Recommended for anyone thinking of submitting a personal ad

Nov 14, 2011

by plappen
posted in Cafe Libri: Reviewing Books & More

Rating:

This book looks at the world of online personal ads from the perspective of how not to do it. There are a distressingly large number of examples from which to choose.

Why is this the Baby Boomer Edition? Genxers and Millennials are entering the dating world for the first time. They are looking for someone to settle down with and start a life together. Baby Boomers have Been There, Done That. They have been through divorce; they have experienced the pain of losing a loved one through death; they have children that must be part of the equation.

The first rule of online personal ads (if there is such a thing) is Use Spellcheck. Nothing says "Delete Me" like misspelled words. The second rule is Leave Out the Bitterness. A potential date is not interested in how big of a jerk is your ex. It is perfectly reasonable to mention "deal breakers" in your ad (like smoking or being a "cat person"), but there is no need to be mean and sarcastic about it. Creativity in your ad is good, but don't overdo it.

Men are well known for objectifying women, insisting that they look good in heels and a black dress. Women can be just as bad, insisting that he not have a comb over. There are some men who work out a lot, or look younger than their chronological age, and are not afraid to let everyone know it. Self-confidence is good, arrogance and conceit is bad. Women, on the other hand, tend to play down their looks. The sooner men stop looking for a Little Mermaid (or some other female Disney character), and the sooner women stop looking for Prince Charming to sweep them off their feet, the better. Leave your deceased spouse out of the ad; no one wants to be considered a "replacement." Also, leave the "(insert pet peeve here) need not apply" out of your ad. Tell people what you want in an ad, not what you don't want. Last, but not least, if you have not yet found out what you want out of life, or don't know what you are looking for in a relationship, then why on earth are you submitting a personal ad? The only one who can find whatever it is you are lacking in your life is staring at you in the mirror.

The overwhelming feeling after reading this book is: What Were These People Thinking? This is a fascinating and easy to read book, and, yes, it does look at what should be in a personal ad. It's recommended for anyone who has ever submitted a personal ad, or for those who just want to snicker and shake their heads in disbelief.

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devora November 15, 2011

I've visited dating sites before and have also found myself too often asking "What were these people thinking?!", so I don't have much faith in them. Many folks on them don't seem to use the best judgment and even if they are an awesome person in real life, it sure doesn't show in their profile. Thanks for sharing, Paul! By the way, I think you'll enjoy these reviews on various dating sites to get more insight :)

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djevoke November 15, 2011

This sounds funny! I have a couple of friends that have tried online dating but, I've never checked out their profiles...maybe they should give this a read!

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About the reviewer

Paul Lappen (plappen)

I am in my early 50s, single and live in Connecticut. I am a lifelong very, very avid reader and am a freelance book reviewer with my ownblog (http://www.deadtreesreview.blogspot.com). Please visit. It … more