The Family Room
A Lunch community dedicated to raising families...
Tangled (2010)

Walt Disney's 2010 animated film based on the classic fairy tale of Rapunzel.

< read all 15 reviews

Strangled: What Disney Does to Creativity in 3D

  • Apr 12, 2011
Rating:
-4
Much like a Disney bluebird, another $10 flutters away from my wallet, serial numbers flapping while Alexander Hilton stares out at me coldly. Tangled is a triple-threat to my attention span, simultaneously making me sleepy, itchy and a little hungry during the middle. The tap-tap-tap sound you can hear is another nail being driven in the coffin containing my terminally ill love for the movie industry.

On the positive side, nobody can accuse Mandy Moore of mumbling. Cranking out the tunes with a reckless abandon that makes me scared to think of her with a credit card in a department store sale, Mandy brings a blandness to Rapunzel's vapid and unlikable self-absorption that's somewhere between Lea Michele in Glee and Lea Michele. Mandy's robo-written heroine <Insert name here> is about as memorable as flu.

But forgive me for getting ahead of myself. Disney once again shows a fear for originality that rivals my fear of flying insects, with executives shoeing out the window anything that we haven't seen before and spraying Raid on anything that dares to look different. The entire first act of Tangled is The Hunchback of Notre Dame, with Quasi Modo - imprisoned love-hungry teen with a heart of gold - replaced by a long-haired skinny cheerleader and Frollo - evil kidnapper posing as parent - replaced by a drawing that looks just like the witch from Enchanted, with a little Yzma from The Emperor's New Groove.

Meanwhile the male romantic lead  - a thief with a heart of gold, just like the guy from Aladdin, though he looks just like the soldier from Hunchback - spends the first 30 minutes being chased by twin morons and being hit with a frying pan. The frying pan joke is right up there with slipping on a banana skin. The entire set is a morph between Beauty & The Beast and Hunchback, portraying some none existent French countryside presumably in an effort to boost park sales at Eurodisney. And even the freakin' horse looks just like every Disney drawing of a horse you've ever seen.

Literally, Disney's sponge of ideas has been wrung so dry that their next film should just be called "Out of Copyright - Give me Your Wallet". If the Brothers Grimm could see their "reimagined" boorish Rapunzel, they would be scratching their way out their graves. By the way, if this review sounds negative then clearly I'm not trying hard enough.

AN OPEN LETTER TO DISNEY

Dear Disney,

Although I cannot expect you give me back two hours of my life, a cliche so ripe that I fully expect to see it as dialog in an upcoming release, please send me $10 back, you thieving bastards. If this is the best you can do for a 50th film, please stop now and consider a career in nothing else.

Sincerely,
Bezzy

MORE IMPORTANTLY

Tangled is such as bad film that it might try to run for President if Donald Trump gets suffocated by his own wig. I'm presuming that the whole thing is a result of a drunken bet by Disney executives to see how much crap the audience will take before a sequel is out of the question. Straight out of the door, it hits every single overdone cliche with a precision that makes you want to cancel Panda breeding programs:
  • Evil woman with mystical flower curses a household (for no reason at all). It's kind of the fairy tale version of a drive-by shooting with petals instead of 9mm rounds.
  • Pretty, narcissistic heroine is waiting to be recognized (as a Princess, girlfriend or both), with the instigating event arriving as male hero at page 10.
  • Subtext of royalty-slash-monarchy offering a better political system than a Republic, interestingly enough.
  • Animal sidekicks who can't talk. At least the tiger in Aladdin could have eaten the irritating little muppet - the poor chameleon here has to listen to Rapunzel's shit none-stop.
  • Broken families and evil step mothers.
The list goes on and on, much like the musical numbers in this mess. Did Alan Menken really write those?

FIVE THINGS YOU SHOULD DO INSTEAD OF WATCHING THIS

1. I thought about redubbing the soundtrack with added profanity. It's actually much funnier with a few F-bombs thrown around.

2. Randomly pick one of the BBC's 1,500 remakes of Pride & Prejudice while learning to tie a noose with a USB cable.

3. Selecting a partially dangerous myth from Mythbusters and seeing if you can repeat the experiment, get different results, and not burn down the kitchen.

