The Vampire Historians
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Someone Forgot to Tell the Principles to Act

  • Nov 12, 2006
  • by
Rating:
-3
Pros: None; okay the sex was pretty good; Loken's not bad to look at.

Cons: Everthing; okay the sex was pretty good.

Plot Details: This opinion reveals minor details about the movie''s plot.

I didn’t have high hopes when I turned on this movie and I was not disappointed, or rather I was disappointed, because I hoped I was wrong. BloodRayne (yet another movie about Vampires) was adapted from a video game by director Uwe Boll, the latest in a long line of such marginal films, this one staring Kristanna Loken (Terminator 3), and Sir Ben Kingsley of all people. Michelle Rodriguez stars as well in the only role she seems to know how to play: the quintessential female action hero with attitude.

Almost from the opening frame Bloodrayne made little sense; the screen play was plain silly and hackneyed. For instance Loken’s character, a human/Vampire hybrid, was at first a docile plaything, but she suddenly turned into a semi-skilled, sword wielding Vamp leaving a (long) trail of blood in her wake. The story was bad (though the sex scene was pretty good), the acting worse, the movie a terrible amateurish mess.


Recommended:
No

Viewing Format: DVD
Video Occasion: None of the Above
Suitability For Children: Not suitable for Children of any age

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More BloodRayne reviews
review by . October 24, 2009
The Majestic Madsen Mullet
The next step in my quest to watch all 100 of Rotten Tomatoes' Worst of the Worst movies of the decade:     German director Uwe Boll is famous for two things: 1) making movies based on video games and 2) making some of the worst movies of all time. Coincedence? Doing some research, I found that according to Metacritic, the best reviewed movie based on a video game is Mortal Kombat. To repeat, Mortal Kombat is the best ever movie based on a video game. One of those movies, not directed …
review by . September 03, 2006
posted in Movie Hype
I've never played the game before but I knew of it and told myself I had to see this movie, especially because of the great cast. I had no idea what I was getting into and I wish I could get my money back for renting this DVD. One major blowup about this flick is that the fight sequences are way too sloppy and slow. You would think that nobody in this movie had training because everybody's out of shape and off on the fight choreography. There's no good soundtrack and the music they do play is boring. …
review by . May 30, 2006
posted in Movie Hype
"Bloodrayne" has received nothing but poor publicity from the moment it hit the big screen. It's been written off for everything from bad acting, horrible action, and darn-near porn sequences. However, after watching this flick, I don't really see what all the fuss is about. Sure, the acting is really bad at times, but I've seen worse in many other flicks. The action looks pretty good in my opinion, though the blood and gore is actually silly at times. As far as the porn goes, there's a bunch of …
review by . January 11, 2006
Pros: Some good action.     Cons: Stiff acting, thin plot.     The Bottom Line: If you are a fan of the genre, there are far worse films you could see.     Plot Details: This opinion reveals minor details about the movie''s plot. Turning a video game into a feature film is often a daunting task. With a large built in audience, gamers tend to be very picky over film adaptations and agitate very easily over even the slightest deviation from …
About the reviewer
Vincent Martin ()
I am an IT Professional and have worked in the industry for over 20 years. I may be a computer geek, but I also like reading, writing, cooking, music, current events and regretfully, politics.
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Details

Director: Uwe Boll
Genre: Action, Adventure, Horror
Release Date: January 6, 2006
MPAA Rating: R
Screen Writer: Guinevere Turner
Runtime: 1hr 35min
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