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NETHERBEAST INCORPORATED--These Capitalists Really ARE Bloodsuckers

  • Sep 13, 2009
                                                                                                                                Netherbeast Incorporated
Otto is the perfect corporate drone who, when summoned to his Boss' office for a new assignment, is justifiably shocked to see a co-worker sprawled in an adjacent chair with a huge wooden stake rammed through his heart.  His Boss however, sees nothing amiss since this is the manner in which one normally dispatches a vampire so to have killed him in any  other way would have been absurd.  Thus begins NETHERBEAST INCORPORATED a mostly successful satire of corporate America disguised as a horror movie.

The plot centers around Otto and the other employees of Berm-Tech Industries Inc. (the world's largest makers of telephones) as they try to stop their boss from destroying their safe little cubicled world, because you see, they ARE vampires and so is he for that matter is he, a fact that eludes him due to an inconvenient case of "vampire Alzheimer's" which may or may not clear up on it's own. Now these aren't your typical movie vampires and their differences are explained throughout the film via powerpoint presentations. For instance they all live in the same building in which they work , insulated from the general public except for the occasional night on the town. Their "meals" are donated blood and unclaimed corpses because these vampires, unlike their Hollywood bretheren, aren't on a strictly liquid diet.  And of course, all employees of Berm-Tech Industries Inc. are Netherfolk like themselves. (That's another difference. They don't refer to themselves as vampires.) No humans are allowed past the receptionist. That is until one day their wacked out boss informs them he has hired an efficiency expert from the outside to come in and get the office "up to speed."  And that's just the beginning of the problems. A co-worker goes missing and wacky Mr. Hammond replaces him with a HUMAN temp, a pretty girl to whom Otto quickly becomes attracted.

Right now I'm sure you're thinking; Wow, I'm in for a great horror comedy!  But the sad truth is, not so much. NETHERBEAST INC. opens with a bang and then gradually starts losing all of it's energy. The cast does it's best with the material which is perhaps a bit underwritten in the last two acts. Turner Claymore who plays Boss Darrell Hammond is hilarious as the vampire without a clue, when he's off screen the movie loses a lot of it's interest. Steven Landry (from "Blues Clues") as the Dilbert-like Otto is more than adequate, and Judd Nelson is amusing as the efficiency expert who harbors a secret of his own. The thing that really bothered me about the film, so much so that I knocked a whole point off my rating, is the musical score. And I NEVER pay attention to musical scores! It has to be extremely good or extremely bad for me to take note (pun intended) of it. And this score was bad. It was a bit too loud and tended to drown out parts of the dialogue, but worse yet it constantly tried to remind us that we were watching a comedy. It had everything but rim shots in it and was very distracting. A more serious score would have worked to better advantage by being a counterpoint to the comedy.

What ever  the film had to offer in terms of creativity and originality  is ultimately ruined by bad pacing, weak scripting, and an annoying musical score.Can I recommend NETHERBEAST INC.? Sure, it's not nearly as bad as I make it sound.

Rating: 3.75 for the awful musical score and not being able to keep the creative juices flowing.
NETHERBEAST INCORPORATED--These Capitalists Really ARE Bloodsuckers NETHERBEAST INCORPORATED--These Capitalists Really ARE Bloodsuckers NETHERBEAST INCORPORATED--These Capitalists Really ARE Bloodsuckers NETHERBEAST INCORPORATED--These Capitalists Really ARE Bloodsuckers

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April 13, 2011
Been a while since I have seen this one, great review.
September 14, 2009
I hate it when a movie just takes off but couldn't achieve what it takes to stay aloft. This does sound mildly interesting, I will still check it out. Great catch on the musical score, a lot of folks neglect the fact that music brings a lot to a film's emotions and mood. Nice write up.
September 14, 2009
It's worth a watch because it does have some good things going for it. It takes some nice swings at corporate life and does bring a new take on vampire lore to the table too. I just really hated that musical score. The DVD also includes the original short that inspired the film, so be sure to check that out if you decide to see it.
More NetherBeast Incorporated reviews
Quick Tip by . May 01, 2010
Some good ideas and a great performance in a vampire comedy that blows hot and cold.
About the reviewer
karen ()
Ranked #5
I am the poster child for inertia. Where ever I am is where I plan to stay FOREVER.   So much so in fact that it took me decades to understand the punchline about why   the chicken … more
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Vampires, Horror Movie, Satire, Low Budget Films, Independent Film, Corporate America, Judd Nelson, Robert Wagner


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