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Under Lock and Key

1 rating: -3.0
A movie directed by Henri Charr

An FBI agent goes undercover in a tough women's prison to gain the confidence of a drug dealer's ex-girlfriend. When the ex is killed and her cover is blown, the dealer kidnaps her daughter and forces a climactic encounter.

Cast: Taylor Leigh
Director: Henri Charr
Release Date: 1994
MPAA Rating: R
1 review about Under Lock and Key

Butt cheeks, shaved beavers and perky nipples

  • Jul 22, 2000
Rating:
-3
Pros: The girls held their hands correctly in the fight scenes

Cons: that is a little tasteless mentioning cons in a prison flick, now isn't it?

This Epinion is as tasteless as the movie. Have a hankering for the bizarre? Wanna see some skin? Thanks to the wiles of director Henri Charr and writers John Pfeifer and Taesung Yim we get a little peek. I might mention this was adapted from a story by Henri Charr and Jess Mancilla. And hey, guess what? Produced by Jess Mancilla and Henri Charr and edited by Taesung Yim. Yep, these guys did everything except star in this epic. Did I mention stars? Geez, if only......

It's a prison flick. You know how those things go, tasteless and fleshy! Heavy handed female guards doing private strip searches, shower scenes, prison fights to cover up other nefarious activities. A strange twist to this epic, there is an FBI undercover agent in the prison trying to hook up with the mob's moll. Now what a unique concept! Why didn't I think of that for a prison movie?

Of course the FBI agent and the Mob Moll become buddies (duh!), and they are getting transferred to another prison. Why I do not know, except to offer the next unique concept ~ automobile broken down, passengers hurt, bodies laying on the road (of course, the obligatory country road, not well traveled), prison van stops to help, bad guys jump outta bushes, etc., etc., etc. Same bat time, same bat channel.

Now why do we want to team up with the Mob Moll? She has the standard ‘black book' with names, dates, info that can fry the mob guy. She, of course, outta the blue tells the FBI babe about the book, so now the mob guy wants the FBI babe too.

Anyhoo.....during the obligatory auto wreck/mob shoot out, the Mob Moll gets killed, the FBI babe gets away and ends up shackled to one of the guards. After contacting the FBI to come and pick them up......wait, wait, I gotta tell this one......we are talking practically desert here. I mean, this isn't even a paved road for God's sake, but BINGO, ain't there a damn phone booth only steps away from the shoot ‘em up?.......anyway, FBI picks them up, so the mob guy gets ticked and kidnaps the FBI's daughter.

No, no...there's more!!!!! I wouldn't leave ya hanging there!

Suddenly the prison guard formerly shackled to the FBI prisoner and the FBI prisoner now turned FBI agent again are best buds. They are working on the case together. Apparently wrecking the prison van, getting prisoners killed, abandoning the other prisoner in the van, and leaving with the FBI prisoner has absolutely NO consequences with her job. THEY apparently aren't concerned that she is no longer with the van, the prisoner, or the prison system. HELLO!!! Does anyone besides me see fraud here?

Anyway, buxom blonde prison guard (formerly known as tough prison guard), Tina Lamb (Barbara Niven) and sultry raven haired FBI agent (formerly known as FBI prisoner), Danielle Peters (Wendi Westbrook), are on the trail of the mob. NOW.....with all the FBI guys available, why I ask you aren't there a few of them around? OH NO, we have just these two luscious babes on the hunt. Well, honey, Charlies Angels they ain't, so they gotta keep getting their well-toned fannies out of the proverbial fire by FBI hotshot, Jerry (Jon Asher). Now is this the end honey, Hell No! Ya can't have Charlie's Angels with only two angels, can ya? In steps the vivacious supermodel Jennifer Springer (Sai Tyler), former (ta-da) FBI agent and guess who she works for? Huh? Can ya? Yepper, the mob guy, who by the way also runs a lucrative fashion industry.

I can't stand it, this thing is pure torture. Should I give away the ending? Dare I? Would you hate me for the rest of my life? Do you think the Mighty Mousets will come to save the day? Will their well-placed karate kicks and snappy dialogue solve the crime of 1) the missing black book, 2) the mobs evil operations and 3) the missing baby feebie? Will they wear even more stunning clothing while slithering their way through the fashion industry toting a shotgun twice their size (tho it is never noticed)? Will I make it through the last 28 minutes of the movie?

If you aren't up for a little campy humor, poorly acted, poorly directed and poorly written with really bad photography and really bad shoot ‘em ups then maybe you would be interested in sleaze. Plenty of bare flesh, cat fights (know how you guys love those cat fights), shower scenes (lots of shower scenes) and did I mention poor acting? Surely I mentioned poor acting!

Also starring Taylor Leigh as Slash, the mob guys killer babe and K. Phillip Anthony as the mob guy.

In your mind imagine this as a -5 rating, OK?



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