car up a little closer to where they had hidden the bike? Still in their damn clown suits [they are quite nice ones, I will say that] they come to some abandoned water tower where they change their clothes, still hocking their clown outfits with them. And, although there appears no sign of any place to clean up, they have remarkably removed all their damn makeup. No longer clowns in clown suits, but clowns just the same, if you get my drift.

Why they do this I haven’t a clue, but they head to the cemetery, after abandoning their bike and starting out on foot again. And this is just about the point that they loose me.

Well, truthfully, I had pretty much given up on the movie by now anyway, think about it!

But back to the cemetery, vampires, sex and lesbian lovers
The idiots break into a castle. Well, technically they didn’t break in since there were no doors on it any longer, but they did travel around the place and, oh my, happen across a wonderful fluffy bed covered in fur. What do ya think they did? Took off those clothes and started rolling around on this lovely fur covered mattress of course. When, oh dear, they hear a noise. They appear surprised that someone might actually be IN this place.

Ya know, I just can’t go any further. This movie just blew huge chunks.

The movie was in French with English subtitles. Don’t worry about missing any of the snappy dialogue, in the first 15 minutes the only word spoken was by the dying driver when he stutters, ‘Water tower’. You then go easily another ½ hour before any spoken words. There are a few grunts and groans, especially during the pseudo rape scenes in the dungeon. Overall, there are 24 sentences or partial sentences spoken in the entire movie. This is strictly an ‘action’ driven movie [clearing throat].

Our two lesbian virgins in clown suits have about 4 sentences between them, they spend the rest of the movie running up and down stairs and through the forest. Most of the time naked or partially clothed. One of them sacrifices her maidenhead on a sandy rock in order to NOT become a vampire. I might mention that she forgets to make the appropriate noise or reaction when the gentleman ‘enters’ her until the act is almost done.

The main vampire is just plain unattractive. What happened to that suave and debonair demeanor that vampires put forth? Not only unattractive but a damn ugly set of teeth as well. For some reason, due to age or whatever, he is losing his powers and can’t turn anyone into a real vampire, although he is trying and he's dying. Hence the title, I guess.

His followers, two nasty babes in gold lamé and billowing capes, don’t actually swoon over their prey but attack like vultures. Swoop, suck, leave - just unprofessional as far as I’m concerned. They have 3 or 4 dirty, filthy, overweight, hairy, nasty men in their legion and it is obvious that this is the absolutely only way these brutes would ever get any pooty tang cause no woman in her right mind would let them touch them. So they chain women up in the dungeon and have their way with them.

Speaking of which, about these chained women. Five women and only one set of real breasts in the lot. Hairy armpits for those that care, and I won’t bother to mention what or where the bats decide to suckle on these women. Gives a whole new meaning to bat cave. Use what is left of your imagination.

Music? Don’t even think about it. The high point was that it was so intrusive that it scared my cat and he went running from the room. Smart cat. Loud screeching noises, crashes, just awful.

Camera work? I cannot comment. I was taught if you can’t say something nice ..........

Oh, and back to the cemetery
One of the bimbos, the dark haired one who I think is Mireille Dargent, falls into an open grave. Along come the grave diggers, or in this case, the grave fillers. Two dudes, one shovel, you do the math. They don’t even look into the grave but start shoveling the dirt in [although it is plainly obvious from the camera angle that the shoveler is staring into the grave each time he drops a load of soil] and cover up the dumb wench. Now they only work about [I keep saying THEY but only one dude was working, government workers I guess] ten shovel loads but holy moly, the grave is almost filled. They crack a bottle of wine and leave, saying they will come back the next day.

Ok raise of hands here, does anyone know how heavy soil is? Especially damp clay based soil? So here she is, sprawled face down and unconscious on the casket in the bottom of the grave, what, 6' down? Covered with 6' of damp soil and here comes her arm out of the soil. And blonde, equally dumb, friend Marie-Pierre Castle pulls her from the grave. PULLS HER FROM THE GRAVE BY ONE ARM. Aw geez - and the wench isn’t even dirty. Not even her white knee socks.

This tripe was written and directed by Jean Rollin. Someone on IMDB.com stated that this was his best and held a high ranking in his oeuvre. What the Hell does that mean? This movie was known by many names - Caged Vampires, Caged Virgins, Crazed Vampire, Crazed Virgins, Dungeon of Terror, Requiem for a Vampire, Requiem pour un vampire, Sex Vampires, Virgins and Vampires, Virgins and the Vampires. I can think of a few of my own but I’ll leave them out.

It starred Marie-Pierre Castel, Mireille Dargent, Philippe Gasté (Vampire), Dominique Louise Dhour, Michel Delesalle, Antoine Mosin, Agnès Petit, Olivier François and Dominique Toussaint who went on to produce movies on her own.



Suitability For Children: Not suitable for Children of any age

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