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Witches of Eastwick

1 rating: 3.0
A movie directed by George Miller

Based on John Updike's best-seller, this comic battle of the sexes is coupled with supernatural thriller overtones. Three beautiful unmarried residents of a small New England town seem to have conjured up "Mr. Right." But just who is this … see full wiki

Director: George Miller
Release Date: 1987
MPAA Rating: R
1 review about Witches of Eastwick

Witches Of Eastwick - let's see YOU review this W/O

  • Sep 9, 2002
Pros: Hands down - Nicholson, Cher, Sarandon & Pfeiffer

Cons: I've probably left out the best parts of the movie - sigh

The Bottom Line: Has anyone else noticed that I only watch movies not suited for children of any age?

I would like to thank lynus, who thought up this diabolical write-off, and artbyjude, who picked me as her movie reviewer. It had been years since I had seen Witches of Eastwick and I remembered it as a comedy. Turns out it is more a dark comedy, but I laughed throughout.

Centering on the pleasant and peaceful town of Eastwick, you are introduced to three beautiful but lonely women: Alexandra, Jane, and Sukie (Cher, Susan Sarandon & Michelle Pfeiffer). We see into their bleak existence, where they spend every Thursday night together drinking martooni’s and doing whatever comes up – generally playing cards and yapping.

But they want more. Something handsome, exciting, a foreigner perhaps, riding a black horse and oh yeah, he’s gotta have a great butt and he has to be huge (although Jane prefers small).

During this entire conversation we are thrown down the wandering roads leading into town, watching the headlights of a car, a large black car, rushing into town through the driving rain. Finally reaching its destination all we see are four feet scampering inside and a lot of flowing robes.

Gossip the next day is the mysterious stranger than purchased the legendary house, the Lenox house, but no one can remember his name. “Why it’s right here on the tip of my tongue. Isn’t that diabolical?” Later that evening we meet the stranger, while he snores his way through a longhair concert featuring the gorgeous Jane. Our introduction, other than the abysmal noises coming from his open mouth, is when his chair topples backward and he hits the floor.

Mr. Daryl Van Horne (Jack Nicholson) cruises into the lives of these three ladies – why almost like they had conquered him up. As the story progresses, we watch him seduce each woman changing their lives dramatically. Most especially the mousy Jane, who turns into a swan with flying red hair and the most outlandish clothes. I loved it.

Is Van Horne the devil and are our lovely ladies truly witches? Ah, Hell, anything’s possible.

Written by Michael Cristofer from the novel by John Updike, directed by George Miller, Witches of Eastwick is a hilarious romp into debauchery and small town life. As the girls become mired into the ways of life with Van Horne, the towns small minds get smaller by the minute. And the girls get more radiant by the minute.

As things escalate and the girls decide to leave Van Horne’s side, he goes out of control, bringing their worst fears to front. When he enacts Sukies fear of pain, and the girls discover they are all pregnant, they reluctantly return to his side but for a devilish reason.

You can pluck certain actresses from the mainstream and focus on a time of their lives when they are just completely in control of themselves and their surroundings. During this time, at least in this movie, the three main stars – Susan, Cher & Michelle – are all so beautiful and sexy. Equally difficult is pitching four main stars together and having them share the screen so wonderfully. Each character plays against the other, each is developed yet merge into one and still, each is so diverse.

As far as Nicholson goes, I could watch him all day. Certainly not what I would term a handsome man, there is still something that draws you to him, some charisma. This man that can lift an eyebrow and express more than some actors delivering a soliloquy. As well, that grin and laughter will just charm the lace-topped socks off of you. In my opinion, Jack Nicholson is just someone that has one Hell of a great time doing whatever it is he does. I’m beginning to question though, is he acting or is he really insane?

I don’t want to neglect Veronica Cartwright who played councilperson Felicia Alden. I don’t think they ever explained her connection, other than the snowy egrets, to the Lenox house, but there were certainly ties there. Her adverse reaction to Van Horne starts as soon as she hears someone has purchased the home and continues in the movie as long as she does. It was a little mean of the girls & Van Horne to pull that cherry pit gig on her and the explosive results were just as nasty.

She has great eyes and I really enjoyed watching her metamorphous from ‘together rich lady about town’ to ‘totally insane and out of control’ lady locked up in her castle.

Witches of Eastwick stepped up to the box for several awards and nominations:

~Jack Nicholson – Saturn Award, Best actor
~BAFTA – Best special effects
~Jack Nicholson – LAFCA Award, Best actor
~Jack Nicholson – NYFCC Award, Best actor

~Academy Awards, Best music original score & Best sound
~HUGO Awards, Best dramatic presentation

There are so many great speeches and one liners in this movie, it is hard to pick out a favorite. Of course, Van Horne’s diatribe in church about ‘Women – were they another of God’s mistakes?’ is way up there, but I think my favorite is:

”I see men, sixty, seventy years old breaking their balls to stay fit! What for? When I die, I want to be sick, not healthy. “ (Daryl Van Horne)

Many thanks to lynus for starting this snowball rolling, links to writers involved can be seen on his profile page or the list is as follows:

dedemw, jankp, shadow8, scigamer, tbthorn, mfunk75, BigJack, KatM, jackai, susidee34, gaelkm, thepremier, dragonfire88, MrsNormanMaine, kristinafh, patiche, Stephen_Murray, cripper, artbyjude, skbreese, shaithis, Vormancian, jstlawrence, psychovant, danifilth, Pffrdfdus7, granniemose, annecal, JackSommersby, Aruzenchin, cletta1201, simply_crispy, tigger500, darkmistress, lifestar, mark_dujsik, tjmackey, aliventiasylum, and of course lynus.



Suitability For Children: Not suitable for Children of any age

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