4. Attempt to hum the theme tunes of Superman, Spiderman and Star Wars one after the other. Nobody can do this by the way, and if anyone can it will open a vortex to another dimension, much like if you type "Google" into Google.

5. Write an alternative Disney movie based upon ripping off the bits you remember from Aladdin, Emperor's New Groove, Hunchback and Beauty & The Beast. This will only take about 5 minutes, so consider this an extra if one of the first four finish early.

FINALLY

The truly remarkable part is that this film cost $260 million. Holy hell! More alarmingly, it's grossed twice that. The key thing I learned is that Rapunzel must go through conditioner like crazy, and since every moppet in the land is probably going for "the grow" right now, I need to buy shares in Johnson & Johnson immediately.

I'm honestly contemplating releasing my DVD collection into the wild and reading books instead of subjecting myself to this mindless drivel. It makes me yearn for another remake of The Incredible Hulk to see how much more it can be screwed up.

In a final, final random thought, I'm thinking about heading down to Disneyland with a megaphone to warn people off this film. I should also raise the issue of their major rodent infestation too.

What did you think of this review?

Helpful
12
Thought-Provoking
12
Fun to Read
12
Well-Organized
12
Post a Comment
May 24, 2011
OUCH! I actually just saw this movie a few weeks ago, after skimming through your review the first time around. But since I'm a girl... I loved it. I even held back tears at the end! :P Hilarious review, though. Love it!
 
April 12, 2011
Yeah, pretty much how I felt about it when I saw it in theaters, but you may have said it more....direct LOL! I don't fault it for being such a formula feature, but there was just nothing here and I struggled to accept the slapstick humor and musical numbers. It just doesn't sit well with me. Nice review, James! (how come it is still under "awesomeness"? because it was so awesomely bad? LOL!)
April 12, 2011
Seriously, it's mind control from the diseased brain of a deranged mutant rodent hell-bent on turning the new generation into mindless narcissistic drones. Oh wait, I meant to use that for my Facebook review. I'm not sure why I put this under Awesomeness - I've only had one cup of coffee so far today!
April 12, 2011
you can write "awesome mutant narcissistic split ends". LOL!
 
