It's official....I'm old. Yes, I found myself quite frequently throughout 2011 wondering what the heck has happened to music and pitying the poor Millennials that obviously have NO CLUE what real music sounds like. Yes, I'm sounding like all of our parents who chastised our playing of Elvis, later The Beatles and in my generation, Nirvana or Run DMC. Usually, I can laugh it off...oh, those silly kids, it's just a phase (which is exactly what our parents/grandparents said about Rock 'N Roll and Hip Hop). But, this year, I reached my limit. Here are the five songs that I think top the list of ridiculousness:
Yes, this is a real song and yes, that is the actual title. This song tops my list as the most ridiculous song of 2011. That may be the point for this duo that's had such hits as "Shots" (that repeats Shots Shots Shots Shots.....everybody! about five million times) and their "Party Rock Anthem" that introduced our eardrums to the sound that would be popularized by the duo and repeated for every single song they would ever make.
This song takes the cake, though. I mean, really kids?!? "Girl, look at that body. Girl, look at that body. Girl, look at that body. I work out...I'm sexy and I know it". God, I hate this song and I'm sure it's meant to be a parody on the Jersey Shore GTLers but, what if it's not?
This. Freaking. Song. It's followed me EVERYWHERE ever since I saw it premiered on The Voice. It followed me to sports events, bowling lanes, swanky lounges, the bank, and yes, even Puerto Rico. I just don't get it. What the hell does this song mean? Jagger doesn't dance, so that rules that out. The only possible explanation is if he's talking about Jagger's moves in the bedroom and how on Earth would Adam Levine know about that? Just sayin....
The song, however, is definitely pop and as such is so incredibly catchy that even if it drives you nuts (like myself) after about the 500 gagillionth time you hear it at a beach bar in Puerto Rico, you start tapping your feet. Trust me, it's a horrible realization that the song's grasp has gained control of your feet. Your brain starts yelling, NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
"I don't need to try to control you/ Look into my eyes and I'll own you/ With them moves like Jagger/ I've got the moves like Jagger/ I've got the moves like Jagger..."
Oh. My. Earbleed! This song is almost forgivable if it was truly written by a 14 year old girl, I mean...teenagers, they don't know any better. This song was actually written by not one but, TWO grown men. I really think it could be one of the worst songs of all time and I'm not alone. At one point, the video received 3 million dislikes.
Really, each and every lyric of this trash is ridiculous, so I encourage you to look it up for yourselves and have a good guffaw. Here's the most ridiculous lyric:
"Fun, fun, think about fun/ You know what it is/ I got this, you got this/ My friend is by my right/ I got this, you got this/ Now you know it..." Ummmm....what?
Wow. This guy is special. When I showed this and his other videos (which include such hits as "I Have AIDS", "Wonton Soup", "Charlie Sheen" and "Dr. Phil) to my husband, Fernando couldn't stop laughing and then said, this kid MUST be kidding. The sad thing is that I don't think that's the case, I think he seriously thinks he's a rapper and a successful one at that. This song is not only ridiculous but, it's incredibly hateful and would easily fall into the ignorant SOB section of a music store.
First, this jokester rips off my favorite Marvin Gaye album cover for his cover of his album (I'm Gay (I'm Happy)). Then, he says that this album will be a classic and is just as good as 2Pac and Biggie. The ridiculousness just keeps coming...
"I'm a gay [bleep]" repeat for a hundred times. Enough said.
Listen, people, the only song that can be about date rape and actually be considered quality is Sublime's Date Rape. This song is appalling. If I ever heard my niece or daughter or any girl listening to this song, I would be obligated to literally slap some sense into them. Is this guy serious? Wow, talk about a way to ruin your dating life before you can even get one. Who would ever go on a date with this guy? You'd end up Ruffied in the back seat of some clunker.
This is the chorus: "I like you just the way you are / drunk as shit, dancing at the bar / I can’t wait to get you home so I can do some damage / I like you just the way you are / drunk in the backseat of my car / I can’t wait to get you home so I can take advantage."