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Vampire Journals

1 rating: -3.0
A movie directed by Ted Nicolaou

Determined to rid the world of all vampires to gain vengeance for having been turned into one himself, a centuries-old vampire with a mortal's heart tracks down the most powerful remaining demon in a castle in contemporary Transylvania. There, he … see full wiki

Director: Ted Nicolaou
Release Date: 1997
MPAA Rating: R
1 review about Vampire Journals

Vampire Journals

  • Feb 19, 2002
Rating:
-3
Pros: It is a vampire movie = sex

Cons: It is supposed to be a vampire movie = lousy vampires

The Bottom Line: Poof ....... not worth the time




Well, it’s cute enough and all, but it sure isn’t Interview With The Vampire, now is it? In fact, the best thing it has going for it, as any good ‘horror’ movie does, is a lot of nudity. Add to that, the location of the filming, Romania, offers an eerily Gothic feel to the film, full of lush colors, resplendent costumes and overpowering buildings.

what evil lurks in the heart of Ash and who is he by the way? Ash is considered a ‘master vampire’, one that besets legions to follow him and provide him with his ‘nourishment’. Ash has one soft spot in his evil core, music.

In another time and another place, Ash (Jonathon Morris) had taken the life of the entrancing Rebecca (Rodica Lupu), who was the lover of fellow vampire, Zachary (David Gunn). It has become Zachary’s goal to destroy all vampires, most especially Ash, and rid the world of these evil miscreants. Although a vampire himself, Zachary has a remaining heart and human soul, which does him little good considering the life he must lead.

that doesn’t mean we have to like Zachary, in fact I found him to be somewhat whining and full of pity for himself. Well, ok, maybe I would be too if I had not only been tricked into being a vampire and have to live forever sucking the blood from others, but also having lost my beautiful mate. Perhaps I would whine and complain as well.

Regardless, knowing Ash’s penchant for music, Zachary appears at a concert being given by a piano soloist, Sophia (Kirsten Cerre), realizing that Ash will be tempted to be there as well. Sure enough, we find Ash hiding in the background, listening to the trilling sounds of the piano. Zachary, as well as Ash, are taken with the lovely Sophia, I wasn’t. Come on, let’s discuss this for a minute.

For one thing, she wasn’t all that, and for another she was dumber than a doorknob. As she leaves the concert hall that evening, she encounters Ash who hands her a rose, which naturally pricks her finger, etc., etc., etc. You get the drift. In the first place, I’m gonna be suspicious of anyone that suddenly appears out of the dark, has a white pasty face, wears a flowing cape, wants to suck the blood off my finger, and disappears in a mist.

hello, Sophia, just how dumb are you? Consider this – Zachary sees Ash approach Sophia and immediately flies to her side (hint, Sophia). Ash draws back, almost hissing, and is suddenly gone (hint two, Sophia). Then Zachary insists on walking her home. During this walk, he warns her about traveling the streets alone, there are many evils things abroad in the night.

And what does dear, lovely Sophia say? “I lived in New York, I can handle myself here.” Well, perhaps New York DOES have pasty-faced, finger sucking people appearing out of a fog and disappearing at the drop of the hat, who knows?

But even better, Ash runs a – how best to phrase this – house of ill repute. Not exactly a brothel, but rather a ….. ummm …. feeding ground for the undead souls he has made around town, including some well heeled individuals, I might add. In business with Ash is the lovely Iris (Starr Andreeff), who may or may not be totally vampiric, but has perhaps been ‘introduced’ to the idea. Iris likes to run a tight ship, however, and she isn’t pleased with some of the happenings at her ‘club’.

However, as a dutiful servant, she seeks out Sophia the following day to apologize for Ash’s scaring her, and to invite her to play at the club, to a select audience. Zachary discovers this and tries to stop Sophia from going, but the lure of $1000 payoff wins out. Sophia enters the club, a happy, healthy New York gal who can take care of herself.

Poor Sophia, gullible soul, soon to be one of the undead.

Zachary follows her to the club and begs entrance, but meets up with Iris. At first she bars Zachary entrance to the club, then later allows it, at the ‘masters’ request. Of course, it is Ash’s contention that ole Zach discovers that Sophia has ‘become’, and to let Sophia know that her savior and confident, good ole Zach, is one of the undead as well. Zachary only wants to kill Ash and save Sophia, but I’ll leave that conclusion for another day and another time.

everyone has a favorite character in most movies. Mine was the delectable Ilinka Goya who played the part of the wheedling and overly horny Cassandra in this film. Previously one of Ash’s favorite picks, she has fallen to the wayside with the introduction of Sophia. This does not set well with Cassandra, and apparently Ash has never heard that adage ‘Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned’. Another particular sweetie in the movie was the prissy Dimitri (Mihai Dinvale), just another hanger-on at the club that manages to get himself into quite the pickle.

Kirsten Cerre, as Sophia, worked my last sane nerve, obviously. Not only did I find her a simpering idiot but frankly, lookswise, she wasn’t all that. Of course, I’m not a vampire. That I know of. You wanted her to have a bigger set of ‘nads, since she refers to them herself, touting her worldly ways. Unfortunately, you find her groveling like the rest of the women. Waste of time!

And between Dunn (Zach) and Morris (Ash), I didn’t know who to hand the hanky to first. Unlike Cruise’s Lestat, Morris was a weepy, doe-eyed vampire that again is easily lured by the sirens song. Dunn, as well, didn’t put enough anger into his part, considering he was lamenting his own lost love and trying to rid the world of vampires in general. All in all, a fairly weak set of vampires.

but, fortunately, for vampire lovers everywhere, writer/director Nicolaou gives us enough blood and gore to consider this a pretty vampiric film. And there are all those lovely naked bodies flitting about, and the scenery.

I understand from other reviews that this ties in with the Subspecies series, which I have never encountered (what’s up with that?!?) and that Ash and Zachary have come together before in other releases. Not that I intend to search these out because I wasn’t all that impressed with this release. For the most part I found the acting substandard and sophomoric, and the script fraught with weak lines and empty wishes.

My feelings? If you want a tragic vampire, stick with Nosferatu, who is tragic indeed. For a friskier vampire, go with Lestat (Cruise), or Gary Oldman in Dracula. Or even that tanned fool – what’s his name – in Love At First Bite, George somebody or the other with the permanent tan. To coin a phrase, this one ‘sucks’.

Written and directed by Ted Nicolaou. Stars: Jonathan Morris, David Gunn, Kirsten Cerre, Starr Andreeff, Ilinka Goya. No awards, no nominations. Surprise!

Thanks,
Susi

The Oracle says: Mihai Dinvale has a Bacon number of 3.

Mihai Dinvale was in Subspecies 4: Bloodstorm (1998) with Kevin Spirtas
Kevin Spirtas was in Apt Pupil (1998) with Elias Koteas
Elias Koteas was in Novocaine (2001) with Kevin Bacon ***


***Compliments of: Department of Computer Science
School of Engineering, University of Virginia


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