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Performance - MC Spandx

A YouTube video uploaded by Robin Moore on August 10, 2009.

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This One's For All You Roadies Out There.

  • Aug 29, 2009
Rating:
+5
"I know you don't understand.  How can I spend five grand on a bike?  You think that's absurd.  But there's only one answer, and there's only one word --

It's PERFORMANCE"


This is roadie satire at its finest.  I have several friends who are hardcore roadies.  Ya know, the ones who spend thousands of dollars per bike part (hello, @chriscut!) and, as I recently learned from @yesjesh, can bike on 100+ mile trails every other day or so.  I also have hipster bike-fiend friends.  Ya know, the ones who ride their bikes in way too skinny jeans with one pant leg rolled up who scour Craigslist for vintage bike parts on a daily basis.  My brother's one of the rare biking breeds who's actually inbetween a hardcore roadie and a hardcore hipster biker, even though he probably wouldn't admit it.  But, I digress.

"

When I initially watched the first 30 seconds of it, I totally thought that this was a The Lonely Island/Andy Samberg music video, but alas, it is not.  It's just a very Lonely Island/Andy Samberg-esque video created by a guy named Robin Moore, aka MC Spandx, and trust me, this video is totally full of win.  All of my hardcore roadie friends say that whoever wrote this really nailed the roadie lingo.  It doesn't get much better than a tall, skinny, dorky looking dude rapping in spandex under the name MC Spandx while he dukes it out with a hipster.  Oh, and there are roadie chicks pumping tires in the background, too!

Not only is this video hilarious because I actually know bikers who do all the things that the guy in the video does, but it also pokes fun at both hipster bikers and roadies alike, amplifying the ridiculousness involved in the life of hardcore roadies and that of pretentious hipster bikers.

Things I love about this video:

The way he disses hipsters

  • "Go get yourself some brakes and some shifters"
  • "Anodized chains?  Cards in your spokes?  How can you ride?  Your pants are a joke"  (By the way, you can find out exactly how The Most Interesting Man in the World feels about the hipster's pants!).
  • "Is that a steel frame from 1988?  You might as well use it as an anchor weight"

The way he incoporates roadie lingo
  • "I dropped two g's on my Dura Ace.  Cat 1 racing, now I'm settin' the pace"
  • "My brakes are tuned up so I can stop on a dime.  When I'm in the pack, I'm always holding my line"
  • "Don't mess with my cadence"
  • "24/7 I'm in nothing but spandex.  Cuttin' through the wind 'cuz I'm aerodynamic"
  • "Doing what I can to shave off the seconds.  I shave my legs.  My girl, she don't understand"

The way he name drops
  • "When I slam it, it makes me look inert.  Now I'm beatin' up hills like my name was Eddy Merckx"
  • "With my endurance, you don't stand a chance.  My cardiovascular fitness level's right up there with Lance"

Oh, and the comments posted on the video's YouTube page are pretty good, too
  • "Brakes are for fakes"
  • "Derailleurs are for failures"
  • "Gears are for lazy folk"
  • "Carbon is for losers"

Oh, roadies, always so critical of other bikers ;D
Performance Performance Performance Performance

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March 29, 2010
That is hysterical! I must admit that I've spent over 4k on a Titanium frame + Dura Ace components and I regret it everyday. In the future, I'll stick with mid-range Shimano's instead of splurging on the high end stuff. This video kinda puts things into a painful perspective..........PS silly hipsters and their "not quite" road bikes.
March 29, 2010
Nice to hear this from the perspective of what sounds like an avid biker! Well, hopefully your titanium frame and Dura Ace stuff will last you :) What happens when roadies and bike hipsters fuse? Do they become... roadsters? That's what my brother is :P
 
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About the reviewer
devora ()
Ranked #4
When I'm not Lunching, I'm a jeweler, and an all around, self-proclaimed web geek. My passions include social media, the interweb, technology, writing, yoga, fitness, photography, jewelry, fashion, … more
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