1
More Tangled reviews
review by . November 25, 2010
posted in Movie Hype
An Intended
It has been quite a long time since I’ve seen a Disney movie in theaters. As far as I remember the last great Disney movie I’ve seen in cinemas was “The Lion King” and the rest of Disney’s outings such as “Mulan” and “Pocahantas” I’ve only seen on video. Well, seeing as I was convinced by a friend to see a more light-hearted fare this week, I agreed to see “TANGLED”. It is the 50th animated feature in the Walt Disney Animated …
review by . November 28, 2010
posted in Movie Hype
Tangled is the new animated film from Disney and I loved it.  This movie is a reboot of the Rapunzel.  She is a girl with long magical golden hair.  She is voiced by Mandy Moore.  She is a princess who gets kidnapped as a baby by an evil stepmother.  She lives and is trapped in a tower for eighteen years.  She longs to explore the world.  She gets her chance  with the help of a thief named Flynn Rider.  He is voiced by Zachary Levi.  I love the …
review by . March 18, 2011
posted in Movie Hype
Summer is around the corner, let's get those hair out of the way!
It's a typical Disney film and you can expect all that you can expect out of a Disney film.    Tangled is the 21st century Rapunzel and if you've not read the outline of the story, then it's a highly enjoyable film. I watched this on my 2nd half of my 5 hour flight from Singapore to Shanghai last night, after spending an enjoyable first half on Love and Other Drugs. Despite the harsh reality of the first half of my journey, the 2nd half was a lot lighter and still pretty …
review by . January 12, 2011
posted in Movie Hype
After a stint of about two decades, wherein fans of the old Disney movies nostalgically lamented the gradual decline of Disney, the studio which once brought us such classics as Cinderella and Beauty and the Beast appears to have kicked its mojo back into gear with its latest feature, Tangled. The computer-animated film, based on the well-known German fairy tale “Rapunzel,” follows Disney’s tried and true formula -- and lo’ and behold, the recipe still produces magic. Tangled …
review by . February 05, 2011
posted in Movie Hype
In the late 80's Disney put out The Little Mermaid.  The film more or less established a formula for Disney that they pretty much kept running with through the 90's.  You take a simple existing story or fairy tale or myth... you make it kid friendly (none of these Disney classics really followed the original tales that particularly well) and then you add in a few songs and a love story of some sort.  This made Disney films like The Little Mermaid, Aladdin, Beauty and the Beast …
review by . May 01, 2011
posted in Movie Hype
*** out of ****     Disney has always had a reputation, which is the same for me or anyone else really, that has me wondering what they'll cook up next. They always have something on the stove; something good, and sometimes even great. Now, you can't have a good animated film just by having good animation; you need something more. "Tangled" is an animated feature that adds a clever little ingredient, giving it a nice taste, thus bringing it from the potential "animated, goofy …
review by . January 07, 2011
I was not terribly enthusiastic about seeing TANGLED, and in fact, I didn't see it for several weeks. But a slow Sunday afternoon came around, and having seen pretty much everything elseā€¦I was coaxed into attending. And now the film is on my Top 10 for 2010 list!    This is a Disney picture, with the graphic sensibilities of a Pixar film. I know the two companies are allied, but what I mean is this: Pixar has had the corner on smart, modern looking, genre-twisting films. Nary …
review by . January 22, 2011
Tangled is another attempt to get back to the classic disney formula of stunning visuals accompanied by sweeping snarky coming-of-age romances and great musical numbers, and may I say they definitely succeeded. This is far from Disney's best movie, but definitely not their worst. Plus, for me its currently tied with Meet the Robinsons for best non-pixar disney CGI movie. This is also quite a different type of princess movie, it being sort of an adventure movie as well. Despite princessdom being …
review by . April 10, 2011
posted in Movie Hype
A Tale About Long Hair Helps Disney Find Its Roots
   Long-time readers (sufferers as the case may be) of my critical efforts may have noticed a certain pattern whereby I locate, for purpose of review, animated feature films so obscure that even the individuals responsible for their creation have long forgotten about them.  Usually (but not always), it isn’t very difficult for me to find fault in these works but alas, to insure the accuracy of my whole scale of judgment, I proudly visit the latest, greatest, high-budgeted, …
review by . January 04, 2011
posted in Movie Hype
Just A Few Strands Of Magic Weaved Into
Tangled hit screens in 2010 with much hullabaloo.  It is the fiftieth animated film produced by Disney Studios.  It is also at the center of a title controversy spinning around in Mickey land.  The film was originally entitled Rapunzel Unbraided and then just plain old Rapunzel, but that was changed once more to Tangled for reasons that differ depending on whom you ask.  Personally, I believe the change was made in an effort to expand the film's demographic outreach, …
About the reviewer
James Beswick ()
Lunch.com's "token Brit".
Consider the Source

Use Trust Points to see how much you can rely on this review.

You
jbeswick
Your ratings:
Up
Up
rate more to improve this
About this movie

Wiki


Tangled
is an upcoming 2010 American 3D animated musical film produced by Walt Disney Animation Studios and starring the voices of Mandy Mooreand Zachary Levi. It will be the 50th animated feature in the Walt Disney Animated Classics series, planned for release on November 24, 2010, the day before Thanksgiving. The story is largely based on the classic German fairy tale Rapunzel by the Brothers Grimm.
view wiki

Details

Genre: Adventure, Animation, Comedy, Family, Fantasy
Release Date: November 24, 2010
MPAA Rating: PG
Screen Writer: Dan Fogelman
Studio: Walt Disney Studios
© 2014 Lunch.com, LLC All Rights Reserved
Lunch.com - Relevant reviews by real people.
The Family Room is part of the Lunch.com Network - Get this on your site
()
This is you!
Ranked #
Last login
Member since
reviews
comments
ratings
questions
compliments
lists