“I can't stand this movie. Not even Jessica Biel in a cowboy hat can save this movie. Sadism does not equate horror.”
#3 of 14 from
My worst horror/sci-fi movie remakes.
“I’m not exactly enthralled by this remake, but it’s hardly a bad one. The biggest problem is that it’s more gory than scary. Well, actually the biggest problem is Jessica Biel. …”
#10 of 10 from
Top 10 Horror Remakes
The 2003 version ofThe Texas Chainsaw Massacreadheres to the pure and simple slasher movie formula: Introduce a gaggle of sexy young people, make vague gestures to distinguish them--Jessica Biel (Summer Catch) wants to get married and doesn't like pot, so she's our moral compass--then start hacking them to pieces one by one. The visual palette includes grimy crucified dolls, fly-specked pig carcasses, body parts floating in murky jars, a tobacco-chewing redneck sheriff, and many slender beams of sunlight cutting through dank, dusty interiors. The camera lovingly photographs Biel's tank-topped bosom and sculpted abs as she's running in terror from a bloated, chainsaw-wielding, human-skin-wearing maniac. This remake lacks the macabre comedy of the original; it's all about the nauseating sensation of waiting for something to jump out of the dark. Also featuring Eric Balfour (Six Feet Under) and R. Lee Ermey (Full Metal Jacket,Mail Call).--Bret Fetzer