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If any pop-culture phenomenon ever deserved a send-up, surely it's theTwilightworld, with its overheated vampire love and shirtless teenage werewolves. The moment is seized byVampires Suck, yet another movie parody from the team of Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, the boys behindDisaster MovieandMeet the Spartans. As in their previous spoofs, Friedberg and Seltzer string together some jokes around the plot, a few topical references, and a barrage of irrelevant pop-culture allusions (unless you can figure out how Tiger Woods, the Kardashians, and Lady Gaga are relevant to the proceedings). The first couple ofTwilightpictures are rapidly condensed, with heroine Becca (Jenn Proske) moving to a rainy town in Washington and meeting the unnaturally pale Edward Sullen (Matt Lanter), whose vampire clan can hardly keep from draining Becca's blood on the spot. Of course there's also wolf-boy Jacob (Chris Riggi), who reminds Becca that he is contractually obligated to take his shirt off and expose his bare chest (his torso here is more elaborate than in the realTwilightmovies) every 10 minutes. That joke is an example of how farVampires Suckis behind its own audience; the movie hits the obvious points, with plenty of dead air in between. A few gags pay off, including Jacob's werewolf clan (shirtless, natch) breaking out into a dance routine to "It's Raining Men." And Jenn Proske, in her film debut, does a lights-out impersonation of Kristen Stewart's trembling Bella from the series, right down to every last downward glance and stutter. It's a performance that deserves a better setting.--Robert Horton
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CastAnneliese van der Pol, Matt Lanter, Jenn Proske, Chris Riggi, Kelsey Ford
DirectorJason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer
Genre:  Comedy
Release Date:  August 18, 2010
Screen WriterJason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer
Studio:  Twentieth Century Fox
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More Vampires Suck reviews
review by . August 18, 2010
posted in Movie Hype
It's commonplace these days to hate Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer on general principles. One of the reasons I hate them is that their parodies have virtually no angle of approach. This makes it next to impossible for me to find something about their films worth reviewing. There's nothing there - no themes, no visual techniques, no symbolism, no clever dialogue, no nuanced performances, no item of discussion. There's just unadulterated goofiness, a series of comedic vignettes that don't really …
review by . August 18, 2010
posted in Movie Hype
Albert Einstein once famously observed that time was relative and that its passage changed depending upon circumstances. One well-known consequence of this is that the faster you travel, the slower time goes. If someone is on a spacecraft traveling at near light-speed for a few months and then returns to Earth, she will find that several years have passed. You can see this in action in Planet of the Apes. Time also passes differently depending on your relationship to a large gravitational source, …
Quick Tip by . September 12, 2011
Caption
I have to say, I had second thoughts in seeing this film. I mean, “Vampires Suck” does suck, but how do you knock it for spoofing one of the overrated, below average movies of the last few years such as the “Twilight” franchise. I would have made a movie that made fun of that saga, so I guess in a way you may say that I am a supporter of the motivations behind such a film.      It takes certain elements from the first two “Twilight” …
Quick Tip by . December 29, 2010
posted in Movie Hype
This movie wasnt as bad as id expected it to be. Some of parts where outright funny because the acting in the spoof was better than the actual twilight movies! The part where edward breaks up with becca and she has her little flip out in the woods was way more realistic than the onscreen version presented in New Moon! I love the twilight books and like the movies but that didnt stop me from laughing at this one.
review by . September 22, 2010
posted in Movie Hype
   Let's face it, the creators of Date Movie, Epic Movie, Disaster Movie, and Meet the Spartans are absolutely awful parody writers. The only reason they have spawned any success is that there are people out there, like me, who love parody movies, and they just happen to be the only one's throwing them out right now.      All of their previous work aside, this one was actually a little better than most. I attribute this to two things. First, 95% of their source …
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