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Spiders II: Breeding Ground

1 rating: -3.0
A movie directed by Sam Firstenberg

After a boating accident, Jason and Alexandra are rescued by Dr. Grbac (Richard Moll), who commands a mysterious floating medical lab. While snooping around the boat, Jason discovers freezer full of dead bodies. Before long, the unsuspecting young couple … see full wiki

Director: Sam Firstenberg
Release Date: 2001
MPAA Rating: R
1 review about Spiders II: Breeding Ground

Spiders II: Breeding Ground - scary sex

  • Mar 10, 2003
Rating:
-3
Pros: wait, I'm thinking

Cons: 15 words? HA!

The Bottom Line: ......


Did I watch Spiders I? I’m not sure and I really don’t have the interest in checking to see if I reviewed it. That’s how poor Spiders II: Breeding Ground is. Not a particular fan of the arachnid species anyway, I really don’t know what possesses me to watch these creepy crawlies. Well, other than the fact that they are so funny, I guess I have no real excuse.

Spiders II: Breeding Ground was directed by Sam Firstenberg and written by Stephen David Brooks. The only ‘star’ I recognized from the credits was Richard Moll who played Dr. Gabec. I certainly would have never known it was him otherwise. No bald head and Night Court demeanor in this movie friends.

I should probably also make note that Velimer Velev played the spider. I don’t know which one, you would normally assume the biggest and baddest, but they were all big and bad except the newborn babies. I don’t want to discuss THAT birthing process but I might hint that ‘breeding ground’ has nothing to do with nests or webs but rather the normal ‘breeding’ area associated with humans. I don’t think I need to go into that scenario.

Breed this big guy
The entire movie takes place on some old dilapidated cargo ship somewhere around 600 miles off the shore of Oahu. The first shots showing our stars, the darling Alexandra and the playful Jason, on their sailboat, drifting at sea and just having a good old time. They run across a burnt out vessel and discover a dead body. They would stay around and investigate but – uh oh – a storm lurks on the horizon. A big ‘un too.

Naturally their boat swamps and they get rescued by the big bad cargo ship and its big bad cargo. At first everything seems normal, actually a little too normal. Poor Jason got a boo-boo and the doctor on board, Dr. Gabec, tends to the wound and gives him a ‘shot’ for the infection. Hmmmmmm ….. the suspense builds because Jason gets worse and needs more shots and there is a lot of cryptic talking between the captain, the doctor, and the crew members. Also, there IS that freezer full of dead bodies and the doctor’s assistant, Simmons, that rolls carts around with bloody corpses on it that kind of rouses our suspicions that something might not be too good here.

It’s your basic gene spliced/altered creature flick with the mad scientist and the love story thing. The captain gets a set of hornies for Alexandra and almost succeeds, but as bad boys too long at sea often do, he jumps the gun before he gets to jump her bones.

Welcome to the nursery little boy
Definitely the best part of the movie was watching poor Jason get his pregnancy test and Alexandra turn into Linda Hamilton from T-2 trying to defend and rescue her man. I must say the spiders offered nothing but comic relief from an otherwise horrible movie.

In its defense though, the camera work was good and the ship interiors were decent.

Laying an egg
It should have been more, it had the potential. Richard Moll was a surprise but his lines were just terrible. Daniel Quinn as Captain Bigelow, the horny beast, why you almost expected him to wiggle his eyebrows everytime he spoke to Alexandra. He was cute as a button though. Harel Noff played the corpse toting Simmons and looked a bit like a specimen for the TB ward himself. Other than a bad smoking habit, he spoke rarely, he was too busy feeding the spiders all those bodies.

I was torn on Stephanie Niznik. She was supposed to be smart and savvy but she acted so stupid. And why she stayed with that limpdick Jason I’ll never know. Speaking of limpdick, Greg Cromer as Jason – shame on you and your pitiful self. Grow a set man or change your name to Nancy.

Rated R for violence and gore, language and nudity, are you surprised?

Thanks,
Susi

Recommended:
No

Suitability For Children: Not suitable for Children of any age

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